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Why are people rude to quiet people? Watch

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    (Original post by emerald7770)
    If someone simply doesn't want conversation, it doesn't mean they're rude. I mean if you're asking them something and they ignore you, that's different. Or, you geniunally want to have a conversation with them and they're putting no effort into the conversation with no eye contact, that's also different. I don't think those people are shy, or they're just shy people who don't want to actually interact with others. You know? I usually smile when people talk to me to show them I am enjoying this so they don't think I'm not keeping the conversation spicy because I'm a little biatch.
    Sorry but yes it is rude. If you have no social anxiety/shyness and the only reason you're not making conversation is because you never want to talk to anyone then you are rude. Why do you not want to talk to anyone?

    If you have shyness/social anxiety then it isn't that you don't want to talk to people, but you've conditioned yourself to make yourself think you don't want to talk to other people to make yourself feel better about not being able to talk to them. This isn't healthy and will disadvantage you in life, especially in the work place. Simple. It isn't a good thing to have into adulthood and you should try and get professional help.

    There's a difference between being an introvert and a shy person.

    I would never ever be rude to a shy or quiet person but you have to understand it's very draining talking to them... so often people just don't bother. That's not going to help you at work.

    edit - and i don't mean this in a rude way, it isn't something you should feel bad or insecure about... but it is something you can get help for from a therapist! that's all i'm saying
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    (Original post by Moura)
    Sorry but yes it is rude. If you have no social anxiety/shyness and the only reason you're not making conversation is because you never want to talk to anyone then you are rude. Why do you not want to talk to anyone?

    If you have shyness/social anxiety then it isn't that you don't want to talk to people, but you've conditioned yourself to make yourself think you don't want to talk to other people to make yourself feel better about not being able to talk to them. This isn't healthy and will disadvantage you in life, especially in the work place. Simple. It isn't a good thing to have into adulthood and you should try and get professional help.

    There's a difference between being an introvert and a shy person.

    I would never ever be rude to a shy or quiet person but you have to understand it's very draining talking to them... so often people just don't bother. That's not going to help you at work.

    edit - and i don't mean this in a rude way, it isn't something you should feel bad or insecure about... but it is something you can get help for from a therapist! that's all i'm saying
    I'm sorry but what? Wasn't gonna post and I don't want to seem like I'm arguing but if someone doesn't want to have a conversation with you, that's totally their right. "Why do you not want to talk to anyone?" Sorry but - why do you care? How is this your problem?

    If someone doesn't initiate talking to you, it's not rude. That's because it's totally not about you. You say there's a difference between shyness and introversion but it seems you don't even know what introversion means - it's that you basically don't have the desire to talk to someone if you feel there is nothing worthy to say. And there is nothing wrong with being introverted, nor are introverts in need of any professional help.
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    (Original post by Sabby888)
    I'm sorry but what? Wasn't gonna post and I don't want to seem like I'm arguing but if someone doesn't want to have a conversation with you, that's totally their right. "Why do you not want to talk to anyone?" Sorry but - why do you care? How is this your problem?

    If someone doesn't initiate talking to you, it's not rude. That's because it's totally not about you. You say there's a difference between shyness and introversion but it seems you don't even know what introversion means - it's that you basically don't have the desire to talk to someone if you feel there is nothing worthy to say. And there is nothing wrong with being introverted, nor are introverts in need of any professional help.

    Preach! As in introvert, I utterly despise small talk and try not to engage in it unless I have to, whether it be to ease tension or whatever. I prefer my conversations to be meaningful and important. It's not because I'm rude... if I don't have anything to say, well... I'm sorry but I don't have anything to say. It's as simple as that.

    Back on topic: I see this all of the time, it is incredibly frustrating - but also highlights deep insecurities within the people that do it, often I take pity on those that are so insecure they have to take it out on the others around them. If someone says to me: "Oh, you actually speak!!11!!11" etc., I just laugh and ignore the afterwards. It's tiresome, but when people say things like that they're usually just joking. It's when the cruel jokes occur that it turns into rude behaviour imo.
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    They are most probably insecure about themselves and therefore try to degrade you to make themselves feel better, as they see you as an easy target. Pathetic really.
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    (Original post by emerald7770)
    I've seen this pattern that goes on within the schools and even workplace. The quiet/shy people are treated like crap. Treated like they're darthvader. Even, the teachers sometimes like to join in with it and make a students shyness into a huge issue. I get that participating in discussions is important but if you just ask the shy/quiet person what they think, they will answer. But, they won't put their hand up to answer. Anyway, why don't people give shy people a chance? It takes some people quite a while to show even just a little bit of comfort. Whether it takes years or not. And the most annoying thing is when people say "oh so you talk" "I've never heard you speak", that's mostly likely going to make me not speak again. People think we're grumpy or rude but we're really not. I've seen that teachers are more rude to the quiet bullied kids. Idek. btw, SOME people. Not all.
    I can relate. People always misunderstood my shyness, they thought I was being a snob or that I thought I was better than everyone.
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    Ever heard of natural selection?
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    (Original post by Moura)
    Sorry but yes it is rude. If you have no social anxiety/shyness and the only reason you're not making conversation is because you never want to talk to anyone then you are rude. Why do you not want to talk to anyone?

