I've been seeing this girl for the last few weeks. We seem to be getting on really well, but there's one thing that concerns me and it's that I can't seem to get her to orgasm when we have sex. I'm not too experienced myself which may have something to do with it, but I feel fairy confident these days (more than I used to be anyway) and know my way round a woman's body pretty well
We've had sex a couple of times so far and both times we must have done around 30 mins of foreplay before I went inside her. Both foreplay sessions I've been all over her, stimulating her breasts, fingering her and giving her oral... but even after all that I cant make her orgasm either with the foreplay or when we have sex after it.
I've only been with one girl before this one, and this other girl was so easy to please (I think I was quite lucky in that sense)... she would even orgasm just from breast stimulation and then multiple times from everything else.
But this new girl is very different. I normally find using my fingers is the easiest way to please a girl but not with this one, even when she guides my hand / fingers. Going by her body language (and scratching my back) it seems like she enjoys it, but not to the point of climaxing.
Also both times we've had sex I was quite drunk which made me last a good 30 mins of sex before I orgasmed myself... so it's not like I'm finishing too early.
She doesnt seem to mind any of this however, she only seems bothered about my orgasm... she doesnt seem to care if she has one herself or not. I think this might be because she seems quite into me, but Im worried she might leave me further down the line if she gets tired of me never pleasing her in bed.
I feel like I should say something but no idea what? I've already asked her what she likes and generally let her guide me, but Im running out of ideas.
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Can't make her orgasm watch
- Thread Starter
- 17-01-2017 15:02
- 18-01-2017 08:40
maybe show her how much of a teary **** you just had on The Student Room of all places, maybe that will set her off
- 18-01-2017 08:46
Focus on the clit as well!!!! And communicate
- 18-01-2017 09:14
Practice make perfect mate, sexual intercourse is 2 way of communication, just talk to her what the best approach to satisfy her
- 18-01-2017 09:18
She's so hollowed out by other guys, your fingers barely touch the sides.
- Community Assistant
- 18-01-2017 09:18
Maybe she's one of those that really struggles, and she's accepted that.
Take yours, and if she's happy, why worry?
Until she complains, stop worrying.
- 18-01-2017 09:19
You have to be cardiovascularly more fit that the woman to make her ***.
- 18-01-2017 09:37
I was hoping for someone to give you some good in-depth advice, but since there's not, I can at least tell you how it is from a woman's perspective - since me and my bf are having this issue also. Firstly, as long as you're trying, that will mean a lot to her. Do not, as someone suggested 'get yours' and not bother to try to satisfy her as that's one sure way for her to leave you. I've not been able to reach the O with my bf, but the fact that he cares and tries regardless means a lot to me.
As to why it's not happening - you should consider a few possibilities. Has she ever managed to orgasm before? Some woman supposedly are not able to. If she can do it herself, it might help for her to show you how (if she's comfortable to). Also, does she have any medical issues that might be affecting it? Diabetes is a big one to affect sexual drive and makes it more difficult. I believe my type one diabetes is just making it take a lot longer. Foreplay is important of course, so maybe trying to extend the amount of time you take there could be of help.
- 18-01-2017 10:16
Let me start with saying that your goal is fundamentally wrong.
You should realise that sex isn't about giving out orgasms. You love her and want to please her- understandable, of course, although setting 'an orgasm' as your final goal should not be the priority. Saying that you've 'EVEN' done foreplay for 30 minutes makes me think that for you it's an extremely long time to spend on foreplay. Don't just caress her body with the thought of 'if i do this, she will get an orgasm quicker', do it because you want to show her that you love her body and want to explore every single part of it and pay attention to her reactions, what she responds well to and what she doesn't. Every woman is different.
Oh, a huge percentage of women have never had an orgasm during sex, and there can be various reasons as to why, just google it, I'm sure you'll find loads of stuff on it- if you're interested about it of course. Too much information to fit into one post.
Start slowly, you seem to have a good idea what to do already, so we don't have to go into much detail. You say you are good with your fingers? Use it to your advantage, make sure she's ready and aroused and slowly and GENTLY! start putting pressure on specific spots and find out what she likes. Does she like it? Great, carry on, harder and harder, making sure you are not hurting her, because even that can be the reason why you cannot fully pleasure your girlfriend.
Hope I helped, I could go on forever so if you want PM me :P
- 18-01-2017 10:24
really the only person who can give you the answer is the young lady, not TSR
- 18-01-2017 10:42
I told my girlfriend she should let me know when she was getting close to orgasm. She said "I don't like to phone you at work".
- 18-01-2017 12:51
just talk to her
you might be doing the wrong thing, the wrong speed, the wrong time duration etc or it might be that she just doesn't orgasm much and is happy with that