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Boyfriend communicating with his ex - Is this a red flag? Watch

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    My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months. He broke up with his ex to be with me but nothing happened between us until he ended things. He told me that he fell out of love with her but still thinks of her as a close friend. He seems completely into me and our relationship but last week I came across some messages between him and the ex… He has been contacting her every few days (nearly ALL initiated by him). Most of it was just general chit-chat but at one point he told her he really misses talking to her, thinks so much of her and would always be there for her.

    After seeing this I was worried he’s not over her completely, so I opened up to him about it and he told me she is just a friend to him and will let me know when he's been speaking to her. I really appreciate his honesty and think this kind of openness is good sign.

    He told me he spoke to her today so I looked at his phone. I'm not proud of this but I had the opportunity and my anxiety got the better of me... They were talking about Game of Thrones and he said he doesn't think he will be able to watch the next season without her, that it would be very strange and asked if they could please discuss the episodes together... she just replied saying 'aww of course you'll be able to watch it without me.' I don't watch GoT so I guess this is something he shares in common with her. Even though he's being honest with me about their communication, what he said to her in that conversation worries me a bit, especially when he said he doesn't think he'll be able to watch the next season of GoT without her... am I right to be worried about that kind of comment?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months. He broke up with his ex to be with me but nothing happened between us until he ended things. He told me that he fell out of love with her but still thinks of her as a close friend. He seems completely into me and our relationship but last week I came across some messages between him and the ex… He has been contacting her every few days (nearly ALL initiated by him). Most of it was just general chit-chat but at one point he told her he really misses talking to her, thinks so much of her and would always be there for her.

    After seeing this I was worried he’s not over her completely, so I opened up to him about it and he told me she is just a friend to him and will let me know when he's been speaking to her. I really appreciate his honesty and think this kind of openness is good sign.

    He told me he spoke to her today so I looked at his phone. I'm not proud of this but I had the opportunity and my anxiety got the better of me... They were talking about Game of Thrones and he said he doesn't think he will be able to watch the next season without her, that it would be very strange and asked if they could please discuss the episodes together... she just replied saying 'aww of course you'll be able to watch it without me.' I don't watch GoT so I guess this is something he shares in common with her. Even though he's being honest with me about their communication, what he said to her in that conversation worries me a bit, especially when he said he doesn't think he'll be able to watch the next season of GoT without her... am I right to be worried about that kind of comment?
    I would say there are a few red flags here, one you don't trust him, if you feel the need to check his phone to see what he is up to then that is not a good sign. The fact also he very quickly left his girlfriend for you is another, with that sounds as if now maybe he regrets it, I don't know it doesn't look too good.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months. He broke up with his ex to be with me
    People like this usually always end up leaving you for someone else/absuive and/or leave you for their ex ( again). Not worth it, karma always comes back round on you, if they leave someone for you, they'll leave you for someone else, make a lesson learned in the future.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months. He broke up with his ex to be with me but nothing happened between us until he ended things. He told me that he fell out of love with her but still thinks of her as a close friend. He seems completely into me and our relationship but last week I came across some messages between him and the ex… He has been contacting her every few days (nearly ALL initiated by him). Most of it was just general chit-chat but at one point he told her he really misses talking to her, thinks so much of her and would always be there for her.

    After seeing this I was worried he’s not over her completely, so I opened up to him about it and he told me she is just a friend to him and will let me know when he's been speaking to her. I really appreciate his honesty and think this kind of openness is good sign.

    He told me he spoke to her today so I looked at his phone. I'm not proud of this but I had the opportunity and my anxiety got the better of me... They were talking about Game of Thrones and he said he doesn't think he will be able to watch the next season without her, that it would be very strange and asked if they could please discuss the episodes together... she just replied saying 'aww of course you'll be able to watch it without me.' I don't watch GoT so I guess this is something he shares in common with her. Even though he's being honest with me about their communication, what he said to her in that conversation worries me a bit, especially when he said he doesn't think he'll be able to watch the next season of GoT without her... am I right to be worried about that kind of comment?
    Disagree with the other two. You are fretting too much. You cant force him to like you and it wont work banning him from speaking to his ex. You either trust him or you do not. He may ofc break that trust, but thats the rist you take. Not being able to watch GOT without her is innocent talk imo and the fact he has watched six seasons of it with her.

    It sounds like you are going to be worried about anything and everything tbh. Invading peoples phone and e-mail accounts are dumpable offences.
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    Well he has even said he misses his ex.
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    How you meet them is how you leave them
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    Why would he suddenly contact his ex to say that he misses her after a 4 month relationship with you? How would he feel about you doing that?
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    Honestly; talk to him about it, tell him how you feel, sort it out and tell him you dont like it? And f he still continues and you catch him talking to his ex again dump him
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    And you probably shouldn't be obsessing over your partner's phone, it means that your relationship lacks trust and you feel like something isn't right.
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    If a relationship comes to an end, of course there are bound to be some bittersweet feelings for all parties involved, but he should be considering your feelings if you're seriously uncomfortable with him talking to his ex since you're his girlfriend now. In my eyes, it's not okay, at all, I hope it works out for you though.
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    Yes that's a red flag, I've been the ex in this position and I would suggest talking to him because it's not OK with how comfortable you aren't.
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      No its a white flag for peace
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      jk...yes
      love the title though
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      I think maybe he is the one who hasn't let go of her but the ex has as all her replies are friendly. If i was the ex i would not touch your bf with a bargepole and would have told him to stop contacting me but guess she is too polite for that.
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      The red flag was how easily he ended his previous relationship for new pastures. If the same happens to your relationship it should hardly be surprising.

      Hopefully the ex is stringing him along until she can put the boot in and state that she is no longer interested in him as a partner.
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