Turn on thread page Beta

Advice on my new girlfriend watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So I'm in my first year of college studying four AS levels, and college has marked a huge change for me as a person and my life. School was pretty depressing for me, didn't have participated many friends, I lacked self confidence and had very bad social skills. This mean I rarely went out on the weekend, never got invited to parties and I didn't even go to prom. I completely lacked motivation and didn't really put the work in my GCSEs. Regardless I did great in my exams and came out with 10 GCSEs. I was always a friendly guy and was often seen as funny, but my lacking confidence and social skills meant I gave the impression I didn't really want much to do with others who I weren't already close with. In this respect I was sort of seen as the cool kid of the uncool kids or the 'inbetweener'.

    I was an aloof guy who people liked, but I wasn't putting myself out there to really make friends, and more specifically make any close female friends. Meaning during school I never had a girlfriend, never kissed and girl and had never had sex. I felt really left out when so many people my age had had multiple relationships and seemed to pick up a new girlfriend like it was nothing, and I'm there struggling to even make friends with girls.

    I saw college as this new opportunity to start a new me, make lots of new friends, and hopefully find out what it really feels like to have a girl, have someone to care about. Somehow, it happened. I started going to the gym, got a job and began dressing my best, tried my best to act confident and just be myself and be proud of who I am. Before I knew it I had a new group of pretty close friends, as well as my circle of close mates from school. I was really happy, i was now 'cool'. I went to parties, went out alot with friends and i was really happy. Being a 'cool' kid simply made me realise even more how much I wanted a girl, how much I wanted somebody to care for, and to care for me. Somebody to be close with. I didn't feel like I fitted in, many of my new friends currently has a girlfriend and had many others before, had multiple sexual encounters and just seemed so confident and seemed to go from girl to girl like it was nothing. Anyway I wasn't like this, I wanted a girl for some period of time, not just for a quick session in bed, but surely I needed to learn how to even get a girl first. I began excepting rejection and just put myself out there. I met a girl through two of my close friends who we began going out with on weekends, from the first time I saw her I knew i fancied her, had no idea she liked me back however. Anyway I built up the courage to begin texting her and began telling her how I felt. I have now known her for around 4 months, and we were 'speaking' and seeing each other for around 1-2 months. Finally the other day we came to the agreement that we were official. So I now have my first proper relationship with a girl who I really care about, we see each other out of college once or twice a week. Simply put my question is I need advice on making moves. Being she is my first girlfriend and she is much more experienced than me, my inner lack of self confidencd is showing again. I always wait for her to make moves, and i know she wants me to. We have made out everytime we go round to each others houses, and had a minute 'sexual' encounter, I've seen her breasts and made them a subject during a missing session, and she's sort of teased me, touching through underwear and the likes but all of these things have been initiated by her and I don't think that's good for me. In other words the sexual tension is really high and I need advice on how to make the move. I'm just worried I won't be good enough even though feel Im ready.

    So I have a few questions basically-

    1) Alot of reading shows that the average age to lose your virginity is 16/17, and this seems true based on how many people my age have lost theirs. What I don't understand is how do so many people that age manage to have sex when they live in a house with parents and families? As is our kissing sessions tend to be wary based on a worry of somebody walking in.

    2) Regarding hygiene, how do guys ensure their penis is clean and doesn't have a smell? I also worry about potential getting sexual after using the toilet for example

    3) I have a tight frenulum meaning the foreskin sort of bunched up when retracted, is this still ok to use a condom while the foreskin is retracted?

    4) i have a huge issue with precum when around her, is there a way to fix this?

    5) how do I go about making the move with her ?

    6) now I have a girlfriend what do i do next? How do I ensure it is a good relationship and everything goes well?

