I am a 1st year TV prod student and I am miserable.
I live in my own flat so I'm not in with other people. I don't drink so opportunities for nights out are limited (I get very panicky and anxious around drunk people). My nan was diagnosed with terminal cancer late last year so I spent most of my first term commuting from home, now my tutor (who keeps changing timings and sending students outside to wait because he's split the group in half and they have to hang around while the other group has the session) has decided I have to be there 9am tomorrow which means getting up ridiculously early to be there for 9 and my group will then have to hang around for two hours while the other two groups have their session. I have insomnia and rarely get to sleep before 3am so I'll barely have slept and in addition to this my stress is causing IBS and mood swings, which are way worse when I'm tired.
I am tearful most of the time, I have no energy or motivation for my studies and I don't want to go back, but I have nothing to do here at home other than play mindless video games. None of this feels worth it. My dad bought me a flat near the university because I can't share a kitchen with people (I suffer very badly with OCD and food intolerances) and now I don't want to go back and I feel extremely ungrateful but also pressured by both him and my mum to carry on with the course, even though I don't know whether I can or not. I am 21 and feel like a complete loser.
I have dropped out of a different university twice before.
basically, is any of this worth it? I'm lonely, isolated and miserable whether I'm at uni or at home.
depression has taken hold Watch
- Thread Starter
- 15-01-2017 21:34
- 15-01-2017 21:39
Im the same
But im in college
Im not as bad as u but Im not really depressed
Im more stressed tho
I feel like **** 90% of the time .