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Why are people rude to quiet people? Watch

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    I have really bad athsma And as a result it's strenuous to speak for long periods and loudly! I got called a chameleon by an ex coworker, a fiesty young girl at 16 had The head to start giving a deeadful amour of abuse to me though I'm pretty sure They have got ten in trouble for It now. In general it can be challenging to get listened to.
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    People are just weird, well it depends on the person judging. Some are just odd and insecure about themselves. It's about them not the quiet person or whoever.

    You could be absolutely the perfect person in the world and you get critisized
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    People who lack morals and have an insecurity complex find that quiet/shy types are easy targets. I've seen it all my life - at school, college, uni and n the workplace. It doesn't stop in adulthood. You watch anyone who bullies/intimidates - they will rarely ever do it to someone who they know will fight back, it just boils down to cowardice. I used to be incredibly shy and I learned the hard way to adapt in adulthood. I was bullied by a sibling all through childhood and it badly affected my confidence - I just learned not to answer back/fight back because the less reaction they got, the more they'd leave me alone. I became totally submissive. But in life, you can't be that way - it works in dangerous/violent situations, like with my crazy sibling - but not in the world of work. So I learned to force myself beyond my acquired behaviour.

    I'm still not exactly extroverted or the life and soul of the party, but I've moved from introvert to ambivert. Some days I can barely interact with people and really have to force myself, other days it's like I'm fully charged and I can fake it like the best of them. It comes and goes, but the 'average' impression I radiate is 'quiet'. I've learned that most people who do well in life don't get to the top by being quiet - you have to learn to raise your voice and fight for your own corner because that is what everyone else is doing. We don't live in a world suited to introversion, especially not in the 21st century with 24/7 social media. It's a constant battle for me, personally. I'm always trying to push myself but I've learned to fight back now. Some people still try to target me when they notice my quietness and assume that it's a weakness, but one good thing about being quiet is that you observe people and learn their behaviours/how they tick - but they can't read you at all. So now when stand up for myself, it takes people by surprise and they back off - people who do it are literally just the lowest of the low and they don't actually have the confidence to push you because they realise they've underestimated you and have no clue who you are.

    So yeah, people do it because they're douche bags...really stupid douche bags. But wait until you get out of school etc and when you find one in the work place it's far easier to put them in their place after a lifetime of experience along with some age-earned confidence.
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    They expect that they can just walk over you. They also don't understand what it's like being shy and don't take the time to know you.
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      (Original post by emerald7770)
      I'm sorry, what?
      I never get this sort of response on a web forum. In a typical vocal conversation you would say "I'm sorry, what?" or even just "uh?", which is a request for the other person to repeat what he just said because you did not hear his words properly. Now on a web forum you do not have that issue. You just read the original message again which was
      I don't see this a huge amount
      by the way. I also dont see it much. If someone is rude then they tend to be rude to anyone, altho shy people may be seen as an easy target due to their unwillingness to stand up for themselves. People can be A-holes.
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      Because bonds between people are formed by personalities and interaction. If someone doesn't appear to have a personality, doesn't interact and so on, then there's very little reason to feel like you should care about them particularly.
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      people say im too quiet but when i do talk they ignore me. smh and they wonder why i dont bother talking to people
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      When I was a kid I was a bit quiet and I had this older guy on my class in school that was always bothering me. Well, I can tell you that after I tried to knock him out he stopped all of the sudden. After that I don't know what happened to me, I started to loosen up a bit and nowadays I talk to everyone. The other day I just made a new friend while riding the bus.
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      Never seen this.
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        I agree 100%
        but i broke the "am quiet" stereotype .Ppl think those that are quiet will never speak up for themselves.But today i gave the lesson of their lives but they now also know where i live....
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        I agree, I'm shy and was shy all through school and I was overlooked by teachers and treated like **** by the aggressive, loud popular girls but tbh, I'd rather be quiet and shy over loud and boisterous.
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        I totally agree, it annoys me when people think I'm rude too because I really am not at all and accept all types of people, i'm just quiet!!!!!
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        I haven't noticed this tendency a great deal, but I suspect a part of it will be them seeing a quiet person as easier to push around, whether intended or not.

