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Going on a date with the first guy I kissed 6 years ago? Watch

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    Let's call him E. E and I didn't keep in touch at all since our friendship as kids ended. So it all started at the end of the summer (like 6 months ago) when he followed me on social media and added me on snapchat, then in October we had the same table in a pub as my group of friends knew his group of friends. In November we started talking and E was asking me if I was in a relationship with a guy I was hanging around with in the pub, but E did have a girlfriend at that time.

    At the end of November he was telling me how we should go for a drink, I told him I didn't think it was ok, considering his gf. E was saying that their relationship (2 years together) is almost over cause they don't get along. In December his good friend died in a car accident so I was there for him almost everyday, as a friend.

    E broke up with her before New Year's. Since January started he really wanted us to meet, I kept delaying this ''date'' because I find it extremely weird to go on a date with my childhood first kiss. I mean we haven't talked in 6 years, it's so strange. And I'm not looking for anything serious right now so I wouldn't want to give him the wrong impression. What should I do?
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    He just broke up and he wants to go on a date with you, sounds like rebound to me. You said it was weird yourself, so don't force yourself to go and definitely don't lead him on. If you don't want anything serious then either hang out as friends or for a catch up but you should tell him it's not a date so he understands. Or just don't go through with it at all.
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    tell him honestly- if youre honest he'll understand

    it weird how he just broken up and wants to move on so quickly- even with a relationship of two years.

    he cant force you, so if you dont want to, you have the right to say no :yep:
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    (Original post by UWS)
    He just broke up and he wants to go on a date with you, sounds like rebound to me. You said it was weird yourself, so don't force yourself to go and definitely don't lead him on. If you don't want anything serious then either hang out as friends or for a catch up but you should tell him it's not a date so he understands. Or just don't go through with it at all.
    He's 2 years older than me and he seems really mature for his age and I'd say he's looking for something serious, not purely playing around, that's why I don't know if I should go further with this, wouldn't want to waste his time. Plus he didn't flirt with me while he was with her, even if they weren't a happy couple anymore, so that shows he has respect and good character.

    Yes, I'd like to hang out just as friends to catch up, but it's still kind of weird, don't you think?
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    (Original post by EC)
    He's 2 years older than me and he seems really mature for his age and I'd say he's looking for something serious, not purely playing around, that's why I don't know if I should go further with this, wouldn't want to waste his time. Plus he didn't flirt with me while he was with her, even if they weren't a happy couple anymore, so that shows he has respect and good character.

    Yes, I'd like to hang out just as friends to catch up, but it's still kind of weird, don't you think?
    It would only be weird if you make it weird tbh. But if you're in doubt over it then theres no point in delaying the date any more, you just need to say that you're not interested in anything serious right now.
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    it took him 2 years to realise he doesn't get along with his gf?
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    (Original post by CleverSquirrel)
    tell him honestly- if youre honest he'll understand

    it weird how he just broken up and wants to move on so quickly- even with a relationship of two years.

    he cant force you, so if you dont want to, you have the right to say no :yep:
    Honestly, I think his feelings for her kind of faded since summer, that's what some of his friends were saying, they weren't that close anymore.
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    (Original post by Palmyra)
    it took him 2 years to realise he doesn't get along with his gf?
    perhaps a week to realise it and two years to extricate himself. I am not a man of action, no.
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    (Original post by Palmyra)
    it took him 2 years to realise he doesn't get along with his gf?
    A relationship can be amazing for a period of time and then you both might change, start arguing more, feelings fade and you come to the conclusion that you're not capable of building the relationship anymore.

    Also there are some people who never realize their partner is not right for them.
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    (Original post by cambio wechsel)
    perhaps a week to realise it and two years to extricate himself. I am not a man of action, no.
    :rofl::rofl:

    Cambiooooooooooooo...thx for always making me laugh.
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    (Original post by EC)
    A relationship can be amazing for a period of time and then you both might change, start arguing more, feelings fade and you come to the conclusion that you're not capable of building the relationship anymore.

    Also there are some people who never realize their partner is not right for them.
    i get that circumstances can change precluding the continuation of the relationship, but to not "get along" after a significant period of time seems strange to me. i don't really buy the argument that people just randomly "change" in a manner fatal to established relationships (other than when "change" means develop a drug habit or something), they were clearly just always like that but didn't show it.
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    (Original post by Palmyra)
    i get that circumstances can change precluding the continuation of the relationship, but to not "get along" after a significant period of time seems strange to me. i don't really buy the argument that people just randomly "change" in a manner fatal to established relationships (other than when "change" means develop a drug habit or something), they were clearly just always like that but didn't show it.
    Uh, change doesn't necessarily mean developing an addiction or dramatically changing your behaviour into something worse.

