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Confident irl but anxious about phone calls. Watch

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    Okay so my whole child and teenage years I was a very anxious person, especially as I was always picked on. Always known as the "shy/one who never speaks" like I was even too anxious to call out my bus stop and the bus driver would never hear me and go past my stop and I'd never speak when we were put in groups.

    Anyway, uni and job hunting and has helped me become confident and comfortable with myself and makeup makes me feel better about my appearance too which I only started wearing when I was like 19. So all of this has helped me tremendously and where I used to feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety overcoming my entire body, I now feel nothing at all. I used to hate things irl like passing makeup counters which I found extremely intimidating, now I don't care and I go to them all the time, enjoy speaking to strangers now and stuff.

    But one thing that's still affecting me is that I really hate phone calls and avoid them. Whenever I get a call from a number I don't recognise, such as recruiters, I never answer first time and instead call back from their voicemail usually a day later. I have to build myself up to do it and sometimes I'll sit there for like an hour trying to get myself to call them and practising what I'm gonna say it's pathetic. I think the main issue is my voice and I'm worried about how I sound. I've been told I sound very young over the phone and I hate it since I need to appear professional when speaking to recruiters etc.

    How can I deal with this?
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    I started off by calling places such as my local bowling alley (which I'll use as an example) to ask questions that I would usually email about (such as how much is a teen's ticket). Things like that can't really go wrong. It usually goes something like this:

    "Hi. I was just wondering if you could tell me how much it would cost for two teens for two games?"

    They would tell me, I'd say ok thanks, and hang up. It helps to write down what you're going to say, and then you can be off the phone in less than a minute in some cases.

    Once you're a bit more comfortable, you can try calling to book a lane for your friends. Again, practise what to say and think of any potential questions they might ask. (If you aren't actually planning on going bowling, then it's another chance to call up if you would like to cancel your booking).

    I had to enquire about prices for a weekend away when I ran a residential through Girlguiding so that was a big step for me. I only called to ask about prices and how to book activities and I ended up staying on the phone for a while and booking it that same day. Sometimes, it takes a big leap to get to the next stage.

    Once you're confident making the calls, taking them should be easier. In no way is it an automatic piece of cake, but you're much more used to talking to others on the phone, regardless of who calls first.
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by greghayes)
    I started off by calling places such as my local bowling alley (which I'll use as an example) to ask questions that I would usually email about (such as how much is a teen's ticket). Things like that can't really go wrong. It usually goes something like this:

    "Hi. I was just wondering if you could tell me how much it would cost for two teens for two games?"

    They would tell me, I'd say ok thanks, and hang up. It helps to write down what you're going to say, and then you can be off the phone in less than a minute in some cases.

    Once you're a bit more comfortable, you can try calling to book a lane for your friends. Again, practise what to say and think of any potential questions they might ask. (If you aren't actually planning on going bowling, then it's another chance to call up if you would like to cancel your booking).

    I had to enquire about prices for a weekend away when I ran a residential through Girlguiding so that was a big step for me. I only called to ask about prices and how to book activities and I ended up staying on the phone for a while and booking it that same day. Sometimes, it takes a big leap to get to the next stage.

    Once you're confident making the calls, taking them should be easier. In no way is it an automatic piece of cake, but you're much more used to talking to others on the phone, regardless of who calls first.
    Thanks for the advice!
    The thing is I have made and answered a lot of calls in the past few months. For example I arranged 2 large events and was on the phone all the time making bookings etc, and have had a lot of calls from recruiters. I just feel like I've made no progress with all this telephone experience tbh
 
 
 
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