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Entitled flatmate is pissing me off - what to do? watch

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    Moved in recently, I replaced another guy who lives here so didn't know the flatmates that well.

    The day I move in, the girl who lives here tells me that she hates the other guy, that he won't pull his weight in the flat, left a stain she ended up cleaning because he never got around to it, used some of her food and then lied about it, etc. I didn't know either of em before I moved in, nor did I want to gang up, so while we girls get on I decided to see for myself if that was true or not.

    Well.. turns out unfortunately theres some truth in what she said. For example we agreed on different responsibilities like its his job to top up the electricity on the meter, but he's forgotten to do this a few times so I've had to because it went out. (He works all day so it affects us more than him). He also does things like ask me to knock on his door to let me know when Im finished in the toilet (his room is just down the corridor FFS).

    The other girl is away for a few weeks so I'm not sure if we should both talk about it with him then. I also don't want to gossip or gang up on him but at the same time he is incredibly entitled and it pisses me off TBH.

    Advice TSR? Should I speak to him now before she gets back?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    For example we agreed on different responsibilities like its his job to top up the electricity on the meter, but he's forgotten to do this a few times so I've had to because it went out.
    I can see your point here, this would annoy a fair few people.

    (He works all day so it affects us more than him). He also does things like ask me to knock on his door to let me know when Im finished in the toilet (his room is just down the corridor FFS).
    now you're just being petty.
    Asking you to give him a shout/knock when you've finished in the bathroom so he can use it is not unreasonable behavior.
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    I can see your point here, this would annoy a fair few people.

    now you're just being petty.
    Asking you to give him a shout/knock when you've finished in the bathroom so he can use it is not unreasonable behavior.
    Thanks, why though? It's a small place so he can hear everything. Plus we all have different schedules so don't usually need to use the bathroom at the same time, but about 3 times in the past few weeks he's suddenly needed to use it when I do. I've literally been in the toilet for like 5 minutes and hes knocked and been demanding. The other girl is in far more often and we've never had this problem either.

    For the electricity thing, he does drag his feet yeah. We've offered to swap chores with him but he says he's fine with it then kicks up a fuss, like last night he called me because he was outside and didn't want to come upstairs to pick up the top up key, so I had to bring it down for him :rolleyes:

    I also came into the kitchen this morning and its a state, burned spaghetti and veggies on the cooker and residue in the sink. And there's toothpaste and saliva on the toilet seat in the bathroom with the light left on. Im honestly not *****y but I think the other girl (who is away at the moment) has a point. I'm not sure if he's being passive aggressive or how to deal w it?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks, why though? It's a small place so he can hear everything. Plus we all have different schedules so don't usually need to use the bathroom at the same time, but about 3 times in the past few weeks he's suddenly needed to use it when I do. I've literally been in the toilet for like 5 minutes and hes knocked and been demanding. The other girl is in far more often and we've never had this problem either.

    For the electricity thing, he does drag his feet yeah. We've offered to swap chores with him but he says he's fine with it then kicks up a fuss, like last night he called me because he was outside and didn't want to come upstairs to pick up the top up key, so I had to bring it down for him :rolleyes:

    I also came into the kitchen this morning and its a state, burned spaghetti and veggies on the cooker and residue in the sink. And there's toothpaste and saliva on the toilet seat in the bathroom with the light left on. Im honestly not *****y but I think the other girl (who is away at the moment) has a point. I'm not sure if he's being passive aggressive or how to deal w it?

    Back when I was living with my parents in total there was 5 people living there and we had 1 bathroom. It was not uncommon at all for me to go to the bathroom and find someone was already in there, or for other people to find someone else in there when they needed the loo or something. When this happens and someone is in there you can either stay outside and wait ....or go back to your room or perhaps the living room. If you have the TV or radio on or are just not paying that much attention or the person slips out of the bathroom without making much noise ..by time you realise the bathroom is free and return sometimes what happens is that another family member has decided to use it in the short amount of time that it was free and you now left waiting AGAIN to use the bathroom. You'd be surprised how much this happens.

    Now, if after knocking on the door to the bathroom you ask the person to call you once they've finished, this sort of protects somewhat against another member of the family coming along later and slipping in there before you.

    Also sometimes if you are in a hurry to use the bathroom ..you really do not want to accidentally miss the other person vacating it, so it helps with this as well.

    no one in my household had a problem with calling others once they finished [if they requested it]

    also it may be coincidence that he keeps wanting to use it as soon as you've gone in. I can remember once that for a period it seemed like each time I went to use the bathroom my dad would suddenly want to use it and be nagging me to hurry up .....and I remember for a period as well there was a time where each time I went to use the bathroom he was already in there, or I was walking to the bathroom and suddenly he's happen to enter it before me. Sometimes it just happens like that.

    there were times however that I was wanting to use the bathroom but too lazy to get up, then i've heard someone else go in there ...then this has prompted me to go to the bathroom and ask them to hurry up ...and i'm sure there were times when other people were too lazy to use the bathroom but needed to go and upon hearing me go in there ...it has kicked them into action.

    Also during the mornings [when everyone had not washed/showered yet] I noticed that if I was too slow from getting from my room to the bathroom,often someone whose room was closer to the bathroom would hear that I was active and quickly decide to jump in the bathroom so they could get washed first and didn't have to wait for me. My room was in the loft [loft conversion] and I had to come down a flight of stairs and it REALLY annoyed me when people would hear me coming and decide to rush in there. In the mornings I started to get out of bed with as little sound as possible, and quickly open the door and quickly get down the stairs to cut down on people pre empting me like this.

    so yes, there are a range of possible reasons of him appearing as soon as you appear.


    I think him asking you to get his stuff because he can't be bothered to come in is just being lazy. It reminds me of some stories I heard years ago [when lots of TV's still didn't have remotes] of my friends mum lying upstairs and watching TV, and calling my friend [who is downstairs], and when the boy comes upstairs to see what she wants she asks him to change the channel.

    I suggest you just tell your housemate to just do it himself.

    as for the kitchen being a state that isn't so unusual [but yes, annoying none the less] when I was going round looking at places to rent I noticed that generally males were far more messy than females. some places I viewed were worst than what you described, AND they knew I was coming ...so you can imagine what it would be like if they're wern't expecting guests.

    I suggest you and your other house mates all approach him at the same time as a united front and ask him to be more considerate. He's more likely to take heed if more than one person has expressed their feelings on the matter
 
 
 
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