    We are constantly changing, there are no certainties. Life is continuously changing and of course we're changing with it even if we might not realize it. That's why it's hard to find that person who is growing with you in the same way, at the same time and who also encourages you to grow.
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    (Original post by EC)
    Uh, change doesn't necessarily mean developing an addiction or dramatically changing your behaviour into something worse.

    We are constantly changing, there are no certainties. Life is continuously changing and of course we're changing with it even if we might not realize it. That's why it's hard to find that person who is growing with you in the same way, at the same time and who also encourages you to grow.
    i am agreeing that as new circumstances arise we find out more about ourselves and those around us from how we respond, but this isn't really us changing as much as it is revealing parts of us which were always there

    in that sense, such revelations should be at least partially deducible from shared experiences up to that date, and at the very least this means that any material change to the relationship is more likely to emanate from a change in circumstance than a change in who we are
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    (Original post by Palmyra)
    i am agreeing that as new circumstances arise we find out more about ourselves and those around us from how we respond, but this isn't really us changing as much as it is revealing parts of us which were always there

    in that sense, such revelations should be at least partially deducible from shared experiences up to that date, and at the very least this means that any material change to the relationship is more likely to emanate from a change in circumstance than a change in who we are
    Yes, maybe these parts were always there, but there are also experiences who make us lose parts of ourselves or discover new ones so we kind of renew ourselves through this process.

    I think conditions make people change accordingly. The thing is that I've been put in situations like ending friendships of 10 years because our mentalities were so different and simply couldn't get along anymore, we no longer shared the same ideas or values so we weren't getting along. But maybe I couldn't see how they were from the beginning and it took me that much. Lol.
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    (Original post by Corbynista)
    So you are cheating on me with you first kiss? Wow just wow.
    :lies:

    not cheating at all.
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    (Original post by Corbynista)
    So cheating on me and calling me a liar?


    JK


    In all seriousness, it sounds like the guy is trying to pursue you for a relationship and as others have stated it is most likely a rebound one. Could you really see yourself with him?
    Lol, you people are crazy. How does someone want a rebound relationship when they aren't suffering and they're the one who decided to end things? I don't want anything serious atm, so I couldn't really see myself with anyone right now, I have other things on my mind.
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    (Original post by EC)
    Lol, you people are crazy. How does someone want a rebound relationship when they aren't suffering and they're the one who decided to end things? I don't want anything serious atm, so I couldn't really see myself with anyone right now, I have other things on my mind.
    You never mentioned specifics in your original post. If you don't want anything serious then friend zone him. And yes I know it is hard thinking about me all the time
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    (Original post by EC)
    Lol, you people are crazy. How does someone want a rebound relationship when they aren't suffering and they're the one who decided to end things? I don't want anything serious atm, so I couldn't really see myself with anyone right now, I have other things on my mind.
    Even if they were the one who ended it, they're still not over it. He was in a relationship with her for 2 years, he can't forget her that easily. If he's after you that quickly after a long term relationship, you probably are his rebound.
    Like you said, you're not looking for anything serious, that is good. Don't let yourself get too attached, and make it clear to him that you don't want a serious relationship.
    Take care xxx
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    (Original post by Corbynista)
    You never mentioned specifics in your original post. If you don't want anything serious then friend zone him. And yes I know it is hard thinking about me all the time
    I didn't mention stuff cause people on TSR don't bother reading really long posts. :rolleyes:

    YES IT IS REALLY HARD.
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    (Original post by Eternalflames)
    Even if they were the one who ended it, they're still not over it. He was in a relationship with her for 2 years, he can't forget her that easily. If he's after you that quickly after a long term relationship, you probably are his rebound.
    Like you said, you're not looking for anything serious, that is good. Don't let yourself get too attached, and make it clear to him that you don't want a serious relationship.
    Take care xxx
    If he's after you that quickly

    Actually I think he's one of the fewest who still know how to make conversation and be friends first without unnecessary bs, so not moving quickly at all.

    The word rebound didn't even occur to me and my thread was certainly not about that, I think most of you kind of got the wrong idea. Lol.

    Yeah, I don't get easily attached lucky me so that's fine.
 
 
 
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