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He's using me for money and sex, but I don't (and do) care?

I'm 16 and gay, he's 19. We've been spending a lot of time together recently, hanging out, having sex, going out, etc. He says he really likes me as a person, and wants to be around me. I have a lot of money, and I've been paying for everything for him, because that's what I like to do anyway, and of course he doesn't say no. It's not for lack of looks, as I know I'm a good-looking guy, to sound arrogant, from what others say.

Today I paid his credit card bill for him, which was approximately £1200 (that doesn't mean anything to me, so physically it doesn't matter), he thanked me a lot, we had sex and then watched a film together. After the film when he was in the shower, I looked through his phone (I'm awful, shoot me), and he sent a text to his friend saying: 'Can't believe this guy I'm seeing just paid my credit card bill man. He's hot and good in bed, and is stupid enough to just pay anything I tell him to. Better not mess this one up, lot of good stuff coming my way if I keep stringing him along, just watched this crap film to keep him happy lol.'

I don't care on one hand because I'm getting what I want, but I care because he thinks I'm stupid (which I'm not), and he's saying he actually cares about me as a person, which he clearly doesn't, so that's annoying/upsetting me. I'm unsure what to do about him at this point; do I continue or not?
(edited 7 years ago)

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Reply 1
It's your own fault for paying the bill. He's obviously going to use you.
Even if you have money you can waste, you shouldnt be spending it on someone like that, break it off and cut your losses.
£1200? surely no sex is worth *that* much?
Sounds like he's finessing you
Original post by Ishax
It's your own fault for paying the bill. He's obviously going to use you.


I know it's my fault, I accept that. My problem is I'm confused as to whether I keep up the facade to get what I want (the sex) and the humour, or whether I confront him about what I saw, and not give him anything else. I am actually enjoying what we're doing, despite what he's said to his friend.

Original post by claireestelle
Even if you have money you can waste, you shouldnt be spending it on someone like that, break it off and cut your losses.


I have the money to waste, but I do feel upset that he's lying to me about wanting to spend actual time with me, other than having sex, to get the money. On the other hand, I'm thinking what would happen if I did confront him about it, and whether it's worth it emotionally.
Original post by Glassapple
I have the money to waste, but I do feel upset that he's lying to me about wanting to spend actual time with me, other than having sex, to get the money. On the other hand, I'm thinking what would happen if I did confront him about it, and whether it's worth it emotionally.

You're 16, there'll be plenty of better people out there to have sex with and might appreciate you, breaking it off will be worth it
Original post by sleepysnooze
£1200? surely no sex is worth *that* much?

Original post by saraxh
Sounds like he's finessing you


The money isn't the issue as it means nothing to me to be completely honest (and I'm not doing it because of lack of looks, as I know I'm good-looking and he's acknowledged that to his friend), it's the fact that he's being nice, funny and considerate to my face, but clearly doesn't mean it, shown by the text to his friend. I'm unsure whether to carry on the pretence that I haven't seen anything, or to confront him about it.
What? In the bum?
No sex is worth what he's doing to you, don't let him get away with this, I'd end this.
the things id do for £1200
Original post by claireestelle
You're 16, there'll be plenty of better people out there to have sex with and might appreciate you, breaking it off will be worth it


Original post by Rhythmical
No sex is worth what he's doing to you, don't let him get away with this, I'd end this.


I guess you're both right; it is upsettting me what he's doing. It's not just that bill; I've paid for a lot of other stuff he's wanted as well when we've gone out shopping, as well as his phone bill for this month.

He text me about an hour ago, asking how I was and that he was 'really looking forward' to hanging out with me again tomorrow, to which I haven't replied. The sex is good, and he is good at pretending to be interested in having other conversations with me about other stuff when we hang out. What should I say to him?
Reply 12
Original post by KyleH123
the things id do for £1200


:rofl: :rofl:
Original post by Glassapple
I guess you're both right; it is upsettting me what he's doing. It's not just that bill; I've paid for a lot of other stuff he's wanted as well when we've gone out shopping. He text me about an hour ago, asking how I was and that he was 'really looking forward' to hanging out with me again tomorrow, to which I haven't replied. The sex is good, and he is good at pretending to be interested in having other conversations with me about other stuff when we hang out. What should I say to him?


Hang out with him have sex all of that just don't spend cash don't outright say no just suggest activities that don't cost money.
Original post by Glassapple
I guess you're both right; it is upsettting me what he's doing. It's not just that bill; I've paid for a lot of other stuff he's wanted as well when we've gone out shopping, as well as his phone bill for this month.

He text me about an hour ago, asking how I was and that he was 'really looking forward' to hanging out with me again tomorrow, to which I haven't replied. The sex is good, and he is good at pretending to be interested in having other conversations with me about other stuff when we hang out. What should I say to him?

It's a situation to approach carefully, if you're just going to break it off, tell him that you dont want to be used in this way anymore and then cut contact.
Hang out with him have sex all of that just don't spend cash don't outright say no just suggest activities that don't cost money.
Original post by Glassapple
I guess you're both right; it is upsettting me what he's doing. It's not just that bill; I've paid for a lot of other stuff he's wanted as well when we've gone out shopping, as well as his phone bill for this month.

He text me about an hour ago, asking how I was and that he was 'really looking forward' to hanging out with me again tomorrow, to which I haven't replied. The sex is good, and he is good at pretending to be interested in having other conversations with me about other stuff when we hang out. What should I say to him?


I think you should say that you aren't feeling up to any of this, i.e you want to focus more on studies or just feel right now, you'd rather focus on yourself. Being honest about it will cause him to lash out.
Original post by Carthaginian
What? In the bum?


:rofl:
Original post by Carthaginian
What? In the bum?


Indeed.

Original post by KyleH123
the things id do for £1200


A lot of people think that, which is why it's so easy to be used.

Original post by niteninja1
Hang out with him have sex all of that just don't spend cash don't outright say no just suggest activities that don't cost money.


I could try that, but I don't think he'd like it. Plus I'd stupidly feel guilty for not spending more money on him.
Original post by Glassapple
Indeed.



A lot of people think that, which is why it's so easy to be used.



I could try that, but I don't think he'd like it. Plus I'd stupidly feel guilty for not spending more money on him.


Ewwww!

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