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Am I wrong? - living situation.. Watch

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    I live in a flat of 4, but I tend to keep myself to myself - I use the kitchen very rarely now as it is so filthy so I don't really need to leave my bedroom unless it is to the bathroom. I'm in final year and after a rocky few years at university don't have much of a social life these days, but I go in to all of my lectures and go to the gym at least 4 times a week, so I'm not a total recluse.

    When I bump into my flatmates I'm always friendly with them and pretty outgoing, but really we don't have much in common with one another so I see no reason to really socialise with them. Most of my time is spent doing university work and this is my priority right now. On the other hand, my flatmates are pretty social and tend to go out most nights (with other friends).

    I've been pretty ill the last few days and two days ago in particular I was in bed resting from roughly 6pm. One of my flatmates had a few of their friends over and they were chilling in the kitchen all night.. I overheard them asking where I am, why I don't come out of my room, and that I'd at least be showing some respect by doing so. I'm not sure if it was meant in a jokey way but then my flatmate just started laughing and was like oh it's fine.. But she would have probably said more if I wasn't in the flat.

    It annoyed me especially because I can imagine my flatmate talking about me behind my back to them - she can be sweet but she does often badmouth her friends to me (even though we're not that close), so there's nothing to say she doesn't do the same about me.

    Is it wrong that I don't really leave my room, and is it disrespectful?! I just want to know if I am really in the wrong as this comment kind of annoyed me. Thanks!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I live in a flat of 4, but I tend to keep myself to myself - I use the kitchen very rarely now as it is so filthy so I don't really need to leave my bedroom unless it is to the bathroom. I'm in final year and after a rocky few years at university don't have much of a social life these days, but I go in to all of my lectures and go to the gym at least 4 times a week, so I'm not a total recluse.

    When I bump into my flatmates I'm always friendly with them and pretty outgoing, but really we don't have much in common with one another so I see no reason to really socialise with them. Most of my time is spent doing university work and this is my priority right now. On the other hand, my flatmates are pretty social and tend to go out most nights (with other friends).

    I've been pretty ill the last few days and two days ago in particular I was in bed resting from roughly 6pm. One of my flatmates had a few of their friends over and they were chilling in the kitchen all night.. I overheard them asking where I am, why I don't come out of my room, and that I'd at least be showing some respect by doing so. I'm not sure if it was meant in a jokey way but then my flatmate just started laughing and was like oh it's fine.. But she would have probably said more if I wasn't in the flat.

    It annoyed me especially because I can imagine my flatmate talking about me behind my back to them - she can be sweet but she does often badmouth her friends to me (even though we're not that close), so there's nothing to say she doesn't do the same about me.

    Is it wrong that I don't really leave my room, and is it disrespectful?! I just want to know if I am really in the wrong as this comment kind of annoyed me. Thanks!
    Try to ignore them. You're paying to live there, not to come out and entertain her mates. You're almost done with uni, so don't let the actions of people who've got nothing better to do than talk about other people bother you, and spoil your last year
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    Don't worry about it. Not everyone is extraverted or in the mood to socialize. Plus, you're a roommate, not their best friend. You already stated your perfectly logical reasons for not socializing with them. You don't have much in common, attend to studies, and you were sick and resting the other time. Nothing unreasonable about that.

    I've also been in a similar boat with my friends and their friends. I'm the "antisocial" one of the bunch, but I do try to make an effort to get out there and hang out with others. I've also experienced the types of people that would constantly bug me to hang out simply because I'm around their presence or be personally offended that I don't want to drink and hang out with them all the time. Most people who've any life experience realize that not everyone wants to socialize on the constant or has their own reasons for not doing so. You're not buds with your roommates, so there's no reason to force yourself to be with them. You're still polite and pay rent, so forget about it and don't let it bother you. If they are personally offended by you keeping to yourself, then that is their own problem.
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    It's not disrespectful at all to keep yourself to yourself. Actually that's not a bad type of flatmate to have. Especially by final year it's pretty normal to have people who have their own lives/friends and aren't all that interested in their flatmates.
 
 
 
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