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Boyfriend didn't get me anything for my birthday Watch

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    It's our first year together, been about 11 months. I got him nice things he liked for his birthday and we went on a weekend trip together. For my birthday.. nothing. No happy birthday text/message/call, he just called to say he's gonna be an hour late cause he didn't want to get the train, got his dad to drive him over instead. He's 33 by the way. Turned up empty handed. No flowers, card, plans for the day. My family and I took HIM out to dinner, he didn't pay any of it or say happy birthday at all for the day. I felt so let down! No acknowledgement from him at all. A while after my birthday I asked if anything was wrong, if there was a reason for no effort whatsoever on my day.. he said he didn't know what to get me and has offered to take me shopping for something. :/ It's not the same at all. It's now 2 weeks after my birthday and we've still not been :/ I put in so much effort for him and I feel this is a red flag if he can't return that effort for me! But he doesn't seem to care.

    P.s. he's got lots of time and has plenty of money. Even cheap tesco flowers would have been better than nothing at all.
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    He didn't say happy birthday or anything?? Did he know it was your birthday?
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    (Original post by Kholmes1)
    He didn't say happy birthday or anything?? Did he know it was your birthday?
    I know right!! He isn't one for showing much emotion but this isn't even 'getting in touch with his feelings', this is just common courtesy especially for a couple. Feeling like I shouldn't bother accepting his late offer to make me choose my own gift. He knew it was coming up, just didn't bother.
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    Happy birthday
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's our first year together, been about 11 months. I got him nice things he liked for his birthday and we went on a weekend trip together. For my birthday.. nothing. No happy birthday text/message/call, he just called to say he's gonna be an hour late cause he didn't want to get the train, got his dad to drive him over instead. He's 33 by the way. Turned up empty handed. No flowers, card, plans for the day. My family and I took HIM out to dinner, he didn't pay any of it or say happy birthday at all for the day. I felt so let down! No acknowledgement from him at all. A while after my birthday I asked if anything was wrong, if there was a reason for no effort whatsoever on my day.. he said he didn't know what to get me and has offered to take me shopping for something. :/ It's not the same at all. It's now 2 weeks after my birthday and we've still not been :/ I put in so much effort for him and I feel this is a red flag if he can't return that effort for me! But he doesn't seem to care.

    P.s. he's got lots of time and has plenty of money. Even cheap tesco flowers would have been better than nothing at all.
    Im sorry but that is the lamest excuse ever that he could not find something for you! he couldnt say a simple happy birthday either did he lose his tongue or hands to prevent him from saying it or texting/calling you? If i were you i would not put in any more effort until he does.
    What you doing with him girl? he seems like a taker and he will carry on taking from you and not giving anything back dont let him walk all over you. If i were you i would distance myself from hima nd if he asks whats up tell him you are pissed with him for putting no effort for your special day and how you are always there for him. Show him you won't be taken for granted or you are gone.
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    (Original post by Kholmes1)
    He didn't say happy birthday or anything?? Did he know it was your birthday?
    Didnt you used to be a sheep?
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    That's so sad... I don't want to be one of the "break up with him" people, but you could at least sit him down and ask where he pictures your relationship actually going. If he can't be bothered to celebrate your birthday now, what's it going to be like in the future?
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    Thank you. I'm glad I didn't come across too selfish for expecting him to at least say it :/ I called him (didn't mean to get all upset, just there had been other issues too with no-effort) saying I'm getting nothing positive from him, I'm always coming to see him and he's came to see me 3 times in the past half year which isn't good enough and puts in no effort while I'm at his. I told him if he doesn't step up I'm walking away. I'm giving it one month to see if he shapes up, but so far it's not looking likely.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    Didnt you used to be a sheep?
    Goat. But yes. Changed it this month. I only came back on this month. Was offline for a few months. Thought change would be good.
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    (Original post by chikane)
    Didnt you used to be a sheep?
    I think this is one of the first times I saw your post this year. (Only been 15 days.)