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        I was quiet in school and people did try and intimidate me at first. But they saw me as a chilled out, not-take-anything-personally kinda guy. At the end of year 11, i got voted as 'Loudest person' in our yearbook. I also got voted as 'Best smile' (I didn't smile much, but apparently it was nice when i did). It was worse at the start of school. People would say things like 'Omg he talks!' and 'Does he speak with his eyes?'. But just be nice to people and dress cool and do average things and they'll see you as a pretty chill person.
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        (Original post by L i b)
        Because bonds between people are formed by personalities and interaction. If someone doesn't appear to have a personality, doesn't interact and so on, then there's very little reason to feel like you should care about them particularly.
        Yes, but that can be said the opposite way too. Bonds between people are broken by personalities and interaction as well. If someone is loud, boisterous, overbearing and overly confident then there's also very little reason to care about them particularly. At least with quiet people there's an element of calm, coolness and mystery about them...
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        (Original post by emerald7770)
        I've seen this pattern that goes on within the schools and even workplace. The quiet/shy people are treated like crap. Treated like they're darthvader. Even, the teachers sometimes like to join in with it and make a students shyness into a huge issue. I get that participating in discussions is important but if you just ask the shy/quiet person what they think, they will answer. But, they won't put their hand up to answer. Anyway, why don't people give shy people a chance? It takes some people quite a while to show even just a little bit of comfort. Whether it takes years or not. And the most annoying thing is when people say "oh so you talk" "I've never heard you speak", that's mostly likely going to make me not speak again. People think we're grumpy or rude but we're really not. I've seen that teachers are more rude to the quiet bullied kids. Idek. btw, SOME people. Not all.
        I totally agree but I feel maybe by the time you're an adult working then you should be over your quietness?
        You're either being quiet because you can't be bothered to speak... which is pretty rude... (yes I know people like this they are absolute ********s)
        Or you're being quiet because you are too scared to speak and you've just become used to it and don't want to change... in which case I think you're cutting yourself off from a lot of opportunities and are making your life difficult and you should probably at least try getting some help with a therapist

        If you have tried to get help then fair enough I guess...

        Either way rudeness towards anyone is uncalled for...
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        (Original post by Laomedeia)
        I never get this sort of response on a web forum. In a typical vocal conversation you would say "I'm sorry, what?" or even just "uh?", which is a request for the other person to repeat what he just said because you did not hear his words properly. Now on a web forum you do not have that issue. You just read the original message again which was
        by the way. I also dont see it much. If someone is rude then they tend to be rude to anyone, altho shy people may be seen as an easy target due to their unwillingness to stand up for themselves. People can be A-holes.
        You know exactly what I meant by "sorry what?".Obviously I can read what you said, I said that so you can expand on it and make it more understandable. Lol
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        (Original post by Moura)
        I totally agree but I feel maybe by the time you're an adult working then you should be over your quietness?
        You're either being quiet because you can't be bothered to speak... which is pretty rude... (yes I know people like this they are absolute ********s)
        Or you're being quiet because you are too scared to speak and you've just become used to it and don't want to change... in which case I think you're cutting yourself off from a lot of opportunities and are making your life difficult and you should probably at least try getting some help with a therapist

        If you have tried to get help then fair enough I guess...

        Either way rudeness towards anyone is uncalled for...
        If someone simply doesn't want conversation, it doesn't mean they're rude. I mean if you're asking them something and they ignore you, that's different. Or, you geniunally want to have a conversation with them and they're putting no effort into the conversation with no eye contact, that's also different. I don't think those people are shy, or they're just shy people who don't want to actually interact with others. You know? I usually smile when people talk to me to show them I am enjoying this so they don't think I'm not keeping the conversation spicy because I'm a little biatch.
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        (Original post by Moura)
        I totally agree but I feel maybe by the time you're an adult working then you should be over your quietness?
        .
        Was literally going to say this. I think during school it's okay, as you're still developing as a person. But by adulthood, you need to adapt the limitations in your personality to everyday life.

        I'm not saying shy people don't make friends, but it takes a lot longer and a lot of effort to become their friend. As an extrovert, I find dealing with shy people very mentally exhausting, as I'm making all the conversation and feel I get nothing back. I'm not saying this is their fault - it's just a personality clash.

        When working in a small office job, I had to work everyday with one other employee who was extremely shy and suffered anxiety issues. We became very good friends as I had the time to break down her barrier and really get to know her. Many other people in the office labelled her as shy, but I couldn't get her to stop talking!

        However, in another job where there was many different employee's I found myself giving up on the shy worker after like 2 or 3 attempts of making conversation. This may cause them to feel 'left out' of the working group, but at the end of the day - there's only going to be so many times people try to make conversation with you in their spare time before they give up.

        I'm not trying to say this to offend anyone on here, but if you are shy and anxious in social situations it is unfortunately like any problem we all have, something you need to work on. Sure, people shouldn't be making comments, but just like anything else people are opinionated and rude at times.
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        (Original post by Anfanny)
        I have really bad athsma And as a result it's strenuous to speak for long periods and loudly! I got called a chameleon by an ex coworker, a fiesty young girl at 16 had The head to start giving a deeadful amour of abuse to me though I'm pretty sure They have got ten in trouble for It now. In general it can be challenging to get listened to.
        People can be real pathetic. It really just says a lot about their character and how they carry themselves. Let's just hope karma kits them like a ton of bricks.
       
       
       
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