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Your opinion on the silent treatment? Watch

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    So I'm currently 30hours into the silent treatment from my girlfriend. It is hurting a lot.

    In order to stop it hurting me because I need to focus on revising for exams right now, I've stopped caring about her. But that just means being tied down and not-single with this woman who is showing very little visible care for me is making me frustrated and angry with the whole relationship.

    Here's the story:

    On the saturday of this week we were meant to meet for a short coffee followed by watching la-la land at the movies. Basically, snuggles. I actually wanted to go ice-skating, but she wasn't down as she was too tired. I was getting the impression she just wanted something snuggly so I suggested the movies instead and that film (which is a romance if you didn't know). She agreed on the friday but said she'd get back to me the day after as she was too tired at that time.

    She knew my sleep routine involved going to bed at 4am and waking up at 1pm though because I had been working nights recently.

    I woke up at 1.15pm on the saturday to messages of "wake up, wake up" followed by "Meet me at X at 2pm".

    Obviously that is ridiculous. I'd only just woke up so I text her asking her to hold up...

    She immediately responds with "okay, I'm setting off now" after reading my message.

    So I ask her wtf is wrong with her? why can't she just wait for a moment to allow me to be able to get into town without extreme rushing (it takes me 40mins on bus to get into town + about 60mins to get ready because of medication I need to take these days in addition to everything else) and offer a consolation plan of meeting her at 4pm.

    And at this point she flips. Gets super defensive, pulls out the victim mentality card and begins to go on a rant about how terrible I am, how selfish I am, how unacceptable it is for me to call her names (I think she's literally getting delusional at this point because I have called her no insulting names yet).

    So I flip, because frankly I'm very annoyed at the whole scenario and probably woke up on the wrong side of bed because of it. I tell her that I'm no longer interested in seeing her at 4pm and would rather stay at home and get some revision done than go out of my way to meet up with her, try to make her have a good day and only end up being lectured on how terrible I am as a boyfriend.

    We then debated the ordeal for another hour until 3pm. After that she gave me the silent treatment claiming that no matter what she says it always seems to get interpreted by me in the worst way. It turns out she didn't intend to be so demanding in her original texts and that they were meant to imply that they were questions. As in "meet at 2 at x?". Certainly didn't at all read like that though. No apology given from her.

    30hours later, despite me being awake at 5am sending her an essay on how much I appreciate her (which was probably erroneous but then again... she is really insecure so...) she has not responded to me.

    And it hurts a lot. It's tearing me away from her.

    What would you guys do in this scenario?

    How do you feel generally about the 'silent treatment'?

    It seems an extremely unacceptable, immature way of dealing with conflict. I can't tolerate it at all.
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      (Original post by TorpidPhil)
      So I'm currently 30hours into the silent treatment from my girlfriend. It is hurting a lot.

      In order to stop it hurting me because I need to focus on revising for exams right now, I've stopped caring about her. But that just means being tied down and not-single with this woman who is showing very little visible care for me is making me frustrated and angry with the whole relationship.

      Here's the story:

      On the saturday of this week we were meant to meet for a short coffee followed by watching la-la land at the movies. Basically, snuggles. I actually wanted to go ice-skating, but she wasn't down as she was too tired. I was getting the impression she just wanted something snuggly so I suggested the movies instead and that film (which is a romance if you didn't know). She agreed on the friday but said she'd get back to me the day after as she was too tired at that time.

      She knew my sleep routine involved going to bed at 4am and waking up at 1pm though because I had been working nights recently.

      I woke up at 1.15pm on the saturday to messages of "wake up, wake up" followed by "Meet me at X at 2pm".

      Obviously that is ridiculous. I'd only just woke up so I text her asking her to hold up...

      She immediately responds with "okay, I'm setting off now" after reading my message.

      So I ask her wtf is wrong with her? why can't she just wait for a moment to allow me to be able to get into town without extreme rushing (it takes me 40mins on bus to get into town + about 60mins to get ready because of medication I need to take these days in addition to everything else) and offer a consolation plan of meeting her at 4pm.

      And at this point she flips. Gets super defensive, pulls out the victim mentality card and begins to go on a rant about how terrible I am, how selfish I am, how unacceptable it is for me to call her names (I think she's literally getting delusional at this point because I have called her no insulting names yet).

      So I flip, because frankly I'm very annoyed at the whole scenario and probably woke up on the wrong side of bed because of it. I tell her that I'm no longer interested in seeing her at 4pm and would rather stay at home and get some revision done than go out of my way to meet up with her, try to make her have a good day and only end up being lectured on how terrible I am as a boyfriend.

      We then debated the ordeal for another hour until 3pm. After that she gave me the silent treatment claiming that no matter what she says it always seems to get interpreted by me in the worst way. It turns out she didn't intend to be so demanding in her original texts and that they were meant to imply that they were questions. As in "meet at 2 at x?". Certainly didn't at all read like that though. No apology given from her.

      30hours later, despite me being awake at 5am sending her an essay on how much I appreciate her (which was probably erroneous but then again... she is really insecure so...) she has not responded to me.

      And it hurts a lot. It's tearing me away from her.

