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    If I could live a life of my dream job though. It'd either be streaming on twitch and being a super cool 'e-girl' (though I can't do that as all the equipment for streaming costs an arm and a leg (not literally), designing game characters and monsters (though that requires it related knowledge for some reason - not just drawing on paper and making something cool), working for some of the gaming industries i like to play (League Of Legends), Coming up with character ideas and watching someone bring them to life (as I have no faith in my artistic talents - i acknowledge i have some but they are average at best) would just be wow. If I had enough confidence being a model, hairdresser, make-up artist would be right up my street but - that's a different me that doesn't exist. Or even better. Owning a cattery/kennel and raising beautiful kitties and puppies :3 I envy those of the people in the world that are born into families that lead into them getting work because its like their family business. I have awful sleeping patterns at the moment but - I change them easily. For example I woke up at 8am yesterday, up and dressed by 9am. Today I woke up at 4pm. I can get up if I feel like it's worth getting up. I think yesterday the dogs were just being noisy so I didn't have the option of falling back to sleep. I don't have any purpose that gets me up and out every day. I'm just trapped in my room feeling sorry for myself and frustrated, playing games to escape the life I'm sucking so badly at. Constantly wishing my boyfriend could save me (I know - what the **** - My selfishness actually disgusts me. He's the one that needs saving and yet here I am wishing that someone will save me and protect me and all that girly plop. Anyone out there, please. I need a job Anyone that can offer me one. I need one. I need to have purpose in my life, I need to be able to look after myself and my boyfriend instead of driving myself mad, agonising over the fact that I'm doing nothing. It irritates me when people suggest all the obvious options like you haven't already tried them and then start getting frustrated with you and acting like you are making excuses for yourself. Dude, no one wants to be depressed. It just happens - over a long time or a short period, whichever. I've had counselling, various different types of medicine (which I no longer take because they made me feel really ill and sleepy all the time). I just feel like I need a hero haha because I can't save myself from all this pain I'm feeling, and from the situation I'm stuck in. I've actually been pretty vague despite my hench essay but if there's any further questions, please ask. If you have any ideas of what I could do, please suggest (other than the obvious like - apply for jobs. I've been doing that. No one replies and if I get a reply its a reply to say that I've been turned down' I've been applying for apprenticeships to...until I realised that they don't get funded for anyone above the age of 19 so why would anyone want to give me an apprenticeship. Would have been ideal considering my mental state to be trained and earn, rather than just jump straight into a job being expected to know what to do. I have a CV if anyone on here is actually secretly an employer and would like me to work for them Or just is interested in what my CV is like. I'd also like to make some friends to. Real friends. Not just internet friends. I miss having real friends (even if they did turn out to be liars and two faced plebs). Thank you for those of you that took the time to read this. I'm just glad to have spoken about this. It just helps sometimes to rant to the world, just makes it feel less heavy.
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      Yeah I know how a rant can help. Im always doing it about speed limits (a limit on speed, strange concept that. The true limit of speed is about 186000M/PS).

      Anyway very few people end up doing what they actually want to do. I am a forklift driver and Im ok, but I have always wanted to be a lumberjack. No point dwelling on not being able to do your dream job, just makes you feel like schitt. I dwell on having to drive slow (which I often dont) and being on minimum wage. That is bad enough so dwelling on something like not being able to do your dream job is a bit like dwelling on not being able to win the Euro millions.

      Im not really very good at this either.
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      (Original post by Laomedeia)
      Yeah I know how a rant can help. Im always doing it about speed limits (a limit on speed, strange concept that. The true limit of speed is about 186000M/PS).

      Anyway very few people end up doing what they actually want to do. I am a forklift driver and Im ok, but I have always wanted to be a lumberjack. No point dwelling on not being able to do your dream job, just makes you feel like schitt. I dwell on having to drive slow (which I often dont) and being on minimum wage. That is bad enough so dwelling on something like not being able to do your dream job is a bit like dwelling on not being able to win the Euro millions.

