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I wish people knew... Watch

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    Yesterday I saw a post about a teacher doing an "I wish my teacher knew..." activity and it made me think how everybody has something they wish people knew or understood more about them. So I thought it may be nice to do a similar activity on here. Who knows, maybe it will help some people or prompt some interesting conversation.
    You can post anon (duh) and it can be anything from something you are proud of to something difficult you haven't opened up about or something you don't think people understand about you.

    I'll start it off... I wish people knew how proud I am of being able to graduate eventhough it's only from first year and I dropped out in my second. I am really excited for my graduation- after so much going wrong in my life it's the only dream of mine i've been able to push through and reach- but after my bf and brother both graduated fully I feel like it's not as big a deal to anybody else.

    Aaaand GO!
    • #1
    #1

    I wish people knew how much I'm struggling. That I shouldn't have to put my mental health to the backseat, to look after others.
    I wish people knew that sometimes I'm human too and that I too have feelings.
    I wish people understood that I need 'me' time as I can feel the toll it's taking to not be able to take that time out.
    I wish a certain someone knew the negative effects they are having on my life.

    ^sorry slightly morbid :dontknow:
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    I wish my family knew how much I struggle to do the simplest things, regardless of whether it's something I enjoy or not. Most days, just getting out of bed can be a huge achievement for me, even though I go on to achieve a lot more things that day. But no one ever sees that. They just assume that because it's something I've volunteered to do or used to enjoy or wanted to sign up for, that I've got the headspace, energy, good will and all those other positive things needed to do it

    On a slightly more positive note, I wish I knew how to be more proud of getting my undergrad degree. I'm always so down about it but at the end of the day I don't think most people thought I would pass. Hell, I'm not sure why I did it and thought I could pass. The fact I got that degree at all is a minor miracle, so I wish I knew how to be proud of it and own it and be like HELL YEAH!
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    Great idea for a thread

    I wish people knew that I talk about my mental illnesses openly not for attention, but to raise awareness. I've never understood the whole "you talk about it for attention" thing because the attention you often get for talking about it as that you are weird, weak, crazy, a drama queen etc. Its never the attention that anyone wants. Since I have spoken openly about my conditions, especially OCD, many people - even those close to me, admitted they knew nothing or very little about the condition and even admitted they bought into typical misconceptions such as "we all have a touch of OCD", "OCD only means you wash your hands a lot" and "OCD is a quirk, not an illness" and I'm happy to say, they now know the truth about the condition and don't make remarks like "I'm so OCD!" any more.

    I also want people to know that I don't see myself as brave for talking about it, in my opinion, we should be able to talk about anything in life. Nothing should be taboo, especially when it comes to health. I would rather be seen as brave for dealing with the conditions day in, day out and on the outside to many people, I will look healthy and fine and look as though I have a good grip of myself and I am getting on with things which shows me that I am improving and I am adapting to what I have but not letting it get full on control of me like I once allowed it to and to me, true bravery comes from facing your demons and I have but I know I'll have many more demons to face in life, I've only concurred one right now but fighting that one demo will help me and allow me to help others and also help me find strength when it comes to other challenges I'll face in life because I now know I'm stronger than what I thought I was. I'm not bulletproof but I'm not as paper thin weak as I thought I was either.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wish people knew how much I'm struggling. That I shouldn't have to put my mental health to the backseat, to look after others.
    I wish people knew that sometimes I'm human too and that I too have feelings.
    I wish people understood that I need 'me' time as I can feel the toll it's taking to not be able to take that time out.
    I wish a certain someone knew the negative effects they are having on my life.

    ^sorry slightly morbid :dontknow:
    No need to apologise. The whole point of this thread is to open up about the things you wouldn't usually.
    I know how difficult it can be trying to juggle yourself and other people's well-being. I think I spent quite a bit of time trying hard to help others cos I didn't want anybody else to suffer and wanted to be a good friend. You can't help others if you're in a poor state yourself though so you do need to put yourself first even if it feel mean.
    Sounds like you are being spread pretty thin and need to make a point of working on you a bit. Maybe you can find a way to make it clearer to people that you need your own time to help yourself. If nothing else works you may just have to put your foot down and make some time for yourself.

    I don't know what the last bit refers to, but if you want to go into any more detail do. It's pretty generalised advice, but sometimes you need to tell people how you feel and if they are doing something that is unhelpful.