      What would you guys do in this scenario?

      How do you feel generally about the 'silent treatment'?

      It seems an extremely unacceptable, immature way of dealing with conflict. I can't tolerate it at all.
      Sounds to me like you deserve each other - you're a ****, she's a ****. Gob's a good'n :borat:
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      shes at fault for being a baby
      dont say anything for 3 days
      then message hi or suprose her
      girls love being irrational at times dont beg come back later watch movies or chill with mates in silent treatment time
      thats what i do
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      (Original post by Tootles)
      Sounds to me like you deserve each other - you're a ****, she's a ****. Gob's a good'n :borat:
      Is my being a **** from what I've said I did in this story in particular or from your wider knowing me from Tsr...?

      I'm not sure I follow really.

      Although in many ways we were attracted to one another for a reason. We are both extremely emotionally needy. But she is unfortunately a lot more emotionally immature which does not really bode very well when it comes to textual discussion - we fall out a lot rather needlessly and everything escalates super quick.

      Yet ironically we are perfectly content when together in person.
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      I think the silent treatment is childish tbh. You're both adults and she should be open to discuss things further. I do think she should have considered the fact you wake up at 1pm and have to take your meditation beforehand. I do feel that insulting you wasn't the right way to go about things. She's lucky you don't decide to not bother with her again because I know quite a few guys that have done just that. You obviously care about her a lot and it sounds like you are going to wait it out and possibly contact her again. Maybe the time apart will help her to see things from a different perspective and understand that there was a little misunderstanding that blew out of proportion. You should definitely let her know how she made you feel.
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      Why did you wake up at 1?
      Is she really that horny?
      Text her she's dumped. You don't need that ****
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      (Original post by phunky_fresh)
      I think the silent treatment is childish tbh. You're both adults and she should be open to discuss things further. I do think she should have considered the fact you wake up at 1pm and have to take your meditation beforehand. I do feel that insulting you wasn't the right way to go about things. She's lucky you don't decide to not bother with her again because I know quite a few guys that have done just that. You obviously care about her a lot and it sounds like you are going to wait it out and possibly contact her again. Maybe the time apart will help her to see things from a different perspective and understand that there was a little misunderstanding that blew out of proportion. You should definitely let her know how she made you feel.
      I sent her a gigantic series of messages basically expressing everything about why I like her and how I am missing her - essentially as much grovelling as was truthfully sincere without apologising for anything that I could. She read that and gave no response.

      At that point I hurt even more. And that's when I decided to flip. Now I'm not hurting at all because I've given up caring. But I am feeling myself losing interest in her very rapidly (and getting quite angry at her unfortunately) - And I told her this too, which again, she has read and is not responding to.

      I've never known such a ridiculous, childish story.

      The level of comfort and attraction was such that one week before-hand she was giving me a blowy on a bus. Now she's actually making my forehead ache. We had a hotel night and a concert planned for the 28th too. Such a damn shame. Actually crushing me.
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      Also girls who can't say sorry are TOXIC
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      (Original post by TheExtrovertGod)
      Why did you wake up at 1?
      Is she really that horny?
      Text her she's dumped. You don't need that ****
      (Original post by TheExtrovertGod)
      Also girls who can't say sorry are TOXIC
      1pm as in the afternoon bud. Not much horny about that lol. I wouldn't mind a booty call if that was the terms of the relationship but I'm not doing that with this girl. This is meant to be a serious, mature, open, trusting, proper relationship.

      I'm super emotionally invested in her though. And partially financially too :P

      But in all honestly, she is really amazing to be around in person though. The text-talks are just no fun at all though. I don't get it.
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      Let her act like a child, give her space to be silly.
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      I'm sure she'll cool down and realise she's being irrational. Honestly i'm surprised she can keep it up for that long, the longest I can last is an hour because I'd feel so guilty. Focus on your revision
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      (Original post by TorpidPhil)
      1pm as in the afternoon bud. Not much horny about that lol. I wouldn't mind a booty call if that was the terms of the relationship but I'm not doing that with this girl. This is meant to be a serious, mature, open, trusting, proper relationship.

      I'm super emotionally invested in her though. And partially financially too :P

      But in all honestly, she is really amazing to be around in person though. The text-talks are just no fun at all though. I don't get it.
      Yeah why were you in bed at 1 lol, maybe she was mad because she had been waiting all day to spend time with you or something.
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      (Original post by TheExtrovertGod)
      Yeah why were you in bed at 1 lol, maybe she was mad because she had been waiting all day to spend time with you or something.
      I work nights as security in clubs... So that's my sleep routine.

      I'm sure she was very eager to see me but jeez. Adding some question marks onto your sentences so you don't come across as super demanding isn't that hard and apologising when someone misunderstands wth you are on about when you don't likewise.

      It is a minor thing, that then got totally out of hand because she is always playing the victim card and it hurts my brain given that I've been with numerous women who don't do this far younger than her...
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      (Original post by TorpidPhil)
      I work nights as security in clubs... So that's my sleep routine.
      Ok then she's massive butthurt.
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      I can't stand it when it happens everything goes around in my head as I care deeply for her. I always try to make amends before too long even though it might not be the "manly" thing to do lol
      • #1
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      (Original post by TorpidPhil)
      So I'm currently 30hours into the silent treatment from my girlfriend. It is hurting a lot.

