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How is depression/anxiety diagnosed? (also a bit about SH)

Can anyone shed any light on this?

I'm going to go to my GP (eventually :redface:

) but I'm unsure of how to approach the situation.

anyways I'm felt like I need to go for ages but I feel I really do need to sort myself out as I've begun to self-harm again (did it a bit before but stopped). When I'm in the kitchen its too tempting and I end up running a knife over my wrists arghhh. The thing is, the marks it leaves fade after a while (for some reason I can't draw blood :frown:

) and so it makes me do it again.

The thing that stopped me last time was the fact that I felt different to everyone else and stopped through shame. I had to keep the red marks (not scars) covered with a cardigan or something because I was paranoid somebody would see.

I want to get help before I get any worse :smile:

Nobody knows about the way I'm feeling.

[Mods, please keep Anon for personal reasons]

Reply 1

kexy

16

Anonymous

Can anyone shed any light on this?

I'm going to go to my GP (eventually :redface:

) but I'm unsure of how to approach the situation.

anyways I'm felt like I need to go for ages but I feel I really do need to sort myself out as I've begun to self-harm again (did it a bit before but stopped). When I'm in the kitchen its too tempting and I end up running a knife over my wrists arghhh. The thing is, the marks it leaves fade after a while (for some reason I can't draw blood :frown:

) and so it makes me do it again.

The thing that stopped me last time was the fact that I felt different to everyone else and stopped through shame. I had to keep the red marks (not scars) covered with a cardigan or something because I was paranoid somebody would see.

I want to get help before I get any worse :smile:

Nobody knows about the way I'm feeling.

[Mods, please keep Anon for personal reasons]

Please, pm me - i've been there before and it's an awfull thing to go through on your own.

If there's anything I can do to help, maybe just someone to talk to about it then you're very welcome to talk to me about it - i spent a few years of my life wasting away on the thrill of pain until I realised what it was all about.

Try tell your GP if you can - there's something not right when you feel the need to cause pain to yourself - there's nothing wrong with you for doing it and don't feel ashamed in doing it, but accept that it can cause huge problems for you and it's obviously better not to do it, than to do it.

Reply 2

Kagutsuchi

20

Please PM me too. ;yes;

Your GP is there just for help and not to look down on you. All he/she will probably do is look at the marks, talk to you, and refer you to someone with more qualification.

If it's not too personal (and feel free to say no to this question, or PM so i can help you) why and when did you begin to inflict self harm?

We're here to help, not look down on you. :wink:

;console;

Reply 3

kexy

16

Kagutsuchi

Please PM me too. ;yes;

Your GP is there just for help and not to look down on you. All he/she will probably do is look at the marks, talk to you, and refer you to someone with more qualification.

If it's not too personal (and feel free to say no to this question, or PM so i can help you) why and when did you begin to inflict self harm?

We're here to help, not look down on you. :wink:

;console;

Very well said - it's not something to ever be shy about - you shouldn't have to worry about what anyone thinks.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

kexy

Please, pm me - i've been there before and it's an awfull thing to go through on your own.

If there's anything I can do to help, maybe just someone to talk to about it then you're very welcome to talk to me about it - i spent a few years of my life wasting away on the thrill of pain until I realised what it was all about.

Try tell your GP if you can - there's something not right when you feel the need to cause pain to yourself - there's nothing wrong with you for doing it and don't feel ashamed in doing it, but accept that it can cause huge problems for you and it's obviously better not to do it, than to do it.

cheers, for the offer.. I might take you up on that and PM you :smile:

that's exactly it! I get a thrill when I run the knife over the veins in my wrist and leave behind a red mark. how pathetic does that sound? :redface:

I really want to talk to my GP about everything but I'm not sure how to start the conversation.

thanks for your kind reply :smile:

Reply 5

Kagutsuchi

20

kexy

Very well said - it's not something to ever be shy about - you shouldn't have to worry about what anyone thinks.