    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    I wish my family knew how much I struggle to do the simplest things, regardless of whether it's something I enjoy or not. Most days, just getting out of bed can be a huge achievement for me, even though I go on to achieve a lot more things that day. But no one ever sees that. They just assume that because it's something I've volunteered to do or used to enjoy or wanted to sign up for, that I've got the headspace, energy, good will and all those other positive things needed to do it

    On a slightly more positive note, I wish I knew how to be more proud of getting my undergrad degree. I'm always so down about it but at the end of the day I don't think most people thought I would pass. Hell, I'm not sure why I did it and thought I could pass. The fact I got that degree at all is a minor miracle, so I wish I knew how to be proud of it and own it and be like HELL YEAH!
    :hug: I'm sorry people don't realise how hard things are for you and how awesome you are for managing to do what you do. I tend to find people are over-sensitive when I want them to leave me alone and totally oblivious when I want a bit of support or recognition. I think sometimes people can be so worried about how to treat somebody "fragile" that they end up with totally alien responses. Sometimes they can just be a bit ignorant too though.

    You should totally be proud of your degree! Anybody should be proud of a degree let alone somebody who can struggle with general life. I hope you find a way to be proud of yourself. I think I was a bit blocked at one point cos I felt like I should have been able to do more, but then I realised that the things that blocked me from doing better also made what I did achieve so much more of an achievement.

    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    Great idea for a thread

    I wish people knew that I talk about my mental illnesses openly not for attention, but to raise awareness. I've never understood the whole "you talk about it for attention" thing because the attention you often get for talking about it as that you are weird, weak, crazy, a drama queen etc. Its never the attention that anyone wants. Since I have spoken openly about my conditions, especially OCD, many people - even those close to me, admitted they knew nothing or very little about the condition and even admitted they bought into typical misconceptions such as "we all have a touch of OCD", "OCD only means you wash your hands a lot" and "OCD is a quirk, not an illness" and I'm happy to say, they now know the truth about the condition and don't make remarks like "I'm so OCD!" any more.

    I also want people to know that I don't see myself as brave for talking about it, in my opinion, we should be able to talk about anything in life. Nothing should be taboo, especially when it comes to health. I would rather be seen as brave for dealing with the conditions day in, day out and on the outside to many people, I will look healthy and fine and look as though I have a good grip of myself and I am getting on with things which shows me that I am improving and I am adapting to what I have but not letting it get full on control of me like I once allowed it to and to me, true bravery comes from facing your demons and I have but I know I'll have many more demons to face in life, I've only concurred one right now but fighting that one demo will help me and allow me to help others and also help me find strength when it comes to other challenges I'll face in life because I now know I'm stronger than what I thought I was. I'm not bulletproof but I'm not as paper thin weak as I thought I was either.
    I can never quite understand how people see OCD. I see so many different reactions to it and statements about it that I swear people are all talking about different things. I mean to be fair OCD is a pretty diverse category and it is a pretty new discovery medically so there's not as much info on it as other stuff, but people can be understanding and supportive of cancer and other physical issues when they probably don't know that much about how it works.

    The attention thing is just crazy. I mean I get that some people actually do it, but seriously, why? I find it odd how some people kinda have the defensive "you can't lie about things like that" thing down, but don't actually know what they're defending.

    I can see why people would say it's brave. There is a lot of taboo on talking about difficult topics and personal things and yet more on mental health in general, so it is pretty brave to open up to people about it. I wish it wasn't so unusual for people to open up about stuff like that cos it's so hard for other people to understand that there really does need to be more talk about it.

    I think once you add something so big to your description people find it hard to process and either really latch onto it or kinda ignore it most of the time. I guess that's why it's so easy to feel like one minuet people think you're so delicate and the next they think you're solid as a rock. I saw a thing about the autistic spectrum earlier and people having a similar reaction with that. Just like with autism, the spectrum isn't just hig or low, there's loads of different categories. I can have OCD and be fine with a messy desk, but have issues with sharing food or be fine without washing my hands every five seconds, but it still be important to me to wash them before eating. Just cos somebody has OCD it doesn't mean they have everything you know about it, and just cos they're strong in one area it doesn't mean they suddenly don't have issues in others.

    I wish people would stop trying to fit other people into categories and just get to know them for them. Nothing is the same for everybody, OCD included.

