Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Back Story (will help to explain my issue)

    I currently live with my mam and I stay every Friday night at my dads who lives with his girl friend and are expecting a child. my dad hasn't had a strong presence in my life until the past year I would hardly see him

    My issue:

    I have gotten accepted into 4 unis and waiting for my 5th to respond, I got my first choice ( I think it will be) which is northumbria which I'm buzzing about (sometimes) even though it close to homeish I plan on staying in their accommodation. I live with my mam and she has been super supportive and excited for me (even though its hurting her) but she isn't letting me effect my decision making as she doesn't want to hold me back.

    however the issue I have is with my dad and his girlfriend. they are trying to force me into taking a gap year when the thought of doing so makes me so depressed. my dad won't listen to me and thinks I am. His girlfriend is always telling me how I'm not ready and I will hate it then drop out of uni like she did. or they are saying to me stay at home which would mean it would take about 1 hour 10 mins each day to get there on public transport, to be honest I would prefer to keep that extra sleep and live away. however they are constantly telling me how Im not ready and how it will be a waste of money and debt ( I have told them its not bad debt like what they can have), the course I'm doing is a foundation year that will lead me onto a chemistry degree. however this course has other options to get onto a different course like food and nutrition (stuff that I hate) they are trying to persuade me from doing them.
    my dad has even offered me money to take a gap year but having one will kill me on the inside so much. they are constantly repeating how I can't do it ( I know I'm pretty dependant but who isn't?). however my dad can't talk as he never did a levels he has got a basic job with little skill and so has his girlfriend working in a call centre. he has just made a stronger presence when I was 16 so he can't even talk as he doesn't know me or get me ( we are 2 very different people) they even got me to research apprenticeships however the area of work I want to go into needs a degree at the bare minimum. I know it doesn't help I have a chemistry teacher but I do have a teacher at my 6th form incapable of teaching the spec so my tutor helps me and teaches me that work. I'm scared to bring this topic up, and the moment I got into northumbria they were like you are going there (I'm still considering others as its my life). however every time I do school work in their presence my dad says I work too hard and when I don't he calls me lazy and then gets on to me about my grades when he doesn't understand anything or me

    while typing this I'm boarder line crying and feel sick with anxiety thinking about those two, uni is gonna be the break I need and I know its gonna be big for the adjustments but I need this so much.

    sorry for this rant just a lot of locked up emotions I have and needed to get it out of me

    Olivia
    • Community Assistant
    • CV Helper
    Online

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Olivia_B99)
    ....
    I'm not sure how you are being 'forced' to take a gap year? Your Dad clearly doesn't understand what you want to do, or why you want to do it, or how degrees and professional careers work. Just smile and say 'I hear you Dad', and keep going on the path that you want and your Mum supports. Eventually, your Dad will probably see the sense in what you are doing, or he won't, but it still doesn't have to stop you.
    You seem to be doing a good job of taking control of your life, and thinking things out, so keep going and don't be dissuaded by people that haven't done as much research and planning as you have.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by threeportdrift)
    I'm not sure how you are being 'forced' to take a gap year? Your Dad clearly doesn't understand what you want to do, or why you want to do it, or how degrees and professional careers work. Just smile and say 'I hear you Dad', and keep going on the path that you want and your Mum supports. Eventually, your Dad will probably see the sense in what you are doing, or he won't, but it still doesn't have to stop you.
    You seem to be doing a good job of taking control of your life, and thinking things out, so keep going and don't be dissuaded by people that haven't done as much research and planning as you have.
    thank you for giving me a view of it as me being in all of it I can't always give advice to myself that I can so easily with others .I know forced might have not been the best choice I just feel like I am with how they approach the subject I feel trapped because of it. I think I'm just going to shut it out and maybe block them out for a little bit as I have more important things to concentrate on. my response at the moment is "I have a level exams coming up I don't need to think about it at the moment I can after my exams" while I try to keep it civil. and I'm going to avoid that conversation as much as I can while I apply for my accommodation and finances (the stuff that will cause confrontation)
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Just say as little as possible when he brings it up 'hmmm' 'yeah' etc and try not to bring up uni stuff yourself. Go ahead with whatever plans you have - it's your life and you need to live it your way or you'll regret the decisions you make. When it comes to moving just say 'well it's done and I'm going to uni, I'd have told you but you were putting too much pressure on me and I didn't want to argue anymore'. You've got your mum who is supportive so it's not like you're going to be alone.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 23, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
    Useful resources
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.