Very true. :wink:

Besides, only idiots and morons will take advantage and mock someone like you. ;yes;

Reply 6

kexy

16

Anonymous

cheers, for the offer.. I might take you up on that and PM you :smile:

that's exactly it! I get a thrill when I run the knife over the veins in my wrist and leave behind a red mark. how pathetic does that sound? :redface:

I really want to talk to my GP about everything but I'm not sure how to start the conversation.

thanks for your kind reply :smile:

It's not pathetic - it's just something the majority of people can't understand. I spent years been told by various therapists that I did it to punish myself because I felt guilty or I was doing it for the attention.

And I spent years telling them I wasn't - they've moved away from that idea recently and most research is pointing towards the idea that pain can increase the strength of the "happy hormones" in the brain - and it does actually make people feel better.

You really need to be carefull though - don't let it control you, try to curb it and cut it out if you can, it's not really too healthy. :rolleyes:

Reply 7

Kagutsuchi

20

Anonymous

cheers, for the offer.. I might take you up on that and PM you :smile:

that's exactly it! I get a thrill when I run the knife over the veins in my wrist and leave behind a red mark. how pathetic does that sound? :redface:

I really want to talk to my GP about everything but I'm not sure how to start the conversation.

thanks for your kind reply :smile:

Pathetic? No. You're just in need of some help to steer yourself away from this unhealthy habit. ;console;

Inflicting pain upon yourself seems like a drug doesn't it? It hurts but at the same time, you're releasing so much bottled emotions that you just need to release it right? That's why you fundamentally cut yourself.

Try to go out with friends more and maybe learn a martial art. ;yes; You'll learn to focus, and it does wonders for your control and body too. :hugs:

Hope you get better. ;console; :hugs:

Reply 8

Rhoadissimus

1

Having been in the same sort of position as you, I understand what it's like. Please feel free to PM me too. Mine wasn't mainly for the thrill though, it was more becuase I felt so alone in my depression, it was all I could do.
In answer to your thread title, they ask you a few questions(set ones) and depending on your answer give you points. When they've finished asking you questions they add up the points. The higher it is the 'worse' you are. This is the Goldberg scale. Hope it helps you a bit.
And please don't feel ashamed. There's nothing shameful about it.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Kagutsuchi

Please PM me too. ;yes;

Your GP is there just for help and not to look down on you. All he/she will probably do is look at the marks, talk to you, and refer you to someone with more qualification.

If it's not too personal (and feel free to say no to this question, or PM so i can help you) why and when did you begin to inflict self harm?

We're here to help, not look down on you. :wink:

;console;

cheers for the kind offer too :smile:

There are no marks to show though.. they fade away a few mins after I SH. I can't even go deeper than a scratch :rolleyes:

It's not even a scratch, it's literally just a red line.

I was in the shower recently and suddenly I thought 'oh, the hot water makes your veins come to the surface [easier to release heat from the body and all that /Biol geek]' so I tried using the sharp edge of my shampoo bottle. (it sits on its top, so there are two sharp edges at the other end) arghh even in the shower FFS! I really am messed up :frown:

well my Mother passed away at the beginning of last year after a very long illness (bless her :frown:

) strangely I felt kind of relieved for her since she didn't have to suffer anymore (of course I was upset too!) but for the past 6 months or so, the grief has become unbearable and I feel overwhelmed and can not talk about her without getting very emotional. I miss her more than anyone can ever imagine.

Not only this but since the end of last year, my anxiety levels have shot up (I've always been a worrier but this is outrageous) I'm constantly worried/ feeling guilty/ thinking the worst will happen in every situation. It's really getting me down.

I also think I'm a tad depressed (I know this term is used too loosely sometimes) at my last uni (I'm a reapplicant) I felt really down all the time, no get up and go, feeling agitated etc. and there was one night where I had been out clubbing enjoying myself and then when I went back to halls, I literally HATED myself :s-smilie:

I completely broke down in my room and when a flatmate came to see where I was (I had gone straight to my room) I said to her 'I can't live with myself anymore', I saw some tablets and said 'I want to take those tablets and overdose' I think that was when I realised something was wrong. I don't know where it all came from though :s-smilie:

I was perfectly happy when I went out.

