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abusive/demanding bf

can someone tell me the 1st signs of a controlling bf?

When he bombards you with calls asking where you are when you are out with friends. When he doesn't want you hanging out with other people and gets jealous.

Reply 2

ForeverIsMyName

When you have to use the anon function to make sure he never finds out that you started this thread.

Seems like you're safe for now.

Reply 3

mermania

when you make a thread on a forum asking what the first sign of a controlling boyfriend is

Reply 4

*River

When you suspect that your boyfriend is becoming abusive and/or demanding.

Reply 5

qubog

When you start realising you're being cut off from all your friends and family and spending every night with him. Then it's just a short route to hiding your till receipts so he doesn't find out how much you spend on shoes because he would 'disapprove'

Reply 6

Schmokie Dragon

Controlling bf:

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Phones you constantly, whether or not he is being nice or nasty. Too much contact shows insecurity at the best of times, and often a desire to control

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Doesn't want to associate with your friends and tries to regulate your social life.

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Gets upset when you are late/don't go on MSN on time/don't call when you are supposed to, even if you are only a little late

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Asks to look at your e-mail/texts/MSN convos or looks at them behind your back

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Tries to control how you act and dress, especially in public or around male friends

Basically, controlling boyfriends try to control you (duh) and take far too much anxious interest in your actions.

And abusive ones:

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insult you

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try to make you feel inferior

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try to make you dependent on them by telling you that you are nothing without them

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hurt you physically. It doesn't matter if they apologize afterwards

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get aggressive around you, even if they don't hurt you

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do things that they know scare you

Reply 7

hippieglitter

When he starts giving you ultimatums, makes you choose between you friends and him, expects you to be with him 24/7 and won't let you talk to anyone he doesn't know.

Reply 8

tropical brainstorm

Mermania is spot on.

The fact that you have to ask says all you need to know about your relationship.

X

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

lil_missez

can someone tell me the 1st signs of a controlling bf?

I'm a bit late here... but like Schmokie said, there's a big difference between controlling and abusive. My current boyfriend has a history of abusive relationships, although he's been very open about it and I've known it since second one. He's never tried anything on me, and his honesty makes me trust him, for now.

My advice is: get the ... out of there! I've made a promise to leave if I feel even slightly intimidated or scared by him, and you should do the same. I've ended up at the hospital once after abuse, and believe me, it wasn't very pleasant. Take care honey, hope it sorted itself out and let us know.