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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I still don't really know why I was that shy and now I don't really understand how I could be, it's a shame because now I actually find it very hard to talk to shy people... I think for me it was mainly insecurities about personality, but everyone is different.

    Yes, I definitely recommend a gap year! Especially if you do something interesting. I'm not sure I'd recommend it if you're just going to stay in the place you grew up and work/do nothing for the whole year. I personally worked abroad for the year. It pushed me really out of my comfort zone I guess, and cost me nothing. I think it'd be cool also to maybe work at home for 6/7 months to save money then go travelling. OR a ski/snowboard season costs nothing either, you break even. My friend even saved a grand doing it then went travelling. There's lots of possibilities I would 100% always recommend a gap year, especially if you feel like you need to grow in a certain way before university. Honestly I think my life would be so different (for the worse) if I had started uni straight after school.
    Thanks for your reply and for posting your story! Really really encourages me! It's tough being shy, feels very restraining! Want to talk to people and everything but it's like something stopping me. Me too, think maybe I'm boring or annoying to people.
    I do think a gap year could be what I need to give me time to gain confidence.
    I'll only be 17 if I go to university this year as well ( Scottish system is we leave school at 17 ) and I feel like I may struggle there since I've never had a job or anything, barely been away from home and I'll be moving out, it's a big deal.
    I've been told about a lot of opportunities in a gap year, I'm aware of one where I can work in France in the heritage sector! Accommodation is given and everything.
    But I'd have to defer entry to university, did you defer or reapply?
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    (Original post by #_#)
    This happened to me in over the summer holidays when I finally left high school after five years of bullying!
    Thing that sucked though was that my friend told me I ruined our friendship dynamic now....which was quite rude because we were only "good friends" when I was the one that was bullied by the whole year and was really quiet. Now that I can speak up for myself and don't tolerate the constant digs and all, (even from our friendship group), we're not that close anymore. I do try to be friends with everyone of them, but its awkward now for some reason because I'm confident now and can talk to people in sixth form.
    Last year in highschool, they all told me I'll struggle in sixth form and that I would have no friends and all. Now, I have the most friends and they all have made none, except each other or my friends that I introduced to them (who they aren't really friends with at all) And one of them even told me that they were really jealous and all at how much I've grown. So yeah....they did try to put me down and say that I was neglecting them and not being friends with them wen really, and they did admit, that they were jealous at me progressing and now being better than them.
    It's great to be proud of what you have overcome, and it sounds like you're doing wonderfully... but don't get into the habit of thinking you are better than others
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's great to be proud of what you have overcome, and it sounds like you're doing wonderfully... but don't get into the habit of thinking you are better than others
    Hey!
    Thank you. And no, of course not! I don't think I'm better than anyone else. I can see where that may have come from. Okay, so they literally sat me down and told me off basically, because they thought that I was doing better than them. I should have rephrased that!
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    I haven't changed at all. Still don't want kids and even cut tirs with few of any family who like to big It Up with professionnal rugby players and farmers I have no Time for them anymore. I am left handed now though!
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    (Original post by Shadow Hunters)
    Thanks for your reply and for posting your story! Really really encourages me! It's tough being shy, feels very restraining! Want to talk to people and everything but it's like something stopping me. Me too, think maybe I'm boring or annoying to people.
    I do think a gap year could be what I need to give me time to gain confidence.
    I'll only be 17 if I go to university this year as well ( Scottish system is we leave school at 17 ) and I feel like I may struggle there since I've never had a job or anything, barely been away from home and I'll be moving out, it's a big deal.
    I've been told about a lot of opportunities in a gap year, I'm aware of one where I can work in France in the heritage sector! Accommodation is given and everything.
    But I'd have to defer entry to university, did you defer or reapply?
    You sound exactly like I was

    I think then yes, especially if you'll be 17, you should do a gap year if you are really thinking about it. What would you be doing in the heritage sector? That sounds cool, and you'd be able to learn/improve French which is great.