I kind of calmed down for a few months (still unhappy to a large extent though) but now it's bothering me again

this constant anxiety or whatever it is is really irritating. It's unending and dare I say it..overwhelming.

the other night was like a repeat of that night..I was in my room alone trying to get to sleep for the early shift at work but instead I cried and felt over-emotional. That was when I felt compelled to pick up a knife and start SH'ing again)

I have suicidal thoughts a lot too :frown:

I'm really scared of dying of some illness like my Mum so I have decided that I'd prefer 'suicide' on my death certificate than 'cancer' or whatever. I want to die of my own accord. I find it somewhat comforting that it's always there just in case, it gets just toomuch. I don't think I'd bring myself to do it though..

sorry for the really long post.. I felt I needed to get it all off my chest :redface:

Reply 10

emmarainbow

12

*hugs* from me too. Talk to someone about it, even if it is just some random internetter. Don't be alone.

Reply 11

kexy

16

Anonymous

cheers for the kind offer too :smile:

There are no marks to show though.. they fade away a few mins after I SH. I can't even go deeper than a scratch :rolleyes:

It's not even a scratch, it's literally just a red line.

I was in the shower recently and suddenly I thought 'oh, the hot water makes your veins come to the surface [easier to release heat from the body and all that /Biol geek]' so I tried using the sharp edge of my shampoo bottle. (it sits on its top, so there are two sharp edges at the other end) arghh even in the shower FFS! I really am messed up :frown:

well my Mother passed away at the beginning of last year after a very long illness (bless her :frown:

) strangely I felt kind of relieved for her since she didn't have to suffer anymore (of course I was upset too!) but for the past 6 months or so, the grief has become unbearable and I feel overwhelmed and can not talk about her without getting very emotional. I miss her more than anyone can ever imagine.

Not only this but since the end of last year, my anxiety levels have shot up (I've always been a worrier but this is outrageous) I'm constantly worried/ feeling guilty/ thinking the worst will happen in every situation. It's really getting me down.

I also think I'm a tad depressed (I know this term is used too loosely sometimes) at my last uni (I'm a reapplicant) I felt really down all the time, no get up and go, feeling agitated etc. and there was one night where I had been out clubbing enjoying myself and then when I went back to halls, I literally HATED myself :s-smilie:

I completely broke down in my room and when a flatmate came to see where I was (I had gone straight to my room) I said to her 'I can't live with myself anymore', I saw some tablets and said 'I want to take those tablets and overdose' I think that was when I realised something was wrong. I don't know where it all came from though :s-smilie:

I was perfectly happy when I went out.

I kind of calmed down for a few months (still unhappy to a large extent though) but now it's bothering me again

this constant anxiety or whatever it is is really irritating. It's unending and dare I say it..overwhelming.

the other night was like a repeat of that night..I was in my room alone trying to get to sleep for the early shift at work but instead I cried and felt over-emotional. That was when I felt compelled to pick up a knife and start SH'ing again)

I have suicidal thoughts a lot too :frown:

I'm really scared of dying of some illness like my Mum so I have decided that I'd prefer 'suicide' on my death certificate than 'cancer' or whatever. I want to die of my own accord. I find it somewhat comforting that it's always there just in case, it gets just toomuch. I don't think I'd bring myself to do it though..

sorry for the really long post.. I felt I needed to get it all off my chest :redface:

I really wish I could reach through to you and give you a huge hug! You really deserve one, you really do.

I think you're doing fantastic to cope as you are, you just need a little bit of fine tuning to get it right!
You've gone through an awfull lot - a lot of people would break down completely.

As regards to the hurting yourself - sometimes you might do it randomonly, i've used eveything from broken CDs to lighters to hurt myself.

