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Mentoring a Problem Kid. Watch

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    OK, so I've posed this question to literally EVERYONE I know, and I thought I'd extend it to the TSR community too.

    I am a Year 11 student currently. My form tutor has instructed me to "mentor" this Year 8 kid (13 years old) called Lewis.

    Lewis is late almost every single morning. Lewis is in seclusion and isolation at least once a week (this week he was in seclusion for 4 days). Lewis was excluded on Tuesday. Lewis truants school. Lewis's uniform is never correct. The rare times he's at school on time, Lewis refuses to go to his lessons.
    Lewis is always on red report for lateness (there are green, amber, red and purple reports. These you have to get signed by your teacher every lesson, it grades you on punctuality, uniform, beahviour etc).

    Idk a lot about him. But I know I'm hell bent on helping him. I'm sorta sassy and aggressive and not the best at talking to people, so HOW DO I HELP LEWIS?

    Any advice welcome x
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    (Original post by Carthaginian)
    Kick him off some set of stairs.
    Honestly, if he was an annoying little brat I'd have kicked him off six sets of stairs ages ago. But he's lovely and so adorable
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    (Original post by RimshaM)
    Honestly, if he was an annoying little brat I'd have kicked him off six sets of stairs ages ago. But he's lovely and so adorable
    Year 11 hitting on a year 8, kinda creepy tbh fam.
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    (Original post by Carthaginian)
    Year 11 hitting on a year 8, kinda creepy tbh fam.
    Nah, he's more of a little brother.
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    (Original post by RimshaM)
    Nah, he's more of a little brother.
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    (Original post by Carthaginian)
    What was the helpful advice again?
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    He sounds very troubled, probably has serious family problems as well as lacking the socialization necessary to do well in your school. It will be very hard to get him to behave, let alone to succeed. Tell your teacher he needs more professional help than you can offer. If you want to help, just be a consistent presence who is there for him. You will not be able to change him by telling him what he must do. That is my advice.
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    (Original post by RimshaM)
    What was the helpful advice again?
    "any advice welcome x".
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    (Original post by RimshaM)
    Honestly, if he was an annoying little brat I'd have kicked him off six sets of stairs ages ago. But he's lovely and so adorable
    Stop trying to save people who are completely beyond redemption. In 5 years time he'll be up at the Old Bailey for a triple homicide.
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    (Original post by alcibiade)
    He sounds very troubled, probably has serious family problems as well as lacking the socialization necessary to do well in your school. It will be very hard to get him to behave, let alone to succeed. Tell your teacher he needs more professional help than you can offer. If you want to help, just be a consistent presence who is there for him. You will not be able to change him by telling him what he must do. That is my advice.
    Thank you, that sounds pretty reasonable. I think I'll probably start walking him to school everyday, just to make sure he actually gets there and is on time. But there's only so much I can do - I'm Year 11 and it's January, so exam season is basically looming. I want to be there but I'll have my limits whether I like it or not.
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    (Original post by RimshaM)
    OK, so I've posed this question to literally EVERYONE I know, and I thought I'd extend it to the TSR community too.

    I am a Year 11 student currently. My form tutor has instructed me to "mentor" this Year 8 kid (13 years old) called Lewis.

    Lewis is late almost every single morning. Lewis is in seclusion and isolation at least once a week (this week he was in seclusion for 4 days). Lewis was excluded on Tuesday. Lewis truants school. Lewis's uniform is never correct. The rare times he's at school on time, Lewis refuses to go to his lessons.
    Lewis is always on red report for lateness (there are green, amber, red and purple reports. These you have to get signed by your teacher every lesson, it grades you on punctuality, uniform, beahviour etc).

    Idk a lot about him. But I know I'm hell bent on helping him. I'm sorta sassy and aggressive and not the best at talking to people, so HOW DO I HELP LEWIS?

    Any advice welcome x
    Aside from punctuality and attendance issues, do you have any idea if there are other reasons why he has entered seclusion/isolation? Has he any behavioural issues?
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    (Original post by l'etranger)
    Stop trying to save people who are completely beyond redemption. In 5 years time he'll be up at the Old Bailey for a triple homicide.
    well how do i phrase this? I'm not a caring person. I don't "help" people or give them advice. I'm actually pretty mean and my "sassiness" is often interpreted as rudeness.

    But idk, I really really really want to help him. He's not a bad kid, he could do well if he tried. I just don't know how to get to him. And no, Lewis is NOT like that.
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    (Original post by SinsNotTragedies)
    Aside from punctuality and attendance issues, do you have any idea if there are other reasons why he has entered seclusion/isolation? Has he any behavioural issues?
    He refuses to go to lessons when he gets to school. His behaviour's fine, he's just ALWAYS late. Like, there'll be one day out of ten that he isn't late, and he clams up when I ask him why he's never on time
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    (Original post by RimshaM)
    OK, so I've posed this question to literally EVERYONE I know, and I thought I'd extend it to the TSR community too.