    I never applied while I was at school. I knew I wanted to go to uni but I also knew I was going to do a gap year, so I didn't see much point in applying, especially as I wasn't 100% sure on what I wanted to do. So I applied on my gap year. Also meant I'd already have my grades when I applied so it's not like the unis would give me conditional offers and I could see which ones would accept me already, rather than relying on my teachers accurately predicting my grade.
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    I've still got the same old creeps following me about. Some girl who had a scholarship to the RAF then had a child instead And left It And her sister who tourned into a hippie after having 2 miscarriages. Also had a scholarship into The RAF. Both loud moûts who in future I expect Will go on to be murdered by any self respecting person after saying something to The wrong person...
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    (Original post by #_#)
    Hey!
    Thank you. And no, of course not! I don't think I'm better than anyone else. I can see where that may have come from. Okay, so they literally sat me down and told me off basically, because they thought that I was doing better than them. I should have rephrased that!
    Tbh they sound like toxic friends. Real friends support you and are happy for you when you're doing well.
    Seems like they liked it when you were being pushed around because it made them feel better about themselves but now you've stopped that happening and are making good changes to your life they're jealous.
    I'd stay friends with them at school to avoid drama but maybe distance yourself and remember they aren't good friends, then forget about them when you leave school.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Tbh they sound like toxic friends. Real friends support you and are happy for you when you're doing well.
    Seems like they liked it when you were being pushed around because it made them feel better about themselves but now you've stopped that happening and are making good changes to your life they're jealous.
    I'd stay friends with them at school to avoid drama but maybe distance yourself and remember they aren't good friends, then forget about them when you leave school.
    That's my thought exactly. I'm trying to stay friends because the LAST thing I need in sixth form is more drama. See, if they weren't in my form or chemistry class, I wouldn't have to see them anymore but since they are, i'm keeping it nice and polite because it wasn't me who wanted animosity or to break ties.

    You totally understand me then. x :hugs: That's good advice. Thank you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You do have to make it happen though, you can't just be passive, but a change of scenery is always helpful.
    Yeah, I appreciate that. I'm taking a gap year too so I think putting myself out there and getting out of my comfort zone is going to change me quite a lot.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You sound exactly like I was

    I think then yes, especially if you'll be 17, you should do a gap year if you are really thinking about it. What would you be doing in the heritage sector? That sounds cool, and you'd be able to learn/improve French which is great.

    I never applied while I was at school. I knew I wanted to go to uni but I also knew I was going to do a gap year, so I didn't see much point in applying, especially as I wasn't 100% sure on what I wanted to do. So I applied on my gap year. Also meant I'd already have my grades when I applied so it's not like the unis would give me conditional offers and I could see which ones would accept me already, rather than relying on my teachers accurately predicting my grade.
    You show people around a WW1 cemetery/memorial telling them about the history and all that! Not everyone's cup of tea but apparently it's very competitive. And yes I really want to learn another language! But I'd have to wait till next summer to do that bc you have to be 18 to do it. I'm definitely going to look into volunteering opportunities abroad, id especially like to go to Ireland randomly. I know it's not far aha but it's a friendly place and it wouldn't be too much of a stretch with language issues. Where did you go?

    Yeah a lot of teacher predictions are above what people can get. Although I don't really want to go through the application process again so id probably just ask to defer if I got an offer and made the conditions.

    It's great to see a positive story like this, thanks for posting!
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    Mo money mo problems
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was just looking back through old pics on facebook from my school days and it kind of hit me like a ton of bricks and I had a mini freak out. Throughout my whole school life I was always the quiet one who never spoke. I didn't have many friends because I was so shy. Right up until the end of 6th form. I really don't know what happened but as soon as I left school and went on a gap year and I decided, I guess, to not be that way any more, it was such a hindrance. I used to be SO insecure about my personality, that's why I didn't speak. I used to wish every day I was normal and the "Why are you so quiet?" question was something I faced (and hated) all the time!
    Now I'm almost finished university and I am really confident, I do still feel awkward or nervous sometimes but that's normal (and no one knows unless I tell them). My best friend even says she envies me for how confident I am and I don't worry about speaking to anyone and social situations don't faze me (baring in mind she was a "popular girl" at school, complete opposite to me!). I never even thought about it before, how different I am, but seeing those pictures of the little mouse I used to be really brought it home. I'm the person my former self wished she could be but never thought she could. It's so so crazy.
    I don't see anyone from school ever (like I said I didn't have many friends) but I wonder what they would think if I bumped into them, if they even remembered me at all.

    Sorry I don't know if this post will be of interest to anyone I just kind of freaked out after looking at my pictures. Weird feeling.
    Very similar to me- almost identical to be fair.
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    I used to be exactly the same and now much more confident, outgoing and outspoken. I definitely wasted too much time being shy and insecure, and I still have the odd moment where I revert back but yeah, I'm different too now.
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    It's natural I think. Two years ago I practically hated who I was, failing school and heading nowhere. Now, I am on my way to University in September. One or two things have changed the way I set my mind and aspirations but they have been for the better.
 
 
 
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