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Staying friends with an ex Watch

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    The new year always sparks some thought but lately I've been thinking, is it even possible to be friends with an ex? It's just something I think about especially when friends are often conflicted with staying friends with an ex or not.

    My own experience of it has been a disaster. Me and my ex split in April after a nice run of over two years and it wasn't a good break up at all. I'm a nice person so I did end up staying friends with him only for me to want him again and for him to keep pestering me for another run even though he is the one who dumped me. He became dependent on my friendship and would try to make me jealous when he began dating other girls. I did block him several times before unblocking and finding phone calls and voice mails and friend requests on Facebook and I told him to move on and forget me. Since November he's not bothered me and luckily he can't.

    But is there ever a possibility for exes to stay friends or is it a no no?
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    UWS


    What's your take on this?
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    It's healthy to cut all contact with them imo, that way you can both move on.
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    (Original post by Rhythmical)
    UWS
    What your take on this?
    I don't have an ex smh...

    I don't think there's anything 'wrong' as such (it can work for some people) but it's the people who stay friends with exes and the complain that they're seeing another person for example that really gets on my nerves. To fully move on you do need to cut contact, it's all part of the recovery process. Staying friends means you still have some interaction with them and that's only going to make you want them more. If you stay friends, be prepared to live with your ex seeing other people or having sex, that's something you will have to deal with. I personally wouldn't stay friends with exes and I don't see any point unless I wanted to cling onto hope that we'll get back together again. Then again there's a reason why it never worked out in the first place....
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    (Original post by Mistletoe)
    It's healthy to cut all contact with them imo, that way you can both move on.
    I agree with that, although it's hard to resist that temptation I suppose.
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    (Original post by UWS)
    I don't have an ex smh...

    I don't think there's anything 'wrong' as such (it can work for some people) but it's the people who stay friends with exes and the complain that they're seeing another person for example that really gets on my nerves. To fully move on you do need to cut contact, it's all part of the recovery process. Staying friends means you still have some interaction with them and that's only going to make you want them more. If you stay friends, be prepared to live with your ex seeing other people or having sex, that's something you will have to deal with. I personally wouldn't stay friends with exes and I don't see any point unless I wanted to cling onto hope that we'll get back together again. Then again there's a reason why it never worked out in the first place....
    Lol I know you don't

    I agree with your points, it depends on how you parted, but if you split up there's a reason why you aren't together so being friends means feelings resurface when you don't want them to.
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    I can't stay friends with an ex, there is too much jealousy and resentment, better cutting them off. Out of sight, out of mind.
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    Depends really. I think if it's an amicable breakup things can work out as friends, and usually over time people do end up reconnecting in some way once emotions have died down.

    For me personally I'd be open to it, but I wouldn't be interested in my previous two ex's. They're just not people I'd want to keep in my life.
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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    Depends really. I think if it's an amicable breakup things can work out as friends, and usually over time people do end up reconnecting in some way once emotions have died down.

    For me personally I'd be open to it, but I wouldn't be interested in my previous two ex's. They're just not people I'd want to keep in my life.
    I get that, naturally things fizzle out or if you end up on good terms then it can work out to be friends, although I'd hate for them to become dependent on me if we do break up.
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    iv stayed friends with someone who was no strings. that worked out fine
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    It's best to part ways imo. I suppose it may be possible following some time apart which would give you both a chance to move on. I don't think it is possible to go straight from being in a relationship to being friends. Feelings linger and there are it is bound to cause pain.
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    As soon as someone becomes my ex, they are BLOCKED on everything. :lol:
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    (Original post by Rhythmical)
    I get that, naturally things fizzle out or if you end up on good terms then it can work out to be friends, although I'd hate for them to become dependent on me if we do break up.
    It works for some, doesn't work for others. It also depends on the time spent with one another; I'd imagine it's more difficult to be "just friends" if you spent 10+ years with someone as opposed to say, a year or two.

    Then again, you also have people that get back with one another after having broken up and then subsequently been friends for many years.

