Coming out as trans to some of my teachers: would it spread?

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H1413
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#1
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#1
Hi everyone, I am in year 12 at school and transgender (female to male). My school is a single-sex all female school but I know that many of the teachers are not bothered by the idea of a transgender student at their school. I'm considering telling 2 or 3 of my teachers that I would prefer to be called by my male name and he/him pronouns during class, but I'm worried that if I told some teachers, it would spread to ALL of my teachers and I really don't want them all to find out. Also, my parents don't know, so I'm not sure whether its too risky to tell some teachers, in case they accidentally OR on purpose tell my parents.

Has anyone got any advice, or ever come out to teachers at school as trans? I'm not looking for people to tell me that I shouldn't rush into 'changing my gender' or whatever, and if you have a problem with trans people then please don't reply; I'm only looking for advice on this one issue.

Thanks
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Ladbants
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#2
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#2
Technically they're not allowed to tell others because they're expected to keep this sort of information confidential.
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username1726117
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#3
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#3
Tough one, as I'm not sure what schools should have to do in this situation...especially considering it's all-female.

Certain members of staff may have to be informed, and it may be policy to inform the parents. Why haven't you discussed this with them?
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NotKidding
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#4
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#4
This kind of information spreads very quickly, I wouldn't recommend you went through with this.
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username1942323
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#5
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#5
If the teachers are gonna call you by a male name and he/him pronouns, then it will probably spread because the whole class will hear it.

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pepe11
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#6
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#6
(Original post by H1413)
Hi everyone, I am in year 12 at school and transgender (female to male). My school is a single-sex all female school but I know that many of the teachers are not bothered by the idea of a transgender student at their school. I'm considering telling 2 or 3 of my teachers that I would prefer to be called by my male name and he/him pronouns during class, but I'm worried that if I told some teachers, it would spread to ALL of my teachers and I really don't want them all to find out. Also, my parents don't know, so I'm not sure whether its too risky to tell some teachers, in case they accidentally OR on purpose tell my parents.

Has anyone got any advice, or ever come out to teachers at school as trans? I'm not looking for people to tell me that I shouldn't rush into 'changing my gender' or whatever, and if you have a problem with trans people then please don't reply; I'm only looking for advice on this one issue.

Thanks
If teachers call you male pronouns in class then everyone will know anyway.
Anyone call tell everyone everything and it will spread.
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MyTwistedWorld
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#7
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Have you tried a trans support group online? I understand not wanting to tell your parents straight away
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H1413
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#8
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#8
Do you mean why haven't I discussed this with my parents, or with my teachers? If its with my parents, its because they'd be angry and wouldn't upset me, and if its my teachers, its because I'm worried they'll tell others.
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H1413
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#9
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#9
(Original post by mediaya)
If the teachers are gonna call you by a male name and he/him pronouns, then it will probably spread because the whole class will hear it.

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My classmates already know I'm trans, so it would be okay if they heard me being called by a male name and pronouns because that's what most of them call me already
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H1413
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#10
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#10
(Original post by MyTwistedWorld)
Have you tried a trans support group online? I understand not wanting to tell your parents straight away
Thank you, and yes I am on a support group online

Thanks everyone for your advice and for being honest haha
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username1942323
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#11
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#11
(Original post by H1413)
My classmates already know I'm trans, so it would be okay if they heard me being called by a male name and pronouns because that's what most of them call me already
oh okay i thought you meant that you didnt want your classmates to know
so you dont want all your teachers to know then?
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sleepysnooze
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#12
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#12
no, I don't think the transsexuality would spread to your teachers
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akd2017
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#13
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Hi
I work in a boys secondary school, and always have huge respect for our boys who come out as gay/trans. One of my very best days at work was being able to support a Y12 boy-to-girl trans who got a grant from the school to buy new, feminine school clothes for sixth form. We hit the shops, and she looked so much happier afterwards. It was wonderful. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you will find people who will understand and support you, and inevitably also those that may give you a hard time. It is the same with any issue, throughout life. Good luck, be brave, and go for it. Chances are the staff already know - we hear a huge amount that we don't let on, y'know
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H1413
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#14
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(Original post by akd2017)
Hi
I work in a boys secondary school, and always have huge respect for our boys who come out as gay/trans. One of my very best days at work was being able to support a Y12 boy-to-girl trans who got a grant from the school to buy new, feminine school clothes for sixth form. We hit the shops, and she looked so much happier afterwards. It was wonderful. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you will find people who will understand and support you, and inevitably also those that may give you a hard time. It is the same with any issue, throughout life. Good luck, be brave, and go for it. Chances are the staff already know - we hear a huge amount that we don't let on, y'know
Wow, that's really so cool of you and the school, I bet she had loads of fun Thank you! And yes, I'm sure a lot of members of staff have guessed or know...If you don't mind me asking, as a teacher, do you think that a student would be able to come out to some teachers but not others, without all of the teachers finding out?
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Fallen22
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#15
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#15
(Original post by akd2017)
Hi
I work in a boys secondary school, and always have huge respect for our boys who come out as gay/trans. One of my very best days at work was being able to support a Y12 boy-to-girl trans who got a grant from the school to buy new, feminine school clothes for sixth form. We hit the shops, and she looked so much happier afterwards. It was wonderful. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you will find people who will understand and support you, and inevitably also those that may give you a hard time. It is the same with any issue, throughout life. Good luck, be brave, and go for it. Chances are the staff already know - we hear a huge amount that we don't let on, y'know
Got a grant from the school to buy clothes?!
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H1413
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#16
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#16
by the way, if anyone's looking at this thread because they're in a similar situation, you might want to know that I did come out to a teacher and it turned out she already knew, and she was completely supportive and said she won't tell my parents or other teachers. So now I have a teacher who calls me by the right name and pronouns, and also an adult who I can talk to about things So it worked out well
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annamichaels1990
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#17
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#17
hi i my name is Anna but now i want to be called charlie ever since i was young i have wanted to be a boy now i want to tell my new school that i want to become trans but i am scared of what everyone will think of me what do you think i should do?
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H1413
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#18
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#18
(Original post by annamichaels1990)
hi i my name is Anna but now i want to be called charlie ever since i was young i have wanted to be a boy now i want to tell my new school that i want to become trans but i am scared of what everyone will think of me what do you think i should do?
Hey Charlie My advice would be to start by telling one or two people who you trust and who you maybe know support LGBT+ people? What I did was tell my friend who is gay first, as I expected that that would make her understanding. And then maybe once you've spoken to a couple of supportive people, they could support you in coming out more publicly at school, if that's something you wanna do In my experience, at least, people are really really nice about it, even if they can be a bit misguided - everybody at my school has been kind about it, even if they sometimes say dumb things! I hope this helps and feel free to PM me if you like
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TransSean
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#19
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#19
I am in almost the same situation, I want my teacher's to know that I am a male, I am honestly not afraid of it speading to my other teachers because then I have a bigger chance of being called he/him or my male perferred name, my parent's don't know about me either. I say to tell the teachers not to tell the other teachers and you can tell them when your ready, best of luck!
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remussjhj01
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#20
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#20
I would make it exceptionally clear to the teachers you are telling that you don't want other teachers to know, and you don't want your parents to know.
They should keep this information confidential. They should only be only telling others (including your parents) if there is concern about your welfare (eg. self harm or suicidal thoughts).
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