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    Ok so here is the situation...
    I agreed to share a house with 3 people who do my course and I thought at the time it was a good idea but now I'm having second thoughts as one of the people I just don't get along with, basically their personality just clashes with mine big time. The other person seems alright but I don't know them that well tbh. The last person I am actually alright friends with and speak to them regularly.

    I wanna tell them that I've changed my mind and don't wanna live with them next year cause of many reasons
    1) I'm considering dropping out at the end of the year cause I hate my course
    2) I like to have my own space
    3) I might be switching unis next year if I don't drop out
    4) don't like one of the people and not close enough to the others

    But I need some advice cause we have house viewings sorted for next week so it's kinda like I need to tell them asap that actually I've changed my mind but I need to make sure I do it in such a way that won't annoy them like idk

    Is saying I don't wanna live with you guys anymore over the group chat we have a good idea or is it just gonna piss everyone off big time... I'm so worried that they're gonna like just ignore me if I say how I don't wanna go with them

    Advice ?
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    (Original post by fefssdf)
    Ok so here is the situation...
    I agreed to share a house with 3 people who do my course and I thought at the time it was a good idea but now I'm having second thoughts as one of the people I just don't get along with, basically their personality just clashes with mine big time. The other person seems alright but I don't know them that well tbh. The last person I am actually alright friends with and speak to them regularly.

    I wanna tell them that I've changed my mind and don't wanna live with them next year cause of many reasons
    1) I'm considering dropping out at the end of the year cause I hate my course
    2) I like to have my own space
    3) I might be switching unis next year if I don't drop out
    4) don't like one of the people and not close enough to the others

    But I need some advice cause we have house viewings sorted for next week so it's kinda like I need to tell them asap that actually I've changed my mind but I need to make sure I do it in such a way that won't annoy them like idk

    Is saying I don't wanna live with you guys anymore over the group chat we have a good idea or is it just gonna piss everyone off big time... I'm so worried that they're gonna like just ignore me if I say how I don't wanna go with them

    Advice ?
    You know you're going to need to tell them, and it's good that you're doing it now because nothing has been formally arranged.

    Inform them that you are unsure of your living circumstances next year so can't agree to booking anything, as that would be unfair on them and you might not be there next year. If you word it carefully and DON'T say what I bolded ("I don't wanna live with you guys anymore") they should be understanding.

    Just give them all of your above reasons (apart from the relationship reasons, that'll definitely cause friction) and it should be fine.
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    (Original post by SinsNotTragedies)
    You know you're going to need to tell them, and it's good that you're doing it now because nothing has been formally arranged.

    Inform them that you are unsure of your living circumstances next year so can't agree to booking anything, as that would be unfair on them and you might not be there next year. If you word it carefully and DON'T say what I bolded ("I don't wanna live with you guys anymore" they should be understanding.

    Just give them all of your above reasons (apart from the relationship reasons, that'll definitely cause friction) and it should be fine.
    Yeh this is the thing I feel like I do have a legimtate reason for not wanting to live with them next year but it's just making sure I go about telling them in the ' right ' way so as to not piss them off cause I see them like every day when have lectures so need to be very careful as to how this is said as I feel certain people will take it the wrong way
    Is this a good thing to post in the group chat
    '' guys I've been thinking and I'm not sure whether signing a house contract is a good idea as I'm not sure if I wanna be carrying on with this course after this year '
    Is that good so it basically suggests I don't wanna live with them but doesn't state the 'real' reasons as such...
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    (Original post by fefssdf)
    Ok so here is the situation...
    I agreed to share a house with 3 people who do my course and I thought at the time it was a good idea but now I'm having second thoughts as one of the people I just don't get along with, basically their personality just clashes with mine big time. The other person seems alright but I don't know them that well tbh. The last person I am actually alright friends with and speak to them regularly.

    I wanna tell them that I've changed my mind and don't wanna live with them next year cause of many reasons
    1) I'm considering dropping out at the end of the year cause I hate my course
    2) I like to have my own space
    3) I might be switching unis next year if I don't drop out
    4) don't like one of the people and not close enough to the others

    But I need some advice cause we have house viewings sorted for next week so it's kinda like I need to tell them asap that actually I've changed my mind but I need to make sure I do it in such a way that won't annoy them like idk

    Is saying I don't wanna live with you guys anymore over the group chat we have a good idea or is it just gonna piss everyone off big time... I'm so worried that they're gonna like just ignore me if I say how I don't wanna go with them

    Advice ?
    Make your mind up at what your story is. Will you be leaving or not?
    Tell them you are uncertain about your future and whether you will stay so you need to let them know now before the viewing starts and its best if they look for somewhere without you. that is all you need to tell them.