    If you have shyness/social anxiety then it isn't that you don't want to talk to people, but you've conditioned yourself to make yourself think you don't want to talk to other people to make yourself feel better about not being able to talk to them. This isn't healthy and will disadvantage you in life, especially in the work place. Simple. It isn't a good thing to have into adulthood and you should try and get professional help.

    There's a difference between being an introvert and a shy person.

    I would never ever be rude to a shy or quiet person but you have to understand it's very draining talking to them... so often people just don't bother. That's not going to help you at work.

    edit - and i don't mean this in a rude way, it isn't something you should feel bad or insecure about... but it is something you can get help for from a therapist! that's all i'm saying
    No, it's not rude. wtf.

    and introversion isn't a mental disorder which requires therapy.

    + it's also "very draining" for us introverts to have to put on an act everyday to satisfy you extroverted people's needs/comfort- i.e. not making conversations with you awkward, talking a bit more to balance the convo, etc.
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    (Original post by Nadine_08)
    No, it's not rude. wtf.

    and introversion isn't a mental disorder which requires therapy.

    + it's also "very draining" for us introverts to have to put on an act everyday to satisfy you extroverted people's needs/comfort- i.e. not making conversations with you awkward, talking a bit more to balance the convo, etc.

    which is why there is a difference between being introverted and shy. there is a solvable problem with being shy, there isn't a problem with being introverted. if you think there isn't a difference then you don't know what it means
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    (Original post by emerald7770)
    I've seen this pattern that goes on within the schools and even workplace. The quiet/shy people are treated like crap. Treated like they're darthvader. Even, the teachers sometimes like to join in with it and make a students shyness into a huge issue. I get that participating in discussions is important but if you just ask the shy/quiet person what they think, they will answer. But, they won't put their hand up to answer. Anyway, why don't people give shy people a chance? It takes some people quite a while to show even just a little bit of comfort. Whether it takes years or not. And the most annoying thing is when people say "oh so you talk" "I've never heard you speak", that's mostly likely going to make me not speak again. People think we're grumpy or rude but we're really not. I've seen that teachers are more rude to the quiet bullied kids. Idek. btw, SOME people. Not all.
    You might enjoy this book.
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    I'm going to admit I haven't seen this a whole lot in my experience and I used to be (still am to an extent) very quiet in classes - no1 ever gave me stick for it.

    So I find this very odd.
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    (Original post by Moura)
    which is why there is a difference between being introverted and shy. there is a solvable problem with being shy, there isn't a problem with being introverted. if you think there isn't a difference then you don't know what it means
    You're right, however the description you gave in your post was introversion, not shyness. You better check your definitions.
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    (Original post by macromicro)
    You might enjoy this book.
    Love this book!!! Her TED talk is equally inspiring:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4
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    Let me tell you a story, when I was younger in primary school and early secondary school, I was extremely quiet, I was voted the most quiet girl in the class, I was liked by all the teachers as I never disturbed them when they were teaching, in fact I was just observing, when I got home my family was extremely strict with my studies, We didn't own a tv in our house can you believe it, I wasn't allowed to go for slumber parties or sleep over at a friends house, I was allowed to go swimming etc but had to be home by a certain time, I was petrified most of the time of my elders. I would get only distinctions (A's and B's) in my report cards everyone else in class seemed to be doing badly and then they would be rude, so it was a direct result of my doing better then them academically, I remember once a gang of girls decided to attack me, I never told anyone. But its natures way remember I was liked by all the teachers, I was made class monitor. So yes the teachers were making it worse by making me a prefect because my life was intolerable.

    But things changed for me later on, due to meeting up with a friend she was new to our school and we would even skip classes, got ourselves boyfriends basically in the end I was only good towards science, accounting and maths subjects the rest I had to sacrifice due to balancing my other life with my school life. I became more like the other girls and was liked, in fact the reason I was picked on is because I was different not like them, when I became like them I was accepted.
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    I totally agree with your post except the bullying part. I've never seen people being bullied just because they're quiet, nor have I ever been.
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    Pipe up, or get out my classroom. With the greatest of respect to the less vocally inclined, I'm sick of quiet people freeloading on my vocal contributions. I get you may be shy, but come on, no one is going to bite, the whole point of learning is to learn and one way to do is through mistakes. Speak up, you won't hurt yourself.
 
 
 
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