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    I am looking for advice about what to do as I am really hating university at the moment, I can barely stop myself crying every 10 minutes. I have just started the second semester of first year, and sat exams before Christmas. It's not really the academic side of things that is the problem but I was very stressed around exam time. It started in freshers week, I don't get on with flat mates as we are all very different, and none of us really socialise in the kitchen. So I struggled to meet people as I am very very shy so find it difficult to go up to anyone and just start a conversation, and I also couldn't go out drinking cause of my age which is when most people made friends so it was difficult. Once lectures started I sort of just muddled through though wasn't enjoying it, I sat by myself in all my lectures and haven't made friends on my course, I only talked to a few people from one tutorial and a lab. But as I find it very difficult to make friends(it took me years in school to make my best friends now) I haven't really got anyone to talk to. Everyone seems to have made friends and are in groups with people, but I haven't found anyone that I've clicked with at all. I don't think this university is for me as there are a lot of international and English students who are all a year older than me so everyone seems so much more mature than me. I'm now thinking maybe university isn't for me, as I'm so shy and anxious and would much rather still just be at home. Or maybe I'm just too young for university and not ready for such a big change. I'm also thinking about changing universities but I have no idea how I would go about doing that, and it would be moving to a uni that is less reputable, which is why I chose the uni I am now rather than that one. Please don't say oh you just have to get over your shyness and talk to people cause I have really tried but as a very anxious person who has a lot of confidence issues that is very difficult. I just wanted some advice maybe from someone in a similar situation who moved university and how they managed that, or who decided to stick with the university they were originally at and it got better. Thank you
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    (Original post by sweatpea_98)
    I am looking for advice about what to do as I am really hating university at the moment, I can barely stop myself crying every 10 minutes. I have just started the second semester of first year, and sat exams before Christmas. It's not really the academic side of things that is the problem but I was very stressed around exam time. It started in freshers week, I don't get on with flat mates as we are all very different, and none of us really socialise in the kitchen. So I struggled to meet people as I am very very shy so find it difficult to go up to anyone and just start a conversation, and I also couldn't go out drinking cause of my age which is when most people made friends so it was difficult. Once lectures started I sort of just muddled through though wasn't enjoying it, I sat by myself in all my lectures and haven't made friends on my course, I only talked to a few people from one tutorial and a lab. But as I find it very difficult to make friends(it took me years in school to make my best friends now) I haven't really got anyone to talk to. Everyone seems to have made friends and are in groups with people, but I haven't found anyone that I've clicked with at all. I don't think this university is for me as there are a lot of international and English students who are all a year older than me so everyone seems so much more mature than me. I'm now thinking maybe university isn't for me, as I'm so shy and anxious and would much rather still just be at home. Or maybe I'm just too young for university and not ready for such a big change. I'm also thinking about changing universities but I have no idea how I would go about doing that, and it would be moving to a uni that is less reputable, which is why I chose the uni I am now rather than that one. Please don't say oh you just have to get over your shyness and talk to people cause I have really tried but as a very anxious person who has a lot of confidence issues that is very difficult. I just wanted some advice maybe from someone in a similar situation who moved university and how they managed that, or who decided to stick with the university they were originally at and it got better. Thank you

    You have analysed your situation very well.

    1, Stay, but you seem to have a lot of hurdles to overcome. It sounds good that its not academically you are findining it difficult, but more to do wth your age and not making friends due to shyness. It makes the whole place seem a lot more unfriendly.

    2. Leave and decide Uni isnt fro you? If you are able to get a good degree then imo get one.

    3. That leaves when? If you are young (You make it sound as though you are very young even for uni), then you cna take a year or two out. Build uop your confidence and find out what you really want to study.

    4. Study at your local uni and live at home or better just do more research and fin a uni you wnat to attend. Consider this a practice run. You will still get funding. It wouldnt do you any harm to get a job and socialise a bit more at home so you can take the edve off your shyness and build some confidence up. Try and do extra research on which are friendly unis and visit them.

    If you want to change Unis then just reapply through UCAS. Reapplying is starting over rather than transferring which is sometimes possible but more problematic and will present you with other problems.


    Talk to student support and your parents. You coul seek a change of accommodation, but that might not solve things. Dont worry many thousands of sudents change or leave. You wont be alone.
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    I wouldn't worry too much. I too am a fresher at uni and I felt quite lonely during the first term. All I can say is try to be yourself. Don't do things that you don't want to do, in the hope of making lots of friends. I don't drink, and I felt that I missed out on freshers week, as I didn't really go to any events, but rather stayed in my room messaging friends from my old school, that I missed. My kitchen also never socialised, and there were rarely more than two people in the kitchen at the same time. It got better towards the end of last term for me. I stopped worrying that everyone else seemed to be having more fun than me, and tried to appreciate what I had. I know it is incredibly difficult, but just try not to worry about making friends straight away. It's still early on. Just try to do whatever you enjoy doing, and friends will eventually find you. I've heard that most lasting friendships are made/cemented during the second year, so I wouldn't worry too much.
    I would recommend trying to join a society as well, in something that you enjoy doing, so that you can find people with a mutual interest, as you are more likely to become friends with them. I haven't done this, and it is something I regret, and I will try to join some societies next year, as I think it's a good place to make friends.
    I still struggle with this issue of not having real friends yet at uni, so please feel free to message me if you want to talk about it. Which uni are you at?
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    Also, 999tigger, I don't think that changing unis is the solution. Many students find the start of university incredibly tough, and it takes some people a long time to settle. I'd focus on trying to improve your current situation at uni, rather than looking at other places to go to
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    Just focus on getting a degree, think now fortunate you are compared to the homeless, disabled and poor who would like to be in your position. Put things into perspective and focus on the work. Time will fly if you're doing it properly.
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    I can certainly empathise with your situation. I am on an MA course having returned to higher education after a long break and find myself in the same situation. i too sit on my own in seminar/lectures - i think since September I have only sat next to someone once. Usually I am one side of the room and all the others are the other side. Last week we had to discuss dissertation ideas and were told to get into small groups of 2-3 to discuss them. well they all closed ranks leaving me to essentially discuss my ideas with myself. Earlier this week I got in early and sat on the side the others sit on the front row- when they arrived they still sat on the same side- but no one sat in the first 2 rows whereas normally these rows are the most popular. So you can see i can certainly empathise with you.
 
 
 
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