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No contact rule why I don't believen it Watch

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    Hi hezzlinton, I'm chilling hope you're good.

    Anyway if you're not familiar with the no contact rule google it.
    Here's why I don't like it..

    Because in this day in age it will only make them forget about u, it's used to get your s/o back but really... In 2017 ppl have no attention span anyway and it's onto the next one.

    Has it actually worked for anyone here?
    Im doing it and I'm dying over here, and I don't think he gives a flying fly.
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    Works on some girls. The ones you don't want.
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    (Original post by xobeauty)
    Hi hezzlinton, I'm chilling hope you're good.

    Anyway if you're not familiar with the no contact rule google it.
    Here's why I don't like it..

    Because in this day in age it will only make them forget about u, it's used to get your s/o back but really... In 2017 ppl have no attention span anyway and it's onto the next one.

    Has it actually worked for anyone here?
    Im doing it and I'm dying over here, and I don't think he gives a flying fly.
    What are you talking about?
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    If you want to get back together, tell him. Works 10x better than trying to make him guess
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    hezzlington
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    Welcome back
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    Lol wtf is this?
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Lol wtf is this?
    The funny thing is she is no contacting him and yet she's the one missing him :rofl:
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    That's life.
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    (Original post by TheExtrovertGod)
    The funny thing is she is no contacting him and yet she's the one missing him :rofl:
    Never understood why some people can't just be honest and straight forward about what they want? :lol:

    like why make it more difficult for yourself?
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Never understood why some people can't just be honest and straight forward about what they want? :lol:

    like why make it more difficult for yourself?
    It would work on her though. I have to say there are some weird people who build attraction like this.
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    (Original post by TheExtrovertGod)
    It would work on her though. I have to say there are some weird people who build attraction like this.
    Which I find so baffling. :lol:
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    i thought this was a debate about some sport rule or something :lol:
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Lol wtf is this?
    This is xobeauty.

    She doesnt quite make sense
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    (Original post by hezzlington)
    This is xobeauty.

    She doesnt quite make sense

    Phahaha, fair point.

    She sure is an enigma.
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    The no contact rule is more about yourself rather than creating some desire to get back together in the other person.

    It allows you to focus on other things in your life and helps you move on and be open to other people, without the torture/indignity of repeatedly contacting someone who doesn't really want you to contact them.

    Trying to contact someone usually comes from you thinking you have control of something you don't. Yes occasionally people that have split up do get back together, but sometimes desperation can make you blind to see the obvious. You try contacting them to confess your feelings to say how much you need them, but they don't respond by jumping back to you, so you just get frustrated and keep trying other tactics through desperation. Sometimes people try the pity approach, wanting to show the other person that their life has gone downhill since they broke up, partly this is a guilt trip to make the other person feel guilty and feel an obligation to get back with them, or to get attention by making the other person feel sorry for how depressed they have become. Other times people try the one-upmanship approach, playing a game of wanting to show the other person how so amazing their life has become and how hot they now look, now they are outside the relationship, hoping that the other person will then feel super jealous and want to get back.

    I'm not lecturing people for doing this or looking down on them. I have done it in that situation and I'm not proud of it, but I learned hard lessons from it. Whatever your approach in trying to keep contacting them, you run the risk that the harsh reality of life will slowly batter you in to accepting something that you daren't accept. At first you realise that you are pouring your heart and feelings out and then getting treated relatively coolly by the other person. Sometimes you even want arguments, because at least arguments show some kind of passion, its when the other person starts to treat you with indifference that it's a killer, even if they are trying to be nice and polite. And then the more you keep up contacting them, the more you risk watching them moving on, finding another person. That kind of thing happens in life, the choice you have is whether you want it to be rubbed in your face or not.

    If you want to avoid it you have to add the no stalking on social media rule to the no contact rule. Even if you aren't contacting them, if you are compulsively on their facebook / insta or checking whether they have changed their whatsapp picture then you are just putting yourself in a prison of this break up that you will never be able to get out of. All you do is get anxious before every stalk, then get a temporary relief if they haven't posted any updates, and keep repeating that cycle, until in the end you see something you don't like.

    No contact doesn't mean you never speak again, but it's easier to have a healthy friendship with them at a later point when you have both moved on and are in the same kind of position, ideally both with other people.
 
 
 
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