    The beauty of relationships is that, truly, you just never know.
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    I can't stay friends with my exes; it just turns into a passive-aggressive battle of 'Look how much better I am without you in my life'. Prefer not to deal with that in all honesty; maybe it's just cause we're both childish and I've never had a relationship where it ended amicably.
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    (Original post by LeCroissant)
    As soon as someone becomes my ex, they are BLOCKED on everything. :lol:
    Savage, have you ever bumped into them in the real world after breaking up?
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      (Original post by Rhythmical)
      The new year always sparks some thought but lately I've been thinking, is it even possible to be friends with an ex? It's just something I think about especially when friends are often conflicted with staying friends with an ex or not.

      My own experience of it has been a disaster. Me and my ex split in April after a nice run of over two years and it wasn't a good break up at all. I'm a nice person so I did end up staying friends with him only for me to want him again and for him to keep pestering me for another run even though he is the one who dumped me. He became dependent on my friendship and would try to make me jealous when he began dating other girls. I did block him several times before unblocking and finding phone calls and voice mails and friend requests on Facebook and I told him to move on and forget me. Since November he's not bothered me and luckily he can't.

      But is there ever a possibility for exes to stay friends or is it a no no?
      My most recent partner and I are still best friends. That being said, there wasn't a big huge issue that broke us up - she just said she couldn't do it any more because reasons. We broke up in late October, I called NC for 30 days, and we're pretty much as we used to be now. Just without sex or talk of that nature.

      It is difficult? YES. I'm still upset by it. But I'm surviving, and I'm glad that she is too.

      But it entirely depends on why you broke up. From what I've seen you saying on here recently, it sounds like you had a harder time than your partner going 'I think I'm gay and I know my mind's a rat's nest and I need to be alone to figure it out.'

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      I'm sorry. I hope you can come through it :hugs:
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      (Original post by Rhythmical)
      Savage, have you ever bumped into them in the real world after breaking up?
      One of them was completely online so i've never had to bump into him, but I have seen the other one since and I've just not acknowledged his existence haha. To be fair, he was a d***. He would always reply with "bye" whenever I messaged him saying "hello" .
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      (Original post by Tootles)
      My most recent partner and I are still best friends. That being said, there wasn't a big huge issue that broke us up - she just said she couldn't do it any more because reasons. We broke up in late October, I called NC for 30 days, and we're pretty much as we used to be now. Just without sex or talk of that nature.

      It is difficult? YES. I'm still upset by it. But I'm surviving, and I'm glad that she is too.

      But it entirely depends on why you broke up. From what I've seen you saying on here recently, it sounds like you had a harder time than your partner going 'I think I'm gay and I know my mind's a rat's nest and I need to be alone to figure it out.'

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      I'm sorry. I hope you can come through it :hugs:


      Thanks, I hope I can, I'm not too bothered by it anymore but I guess significant dates always remind me of what we had and could have had, I don't think we should have stayed friends even if we wanted to, but I guess what bothers me is seeing him again as we live so close by, and could be studying in the same place for one year and I'm sorry to hear about your experience. I think my ex is secretly gay to be honest, he had a sexual experience before we dated and apparently during with a guy and he would always act like he was hiding something. Shame, as he would often berate me for being bisexual.
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        (Original post by Rhythmical)
        Thanks, I hope I can, I'm not too bothered by it anymore but I guess significant dates always remind me of what we had and could have had, I don't think we should have stayed friends even if we wanted to, but I guess what bothers me is seeing him again as we live so close by, and could be studying in the same place for one year and I'm sorry to hear about your experience. I think my ex is secretly gay to be honest, he had a sexual experience before we dated and apparently during with a guy and he would always act like he was hiding something. Shame, as he would often berate me for being bisexual.
        Sounds like he might be, from what you've said. In which case that would be why he got at you for being bi.

        :sigh: people are awful ain't they?
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        (Original post by Tootles)
        Sounds like he might be, from what you've said. In which case that would be why he got at you for being bi.

        :sigh:people are awful ain't they?
        That's cruel but I don't care tbh, he's gone, away for good. Yep they are hence why I don't want to date tbh anymore
       
       
       
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