    Sooner you tell them then the less inconvenience you cause.

    Will they ignore you after? Who knows? You cnat pretend to want to live with them just to keep their friendship.

    Btw its easier for them to look for a 3 bedroomed house as long as they know or they could get a replacement. If you tell them, they should be ok. You havent left them in the lurch.
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    (Original post by fefssdf)
    Yeh this is the thing I feel like I do have a legimtate reason for not wanting to live with them next year but it's just making sure I go about telling them in the ' right ' way so as to not piss them off cause I see them like every day when have lectures so need to be very careful as to how this is said as I feel certain people will take it the wrong way
    Is this a good thing to post in the group chat
    '' guys I've been thinking and I'm not sure whether signing a house contract is a good idea as I'm not sure if I wanna be carrying on with this course after this year '
    Is that good so it basically suggests I don't wanna live with them but doesn't state the 'real' reasons as such...
    Yes, emphasise that you are unsure so that in case you do stay you don't risk alienating them.
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    (Original post by SinsNotTragedies)
    Yes, emphasise that you are unsure so that in case you do stay you don't risk alienating them.
    Yeh see I feel like if I say how I'm not sure then they'll just be like well you might as well do it anyways type thing and then if I do end up staying next year I'm rather worried then that they'll just sorta think that I was just saying that for the sake of it type thing... and they'll realise the real reason in that I don't like them that much :/ I think my biggest worry is that what it would actually be like to live with them like would it really be as bad as I'm imagining it will be in my head or will it be bearable and actually it won't be as bad as I think it'll be
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    If you really aren't sure if you are going to continue next year you would be crazy to commit to a tenancy agreement at this stage until you are sure.

    Explain it that way so they can make alternative plans without you but make sure if you do stay you can find an alternative if you do decide to stay.

    Being open in this way shouldn't cause offence to anyone but keep your other feelings to yourself.
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    (Original post by fefssdf)
    Yeh see I feel like if I say how I'm not sure then they'll just be like well you might as well do it anyways type thing
    Well, if they do say that mention how it would be foolish of you to enter a contract without knowing whether you will be staying at the university. Tell them that you may encounter difficulties opting out of the contract, you don't want to be bound by it and be unable to leave.

    and then if I do end up staying next year I'm rather worried then that they'll just sorta think that I was just saying that for the sake of it type thing... and they'll realise the real reason in that I don't like them that much :/ I think my biggest worry is that what it would actually be like to live with them like would it really be as bad as I'm imagining it will be in my head or will it be bearable and actually it won't be as bad as I think it'll be
    Then they are cynical (for good reason I guess ) and you will just find new friends. Don't waste your time and theirs by sustaining an already dead 'friendship'. Life is too short for people + situations you don't like.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If you really aren't sure if you are going to continue next year you would be crazy to commit to a tenancy agreement at this stage until you are sure.

    Explain it that way so they can make alternative plans without you but make sure if you do stay you can find an alternative if you do decide to stay.

    Being open in this way shouldn't cause offence to anyone but keep your other feelings to yourself.
    Thanks a lot and yes I agree it would be a bit mad agreeing to a contract if I wasn't gonna be continuing on next year (would end up paying like 4K out of my own pocket) t ; in terms of alternative plans I would probably just live in self catered halls or alternatively just go join some other second year's in their house as I tend to see people posting about needing housemates on the Facebook pages so I feel like I would be able to find somewhere regardless... my uni always has spaces in halls so should be fine tbh
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    (Original post by SinsNotTragedies)
    Well, if they do say that mention how it would be foolish of you to enter a contract without knowing whether you will be staying at the university. Tell them that you may encounter difficulties opting out of the contract, you don't want to be bound by it and be unable to leave.



    Then they are cynical (for good reason I guess ) and you will just find new friends. Don't waste your time and theirs by sustaining an already dead 'friendship'. Life is too short for people + situations you don't like.
    Thanks a lot and yeh I agree entirely what you're saying about sustaining a dead friendship as yeh I really don't get along with these people much ...
 
 
 
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