    Sorry for this extremely long post, but I needed to get this off my head and I appreciate any reassurance and advice.
    • Section Leader
    • Very Important Poster
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    Online

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Section Leader
    Very Important Poster
    Peer Support Volunteers
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I'm in my first year of college studying four AS levels, and college has marked a huge change for me as a person and my life. School was pretty depressing for me, didn't have participated many friends, I lacked self confidence and had very bad social skills. This mean I rarely went out on the weekend, never got invited to parties and I didn't even go to prom. I completely lacked motivation and didn't really put the work in my GCSEs. Regardless I did great in my exams and came out with 10 GCSEs. I was always a friendly guy and was often seen as funny, but my lacking confidence and social skills meant I gave the impression I didn't really want much to do with others who I weren't already close with. In this respect I was sort of seen as the cool kid of the uncool kids or the 'inbetweener'.

    I was an aloof guy who people liked, but I wasn't putting myself out there to really make friends, and more specifically make any close female friends. Meaning during school I never had a girlfriend, never kissed and girl and had never had sex. I felt really left out when so many people my age had had multiple relationships and seemed to pick up a new girlfriend like it was nothing, and I'm there struggling to even make friends with girls.

    I saw college as this new opportunity to start a new me, make lots of new friends, and hopefully find out what it really feels like to have a girl, have someone to care about. Somehow, it happened. I started going to the gym, got a job and began dressing my best, tried my best to act confident and just be myself and be proud of who I am. Before I knew it I had a new group of pretty close friends, as well as my circle of close mates from school. I was really happy, i was now 'cool'. I went to parties, went out alot with friends and i was really happy. Being a 'cool' kid simply made me realise even more how much I wanted a girl, how much I wanted somebody to care for, and to care for me. Somebody to be close with. I didn't feel like I fitted in, many of my new friends currently has a girlfriend and had many others before, had multiple sexual encounters and just seemed so confident and seemed to go from girl to girl like it was nothing. Anyway I wasn't like this, I wanted a girl for some period of time, not just for a quick session in bed, but surely I needed to learn how to even get a girl first. I began excepting rejection and just put myself out there. I met a girl through two of my close friends who we began going out with on weekends, from the first time I saw her I knew i fancied her, had no idea she liked me back however. Anyway I built up the courage to begin texting her and began telling her how I felt. I have now known her for around 4 months, and we were 'speaking' and seeing each other for around 1-2 months. Finally the other day we came to the agreement that we were official. So I now have my first proper relationship with a girl who I really care about, we see each other out of college once or twice a week. Simply put my question is I need advice on making moves. Being she is my first girlfriend and she is much more experienced than me, my inner lack of self confidencd is showing again. I always wait for her to make moves, and i know she wants me to. We have made out everytime we go round to each others houses, and had a minute 'sexual' encounter, I've seen her breasts and made them a subject during a missing session, and she's sort of teased me, touching through underwear and the likes but all of these things have been initiated by her and I don't think that's good for me. In other words the sexual tension is really high and I need advice on how to make the move. I'm just worried I won't be good enough even though feel Im ready.

    So I have a few questions basically-

    1) Alot of reading shows that the average age to lose your virginity is 16/17, and this seems true based on how many people my age have lost theirs. What I don't understand is how do so many people that age manage to have sex when they live in a house with parents and families? As is our kissing sessions tend to be wary based on a worry of somebody walking in.

    2) Regarding hygiene, how do guys ensure their penis is clean and doesn't have a smell? I also worry about potential getting sexual after using the toilet for example

    3) I have a tight frenulum meaning the foreskin sort of bunched up when retracted, is this still ok to use a condom while the foreskin is retracted?

    4) i have a huge issue with precum when around her, is there a way to fix this?

    5) how do I go about making the move with her ?

    6) now I have a girlfriend what do i do next? How do I ensure it is a good relationship and everything goes well?

    Sorry for this extremely long post, but I needed to get this off my head and I appreciate any reassurance and advice.
    I think different people are comfortable with different levels of sexual things when a parent is home, most parents of teenagers would know to knock on a door. Good relationships are about communication so talk to her about how you're feeling.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 22, 2017
Poll
Do you think parents should charge rent?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.