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    Sorry if this is in the wrong forum!

    My ex boyfriend who I'm friends with, recently messaged me telling me that he now takes drugs and that life sucks. So I asked if he was okay as he'd recently got back together with a girl he'd broken up with before Christmas, so I thought things were getting better for him. But he said he was fed up and that she doesn't get it, nothing had happened specifically, but he's underwhelmed with it all. So I tried to speak to him the best that I could but he didn't reply until the eve telling me that he'd self harmed and sent me a photo. I'm really quite worried about him, I don't know or speak to any of his other friends, and he's rubbish at replying so ignores me checking up on him until his next message which for example today said he wanted to bleed out, and that I should come to his funeral. I asked where his girlfriend was and suggested she could go and see him as they're both at uni together and he said that she's often the problem, she makes him feel worthless and he felt that he has to hurt himself for her to see how much she hurts him.

    As a friend I care about him and can't stand to hear that he's like this. I'm at Durham and he's at Oxford, so I just don't think I can travel down to see him, but I just don't know what to do or say to help him and I'm so concerned.

    I'd really appreciate any words of advice? Thanks
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    Maybe this should be in the mental health bit? Idk..

    Help me TSR
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    (Original post by sleepinglions)
    Sorry if this is in the wrong forum!

    My ex boyfriend who I'm friends with, recently messaged me telling me that he now takes drugs and that life sucks. So I asked if he was okay as he'd recently got back together with a girl he'd broken up with before Christmas, so I thought things were getting better for him. But he said he was fed up and that she doesn't get it, nothing had happened specifically, but he's underwhelmed with it all. So I tried to speak to him the best that I could but he didn't reply until the eve telling me that he'd self harmed and sent me a photo. I'm really quite worried about him, I don't know or speak to any of his other friends, and he's rubbish at replying so ignores me checking up on him until his next message which for example today said he wanted to bleed out, and that I should come to his funeral. I asked where his girlfriend was and suggested she could go and see him as they're both at uni together and he said that she's often the problem, she makes him feel worthless and he felt that he has to hurt himself for her to see how much she hurts him.

    As a friend I care about him and can't stand to hear that he's like this. I'm at Durham and he's at Oxford, so I just don't think I can travel down to see him, but I just don't know what to do or say to help him and I'm so concerned.

    I'd really appreciate any words of advice? Thanks
    (Original post by sleepinglions)
    Maybe this should be in the mental health bit? Idk..

    Help me TSR
    Weird guy but mental health can do that sadly . Just speak to him and be like your a smart guy and that he should speak to a GP. Talk to him very logically over the phone no need to go down to Oxford. Make sure you address most of his things though. Tell him you are there to help him however you don't appreciate the ignoring... tell her to dump the gf and that there are many fish in the sea if she is making him feel so bad... Why on earth would anyone self-harm and then take photos it sad to hear
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    (Original post by sleepinglions)
    Sorry if this is in the wrong forum!

    My ex boyfriend who I'm friends with, recently messaged me telling me that he now takes drugs and that life sucks. So I asked if he was okay as he'd recently got back together with a girl he'd broken up with before Christmas, so I thought things were getting better for him. But he said he was fed up and that she doesn't get it, nothing had happened specifically, but he's underwhelmed with it all. So I tried to speak to him the best that I could but he didn't reply until the eve telling me that he'd self harmed and sent me a photo. I'm really quite worried about him, I don't know or speak to any of his other friends, and he's rubbish at replying so ignores me checking up on him until his next message which for example today said he wanted to bleed out, and that I should come to his funeral. I asked where his girlfriend was and suggested she could go and see him as they're both at uni together and he said that she's often the problem, she makes him feel worthless and he felt that he has to hurt himself for her to see how much she hurts him.

    As a friend I care about him and can't stand to hear that he's like this. I'm at Durham and he's at Oxford, so I just don't think I can travel down to see him, but I just don't know what to do or say to help him and I'm so concerned.

    I'd really appreciate any words of advice? Thanks
    sloots gon sloot.

    There must be a helpline or something you can call. Maybe his actual university? So you can let people know about him.
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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    sloots gon sloot.

    There must be a helpline or something you can call. Maybe his actual university? So you can let people know about him.
    why on earth would she do that? She could recommend a headline but 'exposing' someone like that what the hell?
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    Refer him to a psychiatrist, or a professional at uni...Convince him to break up with her, and at the very least offer some support if he can't. Maybe tell him to talk to family or friends? There are online communities for this stuff if he can't travel to a support group.
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    (Original post by Emz99)
    Weird guy but mental health can do that sadly . Just speak to him and be like your a smart guy and that he should speak to a GP. Talk to him very logically over the phone no need to go down to Oxford. Make sure you address most of his things though. Tell him you are there to help him however you don't appreciate the ignoring... tell her to dump the gf and that there are many fish in the sea if she is making him feel so bad... Why on earth would anyone self-harm and then take photos it sad to hear
    Just find it really hard to get through to him atm. It's really sad to know that this is happening to him :/


    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    sloots gon sloot.

    There must be a helpline or something you can call. Maybe his actual university? So you can let people know about him.
    Ah, that's another thing, he's told me not to tell anyone /: I considered messaging a friend of his just to ask him to see how he's doing etc, but I suppose I'm anxious he won't understand that I only told because I was genuinely concerned?
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    (Original post by Emz99)
    why on earth would she do that? She could recommend a headline but 'exposing' someone like that what the hell?
    so he doesn't end up hanging himself in a bathroom? If she lets the university know they'l have one of their 'student well being officers' contact him to try and make him feel better.
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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    so he doesn't end up hanging himself in a bathroom? If she lets the university know they'l have one of their 'student well being officers' contact him to try and make him feel better.
    idk these situations are hard so tired goodnight everyone!
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    (Original post by prazzyjazzy)
    Refer him to a psychiatrist, or a professional at uni...Convince him to break up with her, and at the very least offer some support if he can't. Maybe tell him to talk to family or friends? There are online communities for this stuff if he can't travel to a support group.
    Thank you!

    I was literally going around in circles trying to think of what to do and thinking about it all, so it's nice to actually get some other opinions
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    (Original post by sleepinglions)
    Thank you!

    I was literally going around in circles trying to think of what to do and thinking about it all, so it's nice to actually get some other opinions
    I really hope things get better for him Good luck!
 
 
 
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