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Depression and emotional baggage pushing people away Watch

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    Lately, I've been very unwell. Emotionally, and physically I've felt exhausted. There has been a lot of reasons why my mental health has suffered- (and I know some of you might blame me and criticise me for it)-, including work-related stress, frustration at trying to find a job in my field, arguing with partner, worries about family and adjusting to having moved away.

    Most importantly though, I stopped taking my medication. This was not because I intended to, more because my meds ran out, and i decided to order online as im on repeat prescription, but in doing so it hasnt worked, and there was a delay and I've not gone back to doctors for an appt because I'm too anxious and I've been without them for three weeks (through Christmas etc.).

    On top of this, I've had work related issues and pretty much felt down consistently, every day of every week for as long as i can rememeber.

    I enjoy life, but only in particular moments and intervals yet so depressed at same time. its a weird frame of mind.

    I want a decent paying job, after all that study and graft, and it just feels like im not good enough.

    I've had near interviews for jobs, I've got one coming up but im far too stressed and ill for it. I don't have confidence in my abilities, and given nature of my industry I need to be confident to present ideas.

    I'm in counselling and have been for some time. Lately, shes been very challenging and direct and hit a few nerves last time we saw each other. And wants to tackle the issue as to why im so resistant in therapy, why there is so much anger and emotion. Explore my disability and how it all links to my current mind frame of inadequacy. Last time, she basically implied that 'do I think that my disability is an easy excuse'. And would be appropriate/how would it feel if I suggested that in the past it was easier to excuse yourself with this lablel, and now your older and more able bodied, that you have no need to use it- but still revert to it. And psychologically your in the same state you were as a child.

    I found her mildly offensive and she directly asked me if I was offended or I disagreed with her. To which I said yes I do, and she wanted to explore that. As she knows I dont like to disagree with people and i skirt around the issue - because im not assertive.

    She is pushing buttons for me, but in fact, it isn't helping, as she has seemingly made me relfect more and im finding myself more angrier at people in my daily life and pissed off.

    I am at my wits end.

    Had a massive argument with my partner tonight, as she says im constantly miserable but do nothing about it....screw this...
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    (Original post by royal1990)
    Lately, I've been very unwell. Emotionally, and physically I've felt exhausted. There has been a lot of reasons why my mental health has suffered- (and I know some of you might blame me and criticise me for it)-, including work-related stress, frustration at trying to find a job in my field, arguing with partner, worries about family and adjusting to having moved away.

    Most importantly though, I stopped taking my medication. This was not because I intended to, more because my meds ran out, and i decided to order online as im on repeat prescription, but in doing so it hasnt worked, and there was a delay and I've not gone back to doctors for an appt because I'm too anxious and I've been without them for three weeks (through Christmas etc.).

    On top of this, I've had work related issues and pretty much felt down consistently, every day of every week for as long as i can rememeber.

    I enjoy life, but only in particular moments and intervals yet so depressed at same time. its a weird frame of mind.

    I want a decent paying job, after all that study and graft, and it just feels like im not good enough.

    I've had near interviews for jobs, I've got one coming up but im far too stressed and ill for it. I don't have confidence in my abilities, and given nature of my industry I need to be confident to present ideas.

    I'm in counselling and have been for some time. Lately, shes been very challenging and direct and hit a few nerves last time we saw each other. And wants to tackle the issue as to why im so resistant in therapy, why there is so much anger and emotion. Explore my disability and how it all links to my current mind frame of inadequacy. Last time, she basically implied that 'do I think that my disability is an easy excuse'. And would be appropriate/how would it feel if I suggested that in the past it was easier to excuse yourself with this lablel, and now your older and more able bodied, that you have no need to use it- but still revert to it. And psychologically your in the same state you were as a child.

    I found her mildly offensive and she directly asked me if I was offended or I disagreed with her. To which I said yes I do, and she wanted to explore that. As she knows I dont like to disagree with people and i skirt around the issue - because im not assertive.

    She is pushing buttons for me, but in fact, it isn't helping, as she has seemingly made me relfect more and im finding myself more angrier at people in my daily life and pissed off.

    I am at my wits end.

    Had a massive argument with my partner tonight, as she says im constantly miserable but do nothing about it....screw this...
    Are you able to see a different counsellor? If she's just causing you to be angry it doesn't sound like a good relationship. Sorry your partner isn't being constructive.
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    Not taking your medication was a mistake. I understand your anxiety, however was it worth putting yourself in this position? Get this sorted ASAP.

    In the meantime, try to find a psychologist or counsellor that you feel comfortable with. However, her approach is actually an approach many therapists equip. In my opinion she is just trying to analyse the situation to best help you, she isn't doing anything maliciously. Counselling and therapy is difficult, it's not going to be easy.
    Nevertheless, you should always feel comfortable and have a positive relationship with the professional, so if you don't you may want to consider finding someone else.

    Good luck and I hope you feel better soon x
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    Get a new counsellor and complain about old one :borat:
 
 
 
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