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He's using me for money and sex, but I don't (and do) care? Watch

    • #1
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    (Original post by Glassapple)
    Indeed.



    A lot of people think that, which is why it's so easy to be used.



    I could try that, but I don't think he'd like it. Plus I'd stupidly feel guilty for not spending more money on him.
    Do whatever makes you happy but at 16 remember you will meet other partners
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    jesus christ £1200? i gave my ex best friend a fiver a few years ago expecting it to be paid back. it wasn't. it still haunts me to this day
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    (Original post by Glassapple)
    I could try that, but I don't think he'd like it. Plus I'd stupidly feel guilty for not spending more money on him.
    People will continue to take advantage of you your entire life if you let them do that. Do you want them to consider you stupid?
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    (Original post by EC)
    People will continue to take advantage for you your entire life if you let them do that. Do you want them to consider you stupid?
    Its a two way street and he is getting some of what he wants. he only cares a little bit whether they think hes stupid. I suppose its nice to be liked for other reasons than just the money as without it then it wuldnt be happening.
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    0to100 would happily take it up the bum for £1200
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    (Original post by Arima)
    jesus christ £1200? i gave my ex best friend a fiver a few years ago expecting it to be paid back. it wasn't. it still haunts me to this day
    Yes, £1200 and more. I like spending money, people seem to want to take advantage of that.

    (Original post by EC)
    People will continue to take advantage of you your entire life if you let them do that. Do you want them to consider you stupid?
    This is the entire issue; I don't usually care what anybody actually thinks, but it does upset me that he's saying he thinks he has a genuine connection with me, and clearly he's just pretending. The sex is good and he's a funny guy, but he doesn't care. My issue is deciding whether I care that he doesn't care.

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Its a two way street and he is getting some of what he wants. he only cares a little bit whether they think hes stupid. I suppose its nice to be liked for other reasons than just the money as without it then it wuldnt be happening.
    He'd still want to have sex with me without the money, but we most probably wouldn't be doing anything else without it. I'm getting what I want, but does a pretend version of being liked as a person, plus the sex, make it worth it emotionally for me? I'm trying to answer that question. It is nice to be liked for other reasons apart from looks, sex and money, but deciding whether a fake version of those other reasons is good enough for me is difficult.
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    (Original post by Glassapple)


    He'd still want to have sex with me without the money, but we most probably wouldn't be doing anything else without it. I'm getting what I want, but does a pretend version of being liked as a person, plus the sex, make it worth it emotionally for me? I'm trying to answer that question. It is nice to be liked for other reasons apart from looks, sex and money, but deciding whether a fake version of those other reasons is good enough for me is difficult.
    Do you have many real friends? Do you think they like your personaliyy, your looks or your money? If you keep using your money in this way, hen thats the sort of person you are going to attract. Most people would be more comfortable not having to pay people fo their company. One of the things you are going to have to figure out how important that is.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Do you have many real friends? Do you think they like your personaliyy, your looks or your money? If you keep using your money in this way, hen thats the sort of person you are going to attract. Most people would be more comfortable not having to pay people fo their company. One of the things you are going to have to figure out how important that is.
    I have one 'real friend'. I don't like the typical rubbish of young life like social media, crap bands, pointless gossip, backstabbing, pretending to be somebody I'm not, football, etc. I'm 16 and I get fun from trying a different cheese from Waitrose each week. I like board games, Nintendo games, sightseeing, shopping, stuff like that. I still like some typical stuff like fashion and technology, but I can never really find people like me, who want to spend time doing stuff I want to do. That's where the money comes in, to at least give guys an incentive other than having sex with me, to spend time with me. At least that way I can pretend I'm not just an object to have sex with, even if they are still using me for that, and money.
    • #2
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    How do you have that much money at 16? Do
    Your parents k ow you're spending it on paying other people's bills?
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    (Original post by Glassapple)
    I have one 'real friend'. I don't like the typical rubbish of young life like social media, crap bands, pointless gossip, backstabbing, pretending to be somebody I'm not, football, etc. I'm 16 and I get fun from trying a different cheese from Waitrose each week. I like board games, Nintendo games, sightseeing, shopping, stuff like that. I still like some typical stuff like fashion and technology, but I can never really find people like me, who want to spend time doing stuff I want to do. That's where the money comes in, to at least give guys an incentive other than having sex with me, to spend time with me. At least that way I can pretend I'm not just an object to have sex with, even if they are still using me for that, and money.
    All sounds a bit unbalanced. You sound like you are used to getting your own way and that you need the money as an incentive for others.
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    (Original post by Glassapple)
    I'm 16 and gay, he's 19. We've been spending a lot of time together recently, hanging out, having sex, going out, etc. He says he really likes me as a person, and wants to be around me. I have a lot of money, and I've been paying for everything for him, because that's what I like to do anyway, and of course he doesn't say no. It's not for lack of looks, as I know I'm a good-looking guy, to sound arrogant, from what others say.

    Today I paid his credit card bill for him, which was approximately £1200 (that doesn't mean anything to me, so physically it doesn't matter), he thanked me a lot, we had sex and then watched a film together. After the film when he was in the shower, I looked through his phone (I'm awful, shoot me), and he sent a text to his friend saying: 'Can't believe this guy I'm seeing just paid my credit card bill man. He's hot and good in bed, and is stupid enough to just pay anything I tell him to. Better not mess this one up, lot of good stuff coming my way if I keep stringing him along, just watched this crap film to keep him happy lol.'

