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4 dates and no kiss? Is he not interested? Watch

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    Hey guys,

    I met a guy online and we've been out four times, arranged a fifth, and we very much enjoy each other's company. He has told me that now he is looking for something more meaningful (a relationship) and hence joined online dating. He always makes the effort to arrange things and constantly tells me he enjoys my company. I don't know what direction we are going in. After the third date, I was honest and text him saying that 3 meetings is enough to gage whether you like that person more than a friend, and I thought screw it and told him I liked him. He told me that he enjoys my company but I was hoping he would say that he was physically attracted to me (I think 3 meetings is enough to gage whether you are attracted to someone), however he just said he enjoys my company. I was worried that me declaring that I liked him would make things awkward, but it never and he appreciated my honesty. He mentioned a previous girl who he got on brilliantly with, however he didn't feel any romantic chemistry with her and just wanted to be friends (she took this badly and basically cut him off). However, I explicitly asked him if he only envisaged us as being friends, and that I would not react badly if he thought that. He never really answered the question and I don't know if that is good or bad - he merely reinforced that he enjoys my company and likes spending time with me, and he wouldn't lie because he knows I am an honest person and I can handle the truth. A couple of weeks ago we were a little flirty over text and he basically said he could envisage a sexual scenario with me, but again I don't know if this indicates that he likes me or not (as surely you wouldn't want to pork someone you only envisage as a friend). Equally, after every date, he only hugs me, and he doesn't strike me as an overly shy guy so I'm not sure why he hasn't gone in for a kiss(not implying a guy should, I just think this would reinforce to me that he does in fact like me). It doesn't bother me but I have noticed that he is still online dating, and I guess it crossed my mind that maybe he could be weighing up his options since when we started talking he said he had literally been online for a week.

    What do you think? I don't think I can bring it up again since I was honest and never got the direct answers I hoped for. I'm also not terribly experienced when it comes to this.
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    (Original post by tornbeyondreason)
    Hey guys,

    I met a guy online and we've been out four times, arranged a fifth, and we very much enjoy each other's company. He has told me that now he is looking for something more meaningful (a relationship) and hence joined online dating. He always makes the effort to arrange things and constantly tells me he enjoys my company. I don't know what direction we are going in. After the third date, I was honest and text him saying that 3 meetings is enough to gage whether you like that person more than a friend, and I thought screw it and told him I liked him. He told me that he enjoys my company but I was hoping he would say that he was physically attracted to me (I think 3 meetings is enough to gage whether you are attracted to someone), however he just said he enjoys my company. I was worried that me declaring that I liked him would make things awkward, but it never and he appreciated my honesty. He mentioned a previous girl who he got on brilliantly with, however he didn't feel any romantic chemistry with her and just wanted to be friends (she took this badly and basically cut him off). However, I explicitly asked him if he only envisaged us as being friends, and that I would not react badly if he thought that. He never really answered the question and I don't know if that is good or bad - he merely reinforced that he enjoys my company and likes spending time with me, and he wouldn't lie because he knows I am an honest person and I can handle the truth. A couple of weeks ago we were a little flirty over text and he basically said he could envisage a sexual scenario with me, but again I don't know if this indicates that he likes me or not (as surely you wouldn't want to pork someone you only envisage as a friend). Equally, after every date, he only hugs me, and he doesn't strike me as an overly shy guy so I'm not sure why he hasn't gone in for a kiss(not implying a guy should, I just think this would reinforce to me that he does in fact like me). It doesn't bother me but I have noticed that he is still online dating, and I guess it crossed my mind that maybe he could be weighing up his options since when we started talking he said he had literally been online for a week.

    What do you think? I don't think I can bring it up again since I was honest and never got the direct answers I hoped for. I'm also not terribly experienced when it comes to this.
    To me it seems like he's still thinking about it. The fact that he hasn't explicitly said anything could be a good thing because I think guys are pretty straightforward if they don't like you back they'll friendzone you (politely.) Since he's looking for something serious, he doesn't want to go straight in for a kiss/ getting to physical since he does not want the relationship to be based on lust. (It is still early on). Catching feelings for guys takes time, getting physical doesn't, so he clearly respects you and wants something that will last in the long term. I think you are on the right track.
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    The fact that he's gone on 4 dates with you shows that he's interested to a certain extent
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    Maybe you should make the first move.
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    Maybe he just doesn't want to make the first move? in my experience a lot of guys are scared to make the first move. As other posters have said he wants to keep seeing you which must indicate he's interested to some extent maybe it's worth asking if you're going on "dates" as such? you could try making the first move even if it's just trying to hold his hand or kiss.

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    (Original post by tornbeyondreason)
    Hey guys,

    I met a guy online and we've been out four times, arranged a fifth, and we very much enjoy each other's company. He has told me that now he is looking for something more meaningful (a relationship) and hence joined online dating. He always makes the effort to arrange things and constantly tells me he enjoys my company. I don't know what direction we are going in. After the third date, I was honest and text him saying that 3 meetings is enough to gage whether you like that person more than a friend, and I thought screw it and told him I liked him. He told me that he enjoys my company but I was hoping he would say that he was physically attracted to me (I think 3 meetings is enough to gage whether you are attracted to someone), however he just said he enjoys my company. I was worried that me declaring that I liked him would make things awkward, but it never and he appreciated my honesty. He mentioned a previous girl who he got on brilliantly with, however he didn't feel any romantic chemistry with her and just wanted to be friends (she took this badly and basically cut him off). However, I explicitly asked him if he only envisaged us as being friends, and that I would not react badly if he thought that. He never really answered the question and I don't know if that is good or bad - he merely reinforced that he enjoys my company and likes spending time with me, and he wouldn't lie because he knows I am an honest person and I can handle the truth. A couple of weeks ago we were a little flirty over text and he basically said he could envisage a sexual scenario with me, but again I don't know if this indicates that he likes me or not (as surely you wouldn't want to pork someone you only envisage as a friend). Equally, after every date, he only hugs me, and he doesn't strike me as an overly shy guy so I'm not sure why he hasn't gone in for a kiss(not implying a guy should, I just think this would reinforce to me that he does in fact like me). It doesn't bother me but I have noticed that he is still online dating, and I guess it crossed my mind that maybe he could be weighing up his options since when we started talking he said he had literally been online for a week.