    Edit: Thats a lie actaully. I have seen a few of your posts> just checked.
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    No one says happy birthday to me, or buys me anything for my birthday, but idc.
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    (Original post by Carthaginian)
    No one says happy birthday to me, or buys me anything for my birthday, but idc.
    Unfortunate
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    (Original post by Kholmes1)
    I think this is one of the first times I saw your post this year. (Only been 15 days.)

    Edit: Thats a lie actaully. I have seen a few of your posts> just checked.
    Thought i haven't seen you around much here lately.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you. I'm glad I didn't come across too selfish for expecting him to at least say it :/ I called him (didn't mean to get all upset, just there had been other issues too with no-effort) saying I'm getting nothing positive from him, I'm always coming to see him and he's came to see me 3 times in the past half year which isn't good enough and puts in no effort while I'm at his. I told him if he doesn't step up I'm walking away. I'm giving it one month to see if he shapes up, but so far it's not looking likely.
    Well, it sounds to me like your minds already made up. And that's not a bad thing. Is there affection in your relationship? Like (not to sound too forward or anything) is it sexual, or is he not comfortable with that? If he's just using you, that's really unhealthy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you. I'm glad I didn't come across too selfish for expecting him to at least say it :/ I called him (didn't mean to get all upset, just there had been other issues too with no-effort) saying I'm getting nothing positive from him, I'm always coming to see him and he's came to see me 3 times in the past half year which isn't good enough and puts in no effort while I'm at his. I told him if he doesn't step up I'm walking away. I'm giving it one month to see if he shapes up, but so far it's not looking likely.
    It isn't selfish its your special day and he should have made an effort what with being your boyfriend. How far away do you live from him? He dosen't seem to be taking this relationship seriously so yes give him a month and if no change boot him out of your life. Can you imagine being married to someone so selfish.
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    I used to live in the same city but had to leave a few months ago. Not far, less than an hour by train. There are lots of good things about him, we have fun together, he's funny and affectionate, yes sex is good. But I've told him I need more than just fun, I want a serious relationship and he needs to show me this is going to go somewhere and put in more effort. Will see what happens when I see him in a few days. He blames having anxiety for a lot of things but I see no reason why he can use it for not getting a birthday present, with all the spare time he has.
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    The only reason I've stayed so long now is that he was here for me when I went through a difficult time months ago, emotional support, and helped me with my move. But since then I've been the only one putting in effort and that's been half a year now. I've told him loads of times but this really made me feel like it's over
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I used to live in the same city but had to leave a few months ago. Not far, less than an hour by train. There are lots of good things about him, we have fun together, he's funny and affectionate, yes sex is good. But I've told him I need more than just fun, I want a serious relationship and he needs to show me this is going to go somewhere and put in more effort. Will see what happens when I see him in a few days. He blames having anxiety for a lot of things but I see no reason why he can use it for not getting a birthday present, with all the spare time he has.
    I understand anxiety can stop people from doing a number of things, but I don't think it's so severe that he couldn't utter the words "happy birthday". Giving it time is good, but you don't want to put yourself through more trouble that needed. Relationships are a two way street, he needs to understand that.
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    I hate having to buy stuff for people's birthday but if you care about someone, it is an effort that has to be made. Sometimes you have got to do things that you don't want to do to make important people feel special. Not doing anything is a red flag. At least come up with something.
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    (Original post by Sternumator)
    I hate having to buy stuff for people's birthday but if you care about someone, it is an effort that has to be made. Sometimes you have got to do things that you don't want to do to make important people feel special. Not doing anything is a red flag. At least come up with something.
    I doubt its that he didnt buy her anything. Its more that he didnt really seem to care and he did nothing. They met up, and he didnt say happy birthday or anything. They paid for his meal. Its like he didnt even know it was her birthday.
 
 
 
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