      In order to stop it hurting me because I need to focus on revising for exams right now, I've stopped caring about her. But that just means being tied down and not-single with this woman who is showing very little visible care for me is making me frustrated and angry with the whole relationship.

      Here's the story:

      On the saturday of this week we were meant to meet for a short coffee followed by watching la-la land at the movies. Basically, snuggles. I actually wanted to go ice-skating, but she wasn't down as she was too tired. I was getting the impression she just wanted something snuggly so I suggested the movies instead and that film (which is a romance if you didn't know). She agreed on the friday but said she'd get back to me the day after as she was too tired at that time.

      She knew my sleep routine involved going to bed at 4am and waking up at 1pm though because I had been working nights recently.

      I woke up at 1.15pm on the saturday to messages of "wake up, wake up" followed by "Meet me at X at 2pm".

      Obviously that is ridiculous. I'd only just woke up so I text her asking her to hold up...

      She immediately responds with "okay, I'm setting off now" after reading my message.

      So I ask her wtf is wrong with her? why can't she just wait for a moment to allow me to be able to get into town without extreme rushing (it takes me 40mins on bus to get into town + about 60mins to get ready because of medication I need to take these days in addition to everything else) and offer a consolation plan of meeting her at 4pm.

      And at this point she flips. Gets super defensive, pulls out the victim mentality card and begins to go on a rant about how terrible I am, how selfish I am, how unacceptable it is for me to call her names (I think she's literally getting delusional at this point because I have called her no insulting names yet).

      So I flip, because frankly I'm very annoyed at the whole scenario and probably woke up on the wrong side of bed because of it. I tell her that I'm no longer interested in seeing her at 4pm and would rather stay at home and get some revision done than go out of my way to meet up with her, try to make her have a good day and only end up being lectured on how terrible I am as a boyfriend.

      We then debated the ordeal for another hour until 3pm. After that she gave me the silent treatment claiming that no matter what she says it always seems to get interpreted by me in the worst way. It turns out she didn't intend to be so demanding in her original texts and that they were meant to imply that they were questions. As in "meet at 2 at x?". Certainly didn't at all read like that though. No apology given from her.

      30hours later, despite me being awake at 5am sending her an essay on how much I appreciate her (which was probably erroneous but then again... she is really insecure so...) she has not responded to me.

      And it hurts a lot. It's tearing me away from her.

      What would you guys do in this scenario?

      How do you feel generally about the 'silent treatment'?

      It seems an extremely unacceptable, immature way of dealing with conflict. I can't tolerate it at all.
      I empathise big time because I'm always unintentionally jumping to conclusions and my boyfriend is like your girlfriend, flips out in an instant. The thing is they don't put these petty things in the back of their mind and move on, they'd rather keep putting you down so they have the upper hand in the relationship. I just think that if she is going to act childish and not get over it and accept your apology then dump her and she will then reflect on her actions and eventually run back to you, that will teach her a lesson!
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      (Original post by TheExtrovertGod)
      Yeah why were you in bed at 1 lol, maybe she was mad because she had been waiting all day to spend time with you or something.
      Bruh, did you even read the post lmao

      & Op just go hang out with mates or catch up revision till she decides to stop acting like a child
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      I think you might have done something that pissed her off or she cba to talk to you. I'm guilty of doing the silent treatment before.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      I empathise big time because I'm always unintentionally jumping to conclusions and my boyfriend is like your girlfriend, flips out in an instant. The thing is they don't put these petty things in the back of their mind and move on, they'd rather keep putting you down so they have the upper hand in the relationship. I just think that if she is going to act childish and not get over it and accept your apology then dump her and she will then reflect on her actions and eventually run back to you, that will teach her a lesson!
      Damn, that sounds similar.

      Unintentional mis-interpretaitons of what she apparently is trying to mean, but I swear down... I have no such problem with anyone else... Just this one woman. :L

      But boy does she flip out and then I'm too prideful to back down so **** hits the damn wall.

      I haven't apologised though to be fair. And I don't see a reason to apologise. I read what she said. What she said was not what she meant to be say, but it is what she said. She should be apologising to me for this!

      Sure I could suck it up and just apologise to move on from it but this isn't the first time I'd have to do that and I know it won't be the last and I'm not a ****ing man-slave. I want a mature woman with whom I can have an open and respectful relationship. If she wants this D that's the least she needs to offer...

      Why do you post anonymously incidentally?

      She's so emotionally capricious I am scared to suggest dumping her. I actually once suggested to her how replaceable she was... Yeah... She really gets on my nerves sometimes. Probably not a very health relationship, especially that we're at honeymoon levels of infatuation then within 2hours of meeting in person again. Ugh.
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      lol if a girl did that to me i'd break up with her immediately. Childish / stupid / malicious / selfish. The silent treatment is what you do after you've broken up with each other and need to move on lmao.

      If you have a problem you talk about it. Who wants to be with a girl that deliberately causes their SO stress and pain rofl.
     
     
     
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