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Hating university so much - need advice Watch

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    I am looking for advice about what to do as I am really hating university at the moment, I can barely stop myself crying every 10 minutes. I have just started the second semester of first year, and sat exams before Christmas. It's not really the academic side of things that is the problem but I was very stressed around exam time. It started in freshers week, I don't get on with flat mates as we are all very different, and none of us really socialise in the kitchen. So I struggled to meet people as I am very very shy so find it difficult to go up to anyone and just start a conversation, and I also couldn't go out drinking cause of my age which is when most people made friends so it was difficult. Once lectures started I sort of just muddled through though wasn't enjoying it, I sat by myself in all my lectures and haven't made friends on my course, I only talked to a few people from one tutorial and a lab. But as I find it very difficult to make friends(it took me years in school to make my best friends now) I haven't really got anyone to talk to. Everyone seems to have made friends and are in groups with people, but I haven't found anyone that I've clicked with at all. I don't think this university is for me as there are a lot of international and English students who are all a year older than me so everyone seems so much more mature than me. I'm now thinking maybe university isn't for me, as I'm so shy and anxious and would much rather still just be at home. Or maybe I'm just too young for university and not ready for such a big change. I'm also thinking about changing universities but I have no idea how I would go about doing that, and it would be moving to a uni that is less reputable, which is why I chose the uni I am now rather than that one. Please don't say oh you just have to get over your shyness and talk to people cause I have really tried but as a very anxious person who has a lot of confidence issues that is very difficult. I just wanted some advice maybe from someone in a similar situation who moved university and how they managed that, or who decided to stick with the university they were originally at and it got better. Thank you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am looking for advice about what to do as I am really hating university at the moment, I can barely stop myself crying every 10 minutes. I have just started the second semester of first year, and sat exams before Christmas. It's not really the academic side of things that is the problem but I was very stressed around exam time. It started in freshers week, I don't get on with flat mates as we are all very different, and none of us really socialise in the kitchen. So I struggled to meet people as I am very very shy so find it difficult to go up to anyone and just start a conversation, and I also couldn't go out drinking cause of my age which is when most people made friends so it was difficult. Once lectures started I sort of just muddled through though wasn't enjoying it, I sat by myself in all my lectures and haven't made friends on my course, I only talked to a few people from one tutorial and a lab. But as I find it very difficult to make friends(it took me years in school to make my best friends now) I haven't really got anyone to talk to. Everyone seems to have made friends and are in groups with people, but I haven't found anyone that I've clicked with at all. I don't think this university is for me as there are a lot of international and English students who are all a year older than me so everyone seems so much more mature than me. I'm now thinking maybe university isn't for me, as I'm so shy and anxious and would much rather still just be at home. Or maybe I'm just too young for university and not ready for such a big change. I'm also thinking about changing universities but I have no idea how I would go about doing that, and it would be moving to a uni that is less reputable, which is why I chose the uni I am now rather than that one. Please don't say oh you just have to get over your shyness and talk to people cause I have really tried but as a very anxious person who has a lot of confidence issues that is very difficult. I just wanted some advice maybe from someone in a similar situation who moved university and how they managed that, or who decided to stick with the university they were originally at and it got better. Thank you

    This is the third thread ive seen on this in 24hrs, dont know how many others there are? If you are that distressed, then go and see student support/ tutor today. Loneliness and anxiety are common in Uni. It is possible to sort out, but not guaranteed, so you will need help in deciding the best choice for you.

    There will be plenty of other students with loneliness and anxiety issues, so its far from unique. To make friends you will need to find a way of interacting with other people, making your first few is key and as you arent in hall, then you are going to have to find another way such as societies, employment or activities. Many students arent half as confident or mature as you think. Maturity isnt a requirement at all. What you need to do if you wnat to stay is find a few like minded friends and have a type of university life that suits you instead of worrying about conforming what you think you ought to be doing as a student. the student welfare officers can point you in the right direction.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am looking for advice about what to do as I am really hating university at the moment, I can barely stop myself crying every 10 minutes. I have just started the second semester of first year, and sat exams before Christmas. It's not really the academic side of things that is the problem but I was very stressed around exam time. It started in freshers week, I don't get on with flat mates as we are all very different, and none of us really socialise in the kitchen. So I struggled to meet people as I am very very shy so find it difficult to go up to anyone and just start a conversation, and I also couldn't go out drinking cause of my age which is when most people made friends so it was difficult. Once lectures started I sort of just muddled through though wasn't enjoying it, I sat by myself in all my lectures and haven't made friends on my course, I only talked to a few people from one tutorial and a lab. But as I find it very difficult to make friends(it took me years in school to make my best friends now) I haven't really got anyone to talk to. Everyone seems to have made friends and are in groups with people, but I haven't found anyone that I've clicked with at all. I don't think this university is for me as there are a lot of international and English students who are all a year older than me so everyone seems so much more mature than me. I'm now thinking maybe university isn't for me, as I'm so shy and anxious and would much rather still just be at home. Or maybe I'm just too young for university and not ready for such a big change. I'm also thinking about changing universities but I have no idea how I would go about doing that, and it would be moving to a uni that is less reputable, which is why I chose the uni I am now rather than that one. Please don't say oh you just have to get over your shyness and talk to people cause I have really tried but as a very anxious person who has a lot of confidence issues that is very difficult. I just wanted some advice maybe from someone in a similar situation who moved university and how they managed that, or who decided to stick with the university they were originally at and it got better. Thank you
    Hi I was in a similar situation, when I initially moved into my university halls, my flatmates and I were very very different. I am slightly older than them and only enjoy drinking now and again, so I really struggled with this and eventually they stopped really bothering with me, which was quite hurtful. I think my best advice is to maybe go get some support from your uni, I know it can be difficult if you are shy/anxious to open up to someone in such a way and seek support but it may help you overcome your shyness to make it easier for you. Another alternative, is to join some societies, this is something I wish I had done in my first year, it would have made life miles better. Refreshers is coming up soon, so the societies may be doing some taster sessions (if its too hard to attend these alone, maybe you could ask a friend from home to come up for the weekend and start with you, so you can feel more comfortable and make some friends before you start the society all together). Most societies are surprisingly welcoming and friendly (I'd recommend the quidditch club, if your uni has one, because they are always the friendliest bunch and such a diversity of personalities, that you are going to click with someone, but I'm biased ) Hope things get better soon, do not give up, you went to uni for a reason, youll get there. I know its a horrible feeling, when you don't feel very settled.
 
 
 
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