I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place to post this thread, but I suppose that it is related to my mental health so it'll do! I don't think I'm depressed, but I am pretty miserable and have been for some time, and recent events have exacerbated my bad mood. I do touch upon my rejection from Cambridge, and although I appear bitter, I am just telling the truth. I want to be honest so that opinions can actually address my problem.
Yesterday I was rejected by Cambridge to study law after achieving 8A*s at GCSE and 5As at AS level in History, English lit, Geography, Maths, Economics and General Studies. My UMS was also relatively high (above 90%) for unreformed subjects. I go to a Comprehensive school, where the average grade achieved at A level is a C. I got the best results at AS in my year. I was rejected after being entered into the inter-collegiate pool, by showing 'sufficient ability and potential'. I had always wanted to study law at Cambridge and felt an astronomical amount of pressure from my peers, teachers and family. Three in my year applied to Oxbridge, and the other two got accepted into Oxford with, relative to mine, sub-par grades (multiple Bs). I sound bitter, and I am - I do not think the application system is fair. Yet, that's an entirely different issue, and I have no problem with my two classmates that were accepted.
Anyway, after a pretty bad day following rejection, I quickly got over it. I have offers from Durham and Bristol for law which I would be happy to take, and I am sure they would offer me a fantastic legal education and career. However, the thought of studying at university, and studying a very intense degree, makes me feel sick. I feel completely disillusioned with education, and I did so before my Cambridge rejection. I am studying law because I don't know what else to do, I have no other feasible alternative. Sure, law looks interesting enough and I'm sure I would be able to excel at it, but the thought of working in a London office for 12+hours a day, even if I did earn a ridiculous salary, does not particularly appeal to me.
I feel completely lost, honestly - and I struggle to explain why, as anyone looking at my life would say I am very fortunate. As I look into the future, no route or options inspire any happiness in me. I study law at a top uni, do well, then get a job I can't see myself enjoying. I sack uni off and then end up having absolutely nothing to do. If I chose an alternative path beside Uni (apprenticeship etc), I feel like I would be wasting my academic potential and letting myself and others down. I am usually such an upbeat, positive person, but I have recently come crashing back down to earth and I feel like crap. I have mocks in a weeks time and I have done absolutely no revision, usually I would care but I feel so lethargic.
Attributing this problem to my Cambridge rejection would be far too melodramatic. I have been feeling like this for a while, and I think my Cambridge rejection has tipped me over the edge. I feel absolutely average, a bit of a failure, that I can't amount to much, that stronger competition in life will always beat me. I am an extremely competitive person, and I think I almost assumed I would walk into Cambridge and my life would be fantastic (I know life doesn't work like that, but your imagination runs away sometimes). I have been fed a heavy dose of reality and come crashing back down to earth, I think. But I must reiterate - this wasn't caused solely by my rejection, I've been a negative **** for a while now.
Any life advice would be greatly appreciated, I'm finding it hard to express my mood in words and I am aware that I've come across as an entitled turd but I cannot really help it.
Miserable mood and attitude towards university and future Watch
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- 14-01-2017 15:08
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- 14-01-2017 21:38
As soon as I read "I am studying law because I don't know what else to do", my immediate thought was why are you putting yourself through so much stress and debt to do something you're not particular thrilled about?
I probably sound like a hypocrite since I am stuck in a degree that I have realised I don't want to do much with anymore, but I do like it, mostly. I've just realised I miss doing another subject and that it brings me more happiness.
Anyway, back to the point. I would seriously consider rethinking about going to study at uni something that does not interest you. I would also see if you can talk to someone about your negative feelings. You've said you've been feeling down for a few weeks and that's not nice at all, I sympathise so much. A Levels are incredibly stressful. You're clearly not a failure academically with those grades, but I would suggest perhaps trying to find something else to do other than studying. I say this from experience.
I know none of that is probably helpful.
- 15-01-2017 16:07
I'm sorry to hear you feel like this OP
As the above poster said, you don't strike me as particularly passionate about your subject choice. An idea could be to decide to take a year out and go travelling/volunteering abroad somewhere. It sounds cliche that travel might be the answer - but as someone who's been there and done it - I swear getting away and seeing what else is out there is one of the best things you can do.
During a year out, you could perhaps work and intern in various fields to see what really inspires you and get yourself back on your feet.
Yes, law is prestigious and there is money to be made. But if you think now even before uni that the idea of 12 hours in an office isn't for you - then you have your answer?
At the end of the day OP, this is your life and uni isn't going anywhere, and with those amazing grades - the world really is your oyster!