My offer is still there - if you need anything, anything at all then i'm here - even if its for just for a general chit-chat :smile:

*hugs*

Reply 12

hannah_dru

2

In my case the doctors I went to listened to what I told them. I told them about all my problems and how I was feeling and reacting to things and then they diagnosed it.

:hugs:

They may look at your arms but in my case she didn't and I had to tell her in the end.

I really hope you feel better soon. You deserve to.

Reply 13

beach surf babe

14

If your worried about how to start explaining, it might help to write it down and give that to your doctor. I hope you seek help soon :hugs:

Reply 14

love_mojitos

2

Mental health is just as important as physical health.

Reply 15

Lady Venom

14

It kind of sounds like you are trying to bottle up your grief rather than letting it all out. You may find that talking about everything will help. I've always learnt that bottling stuff up makes it worse, everytime. Even typing it out must be helping slightly. Welldone on having the courage to come on here. It's a start - keep it up :smile:

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

cheers everyone, all your replies are appreciated :smile:

I feel crap right now (lol :rolleyes:

) even though I should be happy. I've been shopping with mates and all I could talk about was how crap I feel and how much I miss my Mum. I stopped myself though, and apologized for talking about myself so much :redface:

I really can't believe how different I am now, to how I was when I was younger :frown:

I am now in quite a low mood and I kinda feel like giving up (that sort of, I want to go to sleep and not wake up feeling :redface:

) but I'm going out again later on, so hopefully I'll have fun then :smile:

Somebody make me go to my GP please :frown:

I don't want to go in secret but I don't know how to tell my Dad I need help.. I'm very good at covering up my feelings to my family so I'd feel awkward and guilty for not letting him know sooner...

Reply 17

beach surf babe

14

Don't feel guilty about not letting him know. We all cover up how we feel sometimes for whatever reasons. Its hard to pick a good moment though isn't it? Just grab him one day when you won't be disturbed and start talking :biggrin:

I suppose its a good practice run for when you see your doctor as well.

Reply 18

kexy

16

Anonymous

cheers everyone, all your replies are appreciated :smile:

I feel crap right now (lol :rolleyes:

) even though I should be happy. I've been shopping with mates and all I could talk about was how crap I feel and how much I miss my Mum. I stopped myself though, and apologized for talking about myself so much :redface:

I really can't believe how different I am now, to how I was when I was younger :frown:

I am now in quite a low mood and I kinda feel like giving up (that sort of, I want to go to sleep and not wake up feeling :redface:

) but I'm going out again later on, so hopefully I'll have fun then :smile:

Somebody make me go to my GP please :frown:

I don't want to go in secret but I don't know how to tell my Dad I need help.. I'm very good at covering up my feelings to my family so I'd feel awkward and guilty for not letting him know sooner...

Why don't you maybe write a letter to your dad?

Just say what you've put in here - say you needed to put it in word for him to understand?

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

OP

ok, last night started off alright but ended really badly. Went to see a film and surprise surprise, it reminded me of my Mum. (a bit in the storyline was about a little girl who'd just lost her Mum) If I had known that was in it, I wouldn't have went! After the film, I felt so depressed (cue more crying and self-harm :rolleyes:

) never have I wanted to end it as much.

So, I couldn't hide it from my Dad any longer. I blurted out that I think I need to go to the Doctor's and he seemed worried :frown:

today I went to the Zoo, with a mate that was concerned about me after last night. I told her EVERYTHING and when we were having lunch, I felt really uncomfy eating (was paranoid about the SH marks), she asked what was up and eventually I showed her my wrists :redface:

she told me she was always there to help if needed and so on. It really helped to let someone know how I was feeling.

So now I'm wondering should I bite the bullet and make an appointment to see my GP (I'm afraid I'll do something really stupid next time I have a bad night) but I'm going to uni in a week and I'll probably not get an appointment before then :frown:

(I want to get it sorted out asap)

How is depression/anxiety diagnosed? (also a bit about SH)

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