      Im not really very good at this either.
      My dad does woodcutting ^^ He's self employed. As long as you have the permission from whoever owns the land and clean up the debris afterwards then you can make some money from it He usually keeps an eye out for areas he can tell need cutting and then asks the owner of the land if its ok to cut trees. But I guess that can be kind of awkward. He usually just cuts on friends of family's land. I go to help him sometimes but I'm not strong enough to do the cutting. I just clean up and help load the logs.

      I guess I'm not cut out for the real world >_< I just can't imagine not following dreams. I mean, especially if they aren't entirely impossible. But I guess that's just some naive thing I've developed over the years as I haven't got any real world experience. Thank you for taking the time to read and respond :P
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      (Original post by Hazel Owers)
      If I could live a life of my dream job though. It'd either be streaming on twitch and being a super cool 'e-girl' (though I can't do that as all the equipment for streaming costs an arm and a leg (not literally), designing game characters and monsters (though that requires it related knowledge for some reason - not just drawing on paper and making something cool), working for some of the gaming industries i like to play (League Of Legends), Coming up with character ideas and watching someone bring them to life (as I have no faith in my artistic talents - i acknowledge i have some but they are average at best) would just be wow. If I had enough confidence being a model, hairdresser, make-up artist would be right up my street but - that's a different me that doesn't exist. Or even better. Owning a cattery/kennel and raising beautiful kitties and puppies :3 I envy those of the people in the world that are born into families that lead into them getting work because its like their family business. I have awful sleeping patterns at the moment but - I change them easily. For example I woke up at 8am yesterday, up and dressed by 9am. Today I woke up at 4pm. I can get up if I feel like it's worth getting up. I think yesterday the dogs were just being noisy so I didn't have the option of falling back to sleep. I don't have any purpose that gets me up and out every day. I'm just trapped in my room feeling sorry for myself and frustrated, playing games to escape the life I'm sucking so badly at. Constantly wishing my boyfriend could save me (I know - what the **** - My selfishness actually disgusts me. He's the one that needs saving and yet here I am wishing that someone will save me and protect me and all that girly plop. Anyone out there, please. I need a job Anyone that can offer me one. I need one. I need to have purpose in my life, I need to be able to look after myself and my boyfriend instead of driving myself mad, agonising over the fact that I'm doing nothing. It irritates me when people suggest all the obvious options like you haven't already tried them and then start getting frustrated with you and acting like you are making excuses for yourself. Dude, no one wants to be depressed. It just happens - over a long time or a short period, whichever. I've had counselling, various different types of medicine (which I no longer take because they made me feel really ill and sleepy all the time). I just feel like I need a hero haha because I can't save myself from all this pain I'm feeling, and from the situation I'm stuck in. I've actually been pretty vague despite my hench essay but if there's any further questions, please ask. If you have any ideas of what I could do, please suggest (other than the obvious like - apply for jobs. I've been doing that. No one replies and if I get a reply its a reply to say that I've been turned down' I've been applying for apprenticeships to...until I realised that they don't get funded for anyone above the age of 19 so why would anyone want to give me an apprenticeship. Would have been ideal considering my mental state to be trained and earn, rather than just jump straight into a job being expected to know what to do. I have a CV if anyone on here is actually secretly an employer and would like me to work for them Or just is interested in what my CV is like. I'd also like to make some friends to. Real friends. Not just internet friends. I miss having real friends (even if they did turn out to be liars and two faced plebs). Thank you for those of you that took the time to read this. I'm just glad to have spoken about this. It just helps sometimes to rant to the world, just makes it feel less heavy.
      I've had an idea! If you like dogs and cats you could volounteet at an animal rescue shelter or something? Perhaps. It might not be paid but if it's something you like then why not? Then maybe you could get training on being a vet or animal therapist you know that give baths to dogs with injuries or actually give baths to dogs and brush their hair like a dog hairdresser. Hopefully that's helped! Have you been to sixth form or university? Now might be a good time to apply if not. Oh! Another idea! You could train to be a nurse or ambulance driver for the NHS. They always need more of those. Ok so I've had some crazy ideas but maybe it's helpful 😃
     
     
     
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