    I don't care on one hand because I'm getting what I want, but I care because he thinks I'm stupid (which I'm not), and he's saying he actually cares about me as a person, which he clearly doesn't, so that's annoying/upsetting me. I'm unsure what to do about him at this point; do I continue or not?
    Why does a 16 year old have lots of money?

    If you want to continue then do so. Sounds a bit like he's your escort but hey, what do I know?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How do you have that much money at 16? Do
    Your parents k ow you're spending it on paying other people's bills?
    (Original post by cherryred90s)
    Why does a 16 year old have lots of money? If you want to continue then do so. Sounds a bit like he's your escort but hey, what do I know?
    My parents are stupidly rich and don't care what I do with their money, that becomes my money day after day. They don't care what I do with it, so I do stuff like this.

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    All sounds a bit unbalanced. You sound like you are used to getting your own way and that you need the money as an incentive for others.
    I'm an unbalanced person and yes I am used to getting my own way. I know that's damaged me incredibly, but I can't do anything about that. I like giving incentives to get what I want, it's what I'm used to. If I want something I get it, no matter what it is.
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    (Original post by Glassapple)
    My parents are stupidly rich and don't care what I do with their money, that becomes my money day after day. They don't care what I do with it, so I do stuff like this.
    Ah I see.
    I'm sure they'd be proud of your wise spending habits.
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    You need to have some self respect for yourself and get out. How can you possibly allow yourself to be treated like a doormat? Dumbest thing i've read all day.
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    (Original post by cherryred90s)
    Ah I see.
    I'm sure they'd be proud of your wise spending habits.
    Ha well considering they just let me do what I want, they really don't care about my spending habits, no matter how unwise. They just keep putting incredibly large amounts of money in my account, everyday, with no questions. They spend their money stupidly as well, obviously not doing what I do though.

    I guess I'm used to having everything physically, then get upset when there's the chance or confirmation that's not going to happen emotionally, like with this guy. You're right, he does sound like my escort, but I'm fine with that. What I'm not fine with is him texting his friend crap about me; I was happy living in the bubble until I read that. I had to know though, and the opportunity to know was there.
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    (Original post by Glassapple)
    Ha well considering they just let me do what I want, they really don't care about my spending habits, no matter how unwise. They just keep putting incredibly large amounts of money in my account, everyday, with no questions. They spend their money stupidly as well, obviously not doing what I do though.

    I guess I'm used to having everything physically, then get upset when there's the chance or confirmation that's not going to happen emotionally, like with this guy. You're right, he does sound like my escort, but I'm fine with that. What I'm not fine with is him texting his friend crap about me; I was happy living in the bubble until I read that. I had to know though, and the opportunity to know was there.
    This may sound a little crazy, but don't you think you'd be better off saving the money instead of spending it on people who don't care about you?
    Now that you know what he thinks of you, you'd be very foolish to continue sleeping with him, but that's your call.
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    (Original post by cherryred90s)
    This may sound a little crazy, but don't you think you'd be better off saving the money instead of spending it on people who don't care about you?
    Now that you know what he thinks of you, you'd be very foolish to continue sleeping with him, but that's your call.
    It sounds arrogant, but I don't need to save because I have so much money anyway that there is literally no point. I have five accounts which have so much in, and continue to be deposited into by my parents everyday, that saving has become an irrelevant issue.

    I think I'll have to sleep on it to decide whether I'll keep sleeping with him. I like the sex, that he's spending time with me and that I'm making him happy with the sex and the money. I know I'm being used, but I have liked what we have done so far. It does upset me that I know what he really thinks and I know I should end it, but I was in a content bubble before I went compulsively looking at his phone. I haven't text him back yet after he text me at eight tonight, so it's open for now. I know that you and everyone else is right that it's wrong to continue with it, but situations like this are difficult for me to end as I'd miss him.
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      (Original post by Glassapple)
      It sounds arrogant, but I don't need to save because I have so much money anyway that there is literally no point. I have five accounts which have so much in, and continue to be deposited into by my parents everyday, that saving has become an irrelevant issue.

      I think I'll have to sleep on it to decide whether I'll keep sleeping with him. I like the sex, that he's spending time with me and that I'm making him happy with the sex and the money. I know I'm being used, but I have liked what we have done so far. It does upset me that I know what he really thinks and I know I should end it, but I was in a content bubble before I went compulsively looking at his phone. I haven't text him back yet after he text me at eight tonight, so it's open for now. I know that you and everyone else is right that it's wrong to continue with it, but situations like this are difficult for me to end as I'd miss him.
      Even millionaires save their money, but okay.

      He's not the only person that you can have sex with. You're better off finding someone who treats you with respect and doesn't want anything from you but to make you happy.
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      (Original post by cherryred90s)
      Even millionaires save their money, but okay.

      He's not the only person that you can have sex with. You're better off finding someone who treats you with respect and doesn't want anything from you but to make you happy.
      What I meant was I don't actively save because I have too much money to bother with the concept, in essence it's already saved and will continue to increase.

      I know I'm better off like you say, but realistically that's not going to happen any time soon, in regards to somebody who actually wants to make me happy. He's not the only person I can have sex with; I have sex with a lot of other guys as well, and do similar things like this situation with other guys. I want to be happy, but I don't want to live in the delusion it's going to happen at my age, with someone I'm actually going to really like, who just wants to make me happy. I guess we'll have to see what I tell him tomorrow. I'm so used to living like I am now that I can't see finding or being with someone like you describe.
     
     
     
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