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    Basically my friend wants to do well out of A levels but their time either consists of college (doing the bare minimum), work (like 16 hours a week), or going out with friends. They don't do homework, they don't revise and they haven't completed any aspect of their coursework.

    I have tried to encourage them to revise and put in a bit more work and have said to them I refuse to spend time with them unless they revise (tough love sort of strategy) but they're not getting the message. I entirely understand that it's not my responsibility but if I can do something to help I would like to try.

    Any suggestions?
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    (Original post by emmepemme1999)
    Basically my friend wants to do well out of A levels but their time either consists of college (doing the bare minimum), work (like 16 hours a week), or going out with friends. They don't do homework, they don't revise and they haven't completed any aspect of their coursework.

    I have tried to encourage them to revise and put in a bit more work and have said to them I refuse to spend time with them unless they revise (tough love sort of strategy) but they're not getting the message. I entirely understand that it's not my responsibility but if I can do something to help I would like to try.

    Any suggestions?
    I have a friend like that too; she doesn't work, and she attends a proper Sixth Form, but she used to not be able to be bothered with schoolwork and ended up not getting good grades. I always did exactly what you did, except the whole refusing to talk thing. She does do work, just nothing extra, and we're in Year 13 so extra revision is crucial. Recently, an event occurred which completely changed her work ethic, and after talking to me about it, she vowed to work her socks off. I completely get that because it's your friend, you don't want to be too mean, but sometimes, a reality check is exactly what they need, but in the nicest way possible. You could suggest that you work together, if it is okay for you to work together, or whether you feel that you might be distracted by your friend. You do need to say a few things to your friend, because even though it may initially seem unjustified for you to say such things to your friend, your friend will soon realise that you are saying everything for his/her own good. You try your hardest, as much as possible, without jeopardising your studies. Very soon, something will happen to make he/she turn themselves round (karma I suppose), you just have to wait for the message to be directly delivered to them - I know this sounds spiteful, but that's the way it has to be.
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    (Original post by sue99)
    I have a friend like that too; she doesn't work, and she attends a proper Sixth Form, but she used to not be able to be bothered with schoolwork and ended up not getting good grades. I always did exactly what you did, except the whole refusing to talk thing. She does do work, just nothing extra, and we're in Year 13 so extra revision is crucial. Recently, an event occurred which completely changed her work ethic, and after talking to me about it, she vowed to work her socks off. I completely get that because it's your friend, you don't want to be too mean, but sometimes, a reality check is exactly what they need, but in the nicest way possible. You could suggest that you work together, if it is okay for you to work together, or whether you feel that you might be distracted by your friend. You do need to say a few things to your friend, because even though it may initially seem unjustified for you to say such things to your friend, your friend will soon realise that you are saying everything for his/her own good. You try your hardest, as much as possible, without jeopardising your studies. Very soon, something will happen to make he/she turn themselves round (karma I suppose), you just have to wait for the message to be directly delivered to them - I know this sounds spiteful, but that's the way it has to be.
    I completely agree with you that they need a reality check or a culture shock because we are in year 13 too. The worst part about it is, is they're so adamant on getting an apprenticeship but they aren't working to get it. I've said we should revise together and they complain and say "but that's so boring" and unfortunately I am not the most patient person when it comes to people who want to do well but refuse to put in the effort because I am not sacrificing my grades for theirs. Even when they get bad grades they do nothing about it. You're totally right they need the culture shock and I am glad someone agrees with me so thank you for putting my mind at rest!!
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    (Original post by emmepemme1999)
    I completely agree with you that they need a reality check or a culture shock because we are in year 13 too. The worst part about it is, is they're so adamant on getting an apprenticeship but they aren't working to get it. I've said we should revise together and they complain and say "but that's so boring" and unfortunately I am not the most patient person when it comes to people who want to do well but refuse to put in the effort because I am not sacrificing my grades for theirs. Even when they get bad grades they do nothing about it. You're totally right they need the culture shock and I am glad someone agrees with me so thank you for putting my mind at rest!!
    With my friend, there's only so much that I can do, because I moved to another Sixth Form, while she stayed at the same one. I definitely want her to do well, but even if we do as much as possible to encourage/motivate/help, the friend has to motivate himself/herself, otherwise the will and the want to do well is not going to be there. It's really no problem, but I am very glad I have put your mind at rest, and I hope your friend gives himself/herself the kick up the backside that he/she needs very soon! Good luck with it all
 
 
 

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