    What do you think? I don't think I can bring it up again since I was honest and never got the direct answers I hoped for. I'm also not terribly experienced when it comes to this.
    He strikes me as either shy, reserved or very inexperienced. He might not know what's next? You might be creating the situation where he sees it just as friendship, when ofc you want more.

    Options:

    1. Tell him you like him and can see there is a chance for a relationship. You werent quite sure what was happening.
    2. Kiss him.
    3. Just talk to him, but pin him down to what he thinks, instead of letting him avoid.
    4. Mention or do actions that show you are considering dating other people and see if he is at all bothered.

    As i said brain dead, clueless, inexperience or shy.
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    (Original post by Yaboi)
    Maybe you should make the first move.
    true loooooooooool
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    (Original post by tornbeyondreason)
    Hey guys,

    I met a guy online and we've been out four times, arranged a fifth, and we very much enjoy each other's company. He has told me that now he is looking for something more meaningful (a relationship) and hence joined online dating. He always makes the effort to arrange things and constantly tells me he enjoys my company. I don't know what direction we are going in. After the third date, I was honest and text him saying that 3 meetings is enough to gage whether you like that person more than a friend, and I thought screw it and told him I liked him. He told me that he enjoys my company but I was hoping he would say that he was physically attracted to me (I think 3 meetings is enough to gage whether you are attracted to someone), however he just said he enjoys my company. I was worried that me declaring that I liked him would make things awkward, but it never and he appreciated my honesty. He mentioned a previous girl who he got on brilliantly with, however he didn't feel any romantic chemistry with her and just wanted to be friends (she took this badly and basically cut him off). However, I explicitly asked him if he only envisaged us as being friends, and that I would not react badly if he thought that. He never really answered the question and I don't know if that is good or bad - he merely reinforced that he enjoys my company and likes spending time with me, and he wouldn't lie because he knows I am an honest person and I can handle the truth. A couple of weeks ago we were a little flirty over text and he basically said he could envisage a sexual scenario with me, but again I don't know if this indicates that he likes me or not (as surely you wouldn't want to pork someone you only envisage as a friend). Equally, after every date, he only hugs me, and he doesn't strike me as an overly shy guy so I'm not sure why he hasn't gone in for a kiss(not implying a guy should, I just think this would reinforce to me that he does in fact like me). It doesn't bother me but I have noticed that he is still online dating, and I guess it crossed my mind that maybe he could be weighing up his options since when we started talking he said he had literally been online for a week.

    What do you think? I don't think I can bring it up again since I was honest and never got the direct answers I hoped for. I'm also not terribly experienced when it comes to this.
    if u dont mind me asking loool

    what dating site are u using aha
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    He's trying to decide whether he does want to pursue it further whilst trying to protect your feelings
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    A lot of guys don't want to make the first move any more. I won't address the exact circumstances but in essence a lot haven't a clue how to approach women and even less so how to make the first move.

    You should make the first move. If he says 'no' then you have your answer, and tbh blokes are a lot more forgiving about girls trying it on when they don't like them than vice versa.
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    (Original post by fefssdf)
    He's trying to decide whether he does want to pursue it further whilst trying to protect your feelings
    nice answer lol
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    (Original post by atsushimurasak)
    nice answer lol
    Thanks babe
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    May just be shy. Easily investigated, next date, at the end or some other appropriate point say, 'are you going to kiss me'
    • #1
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    Hi,

    I think this guy needs more time to decide whether he wants anything more serious with you. He might just be that type of person in general, so if you really do like this guy, then you should be patient. He seems like a good one, but then again he could be gay or something. Who knows?

    I know this may seem rude, but you don't seem very serious about this guy with the way you are presenting this scenario. Even if he did give confirmation of feeling physical/sexual attraction towards to you by either telling you or showing you, it doesn't necessarily mean he sees you as a serious partner. Therefore, I think it is a good thing he isn't messing you about like that unless if that's what you want. If so, this guy is not the one for that.
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    He probably wants to but doesn't know how to do it. I think Zarek has the best advice with asking him at a suitable moment, "are you going to kiss me?"
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    Give him a hint :P
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    3. Just talk to him, but pin him down
    :hubba:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    I think this guy needs more time to decide whether he wants anything more serious with you. He might just be that type of person in general, so if you really do like this guy, then you should be patient. He seems like a good one, but then again he could be gay or something. Who knows?

    I know this may seem rude, but you don't seem very serious about this guy with the way you are presenting this scenario. Even if he did give confirmation of feeling physical/sexual attraction towards to you by either telling you or showing you, it doesn't necessarily mean he sees you as a serious partner. Therefore, I think it is a good thing he isn't messing you about like that unless if that's what you want. If so, this guy is not the one for that.
    he may well be gay lol
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    (Original post by HollyGeordie)
    Give him a hint :P
    lol not sure that would work as she has already tried that aha

    and btw yr very cute
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    a lot of men are worried about being accused of goodness knows what... you need to say to him "i don't mind if you do...." then give like a list of activities ?
 
 
 
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