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Not myself recently watch

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    My parents keep telling me to study but I feel like I don't care anymore I just don't have it in me anymore.I used to want to become a doctor and want to get A*'s and now I just feel like there is nothing in me to make me want to do anything because it my mind I feel like no matter what I do nothing will change I feel like I am stupid no matter what.I know this is not a good mindset but I am tired of disappointment and being rejected by academic establishments because it hurts when you waste hours of your life studying yet it is never good enough.They write sorry in their letters of rejection they are not sorry they don't know what it feels like when you give it your all you waste weeks and weeks revising yet it is not good enough for them.I just want someone to tell me something so I can relit that fire in me to want to do something.Recently I just want to go back to childhood activities anything that does not remind me of school and provides comfort because I don't want to think about it as it just upsets me.I know I will have to grow up but I feel like I don't want to because this grown up world is not nurturing but hostile.I know I am perhaps a ridiculous person but I need words of comfort i have not studied for over a month now and this is getting a bit excessive I gave myself time to relax but now it is idleness.
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