    I am a Year 11 student currently. My form tutor has instructed me to "mentor" this Year 8 kid (13 years old) called Lewis.

    Lewis is late almost every single morning. Lewis is in seclusion and isolation at least once a week (this week he was in seclusion for 4 days). Lewis was excluded on Tuesday. Lewis truants school. Lewis's uniform is never correct. The rare times he's at school on time, Lewis refuses to go to his lessons.
    Lewis is always on red report for lateness (there are green, amber, red and purple reports. These you have to get signed by your teacher every lesson, it grades you on punctuality, uniform, beahviour etc).

    Idk a lot about him. But I know I'm hell bent on helping him. I'm sorta sassy and aggressive and not the best at talking to people, so HOW DO I HELP LEWIS?

    Any advice welcome x
    I mentored a 'problem' child when I was in Year 12 last year, the kid was in Year 9. At first I felt like I would be of no use as I had never mentored someone like him before and it was going to be a challenge. I eventually realised all the child wanted was someone to talk to as most people shut him out for obvious reasons. I managed to get through to him and he actually changed as a person, he just needed someone to look up to. Now I'm not saying we are in the same situation but sometimes all they want is someone to talk to them and have a rant. But yes he probably needs a teacher's help too.
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    (Original post by RimshaM)
    He refuses to go to lessons when he gets to school. His behaviour's fine, he's just ALWAYS late. Like, there'll be one day out of ten that he isn't late, and he clams up when I ask him why he's never on time
    Yeah, I disagree with the poster who said he'll inevitably end up at the Old Bailey. Sometimes kids just need guidance and to be shown someone cares.

    Is he perhaps being bullied or isolated in any way? That could be a reason for his lateness and attendance. But don't rule out other factors.

    Regardless, you need to be there for him as a constant and show him that he can trust you, so that eventually you can get to the root of the problem. Make sure that you pass on anything problematic (if anything problematic does arise) that you hear onto a more senior figure - for child protection purposes.
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    (Original post by Rhythmical)
    I mentored a 'problem' child when I was in Year 12 last year, the kid was in Year 9. At first I felt like I would be of no use as I had never mentored someone like him before and it was going to be a challenge. I eventually realised all the child wanted was someone to talk to as most people shut him out for obvious reasons. I managed to get through to him and he actually changed as a person, he just needed someone to look up to. Now I'm not saying we are in the same situation but sometimes all they want is someone to talk to them and have a rant. But yes he probably needs a teacher's help too.
    PRSOM. This is really valuable advice.
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    (Original post by Rhythmical)
    I mentored a 'problem' child when I was in Year 12 last year, the kid was in Year 9. At first I felt like I would be of no use as I had never mentored someone like him before and it was going to be a challenge. I eventually realised all the child wanted was someone to talk to as most people shut him out for obvious reasons. I managed to get through to him and he actually changed as a person, he just needed someone to look up to. Now I'm not saying we are in the same situation but sometimes all they want is someone to talk to them and have a rant. But yes he probably needs a teacher's help too.
    Thank youuu!! x
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    (Original post by SinsNotTragedies)
    Yeah, I disagree with the poster who said he'll inevitably end up at the Old Bailey. Sometimes kids just need guidance and to be shown someone cares.

    Is he perhaps being bullied or isolated in any way? That could be a reason for his lateness and attendance. But don't rule out other factors.

    Regardless, you need to be there for him as a constant and show him that he can trust you, so that eventually you can get to the root of the problem. Make sure that you pass on anything problematic (if anything problematic does arise) that you hear onto a more senior figure - for child protection purposes.
    I completely agree, thank you so much for the advice
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    talk to him - likelihood is things are bad at home, try and get him to understand education is his way out if he focuses, giev him advice for dealing with anger/anxiety/depression, if there's an 'incident' try and run through it together with the right way to handle it (e.g. so the teacher upset you? if you'd just said 'ok sorry' and sat down that would have been over and you'd be having a moan to me about how she was dumb rather than feeling this crap cos you got suspended again)

    he doesn't need another teacher - sarcasm, jokes and so on are your friend, he's more likely to listen to you and respect you if you're yourself and you don't need to tell him off - a 'you spent all day at school and didn't go to a single class, well that's a useful use of your time' will probably go down much better
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    talk to him - likelihood is things are bad at home, try and get him to understand education is his way out if he focuses, giev him advice for dealing with anger/anxiety/depression, if there's an 'incident' try and run through it together with the right way to handle it (e.g. so the teacher upset you? if you'd just said 'ok sorry' and sat down that would have been over and you'd be having a moan to me about how she was dumb rather than feeling this crap cos you got suspended again)

    he doesn't need another teacher - sarcasm, jokes and so on are your friend, he's more likely to listen to you and respect you if you're yourself and you don't need to tell him off - a 'you spent all day at school and didn't go to a single class, well that's a useful use of your time' will probably go down much better
    You're a lifesaver, I'll definitely take up the advice, thank you!!!!x
 
 
 
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