    Anyway thanks for your response. I guess you can tell that OCD is one of my rant topics
    • #2
    #2

    I wish people knew me. The real me.
    • #3
    #3

    i wish people knew what really goes on in my life, between my parents, my grades, finance and most importantly, i wish people knew how much my family and i struggled when my brother was at his worst and how happy i am for him now for battling with one of the worst things someone could have to deal with alone. and im extremely grateful for the people who helped him through it! he now has a place to call his own and he visits everyday! i love him so much, probably more than my older brother because throughout all that he has done to me, i never stopped loving him and now thats all past us.

    i wish people knew the real struggles i faced and how that reflects on my personality because im not easily sensitive because im weak but because i've been through so much. happiness makes me cry. happiness is one of the most beautiful things out there

    i wish people knew how much their words hurt me alongside what was going at home

    i wish i could let people know what had been going on for 4 years that my family has just recently overcome. but i can't, despite the fact that its over, if i let them know, i'd be viewed differently
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    How are people meant to know if you don't tell them, we aren't all just proffesor x. Everyone's got **** going on behind closed doors and people won't know unless it escalates too far or you tell them
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Kindred)
    Yesterday I saw a post about a teacher doing an "I wish my teacher knew..." activity and it made me think how everybody has something they wish people knew or understood more about them. So I thought it may be nice to do a similar activity on here. Who knows, maybe it will help some people or prompt some interesting conversation.
    You can post anon (duh) and it can be anything from something you are proud of to something difficult you haven't opened up about or something you don't think people understand about you.

    I'll start it off... I wish people knew how proud I am of being able to graduate eventhough it's only from first year and I dropped out in my second. I am really excited for my graduation- after so much going wrong in my life it's the only dream of mine i've been able to push through and reach- but after my bf and brother both graduated fully I feel like it's not as big a deal to anybody else.

    Aaaand GO!
    I wish people knew how much I'm hurting, how broken I am and how I hate getting up every day, and how I just pretend to be happy just so I can get through it all!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wish people knew how much I'm hurting, how broken I am and how I hate getting up every day, and how I just pretend to be happy just so I can get through it all!
    You spoke to your GP or seen a therapist ?
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by Kindred)
    No need to apologise. The whole point of this thread is to open up about the things you wouldn't usually.
    I know how difficult it can be trying to juggle yourself and other people's well-being. I think I spent quite a bit of time trying hard to help others cos I didn't want anybody else to suffer and wanted to be a good friend. You can't help others if you're in a poor state yourself though so you do need to put yourself first even if it feel mean.
    Sounds like you are being spread pretty thin and need to make a point of working on you a bit. Maybe you can find a way to make it clearer to people that you need your own time to help yourself. If nothing else works you may just have to put your foot down and make some time for yourself.

    I don't know what the last bit refers to, but if you want to go into any more detail do. It's pretty generalised advice, but sometimes you need to tell people how you feel and if they are doing something that is unhelpful.
    Okay
    I have talked many atimes with regards to my feelings to no avail. Now I've given up on it, as I'm just told to accept things as they are and be kind and tolerant as this person has been through a really tough time. I live with said person, and my circumstances are such that it's impossible to avoid the person and not possible for me to move out-which would be the ideal solution.
    In more detail, said person following a nasty breakup in their life with loads of things coming apparent after the break up, became a bit hard to live with. Constantly picking fights wih me, degrading me, ceitical to my looks, the way I act, the way I talk and anything really. At first I could ignore it but now it's having a bad effect on my mental health -namely because I've been through emotional bullying when i was at school 5 years ago, and I'm still not over that.
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    I wish I didn't' lie each time a friend texts and asks how I am. I wish I was better at talking about my emotions, how I actually feel and whats going on. I wish things were different, and I didn't feel so guilty, selfish and needy all at the same time. I wish I was there for my mate when she needs me most.
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    I wish people knew how much I dislike myself and that's it's because of what my parents used to say to me when I was a child. Now whenever they shout at me for something small such as leaving a plate in my room, I have flashbacks of being called worthless as a 10 year-old. Being hit up to ten times in a day. Being told that if was put for sale on a market, I wouldn't even be worth 1 pence. Being told that I'm as useless as a turd in a swimming pool. Being told That I'm ugly. Being told that my friends only pretend to like me. Being called pathetic for having no self-confidence. Hmmm I wonder why?
    Nothing hurts more than having these things said to you by the woman who brought you into this world in the first place.
    • #5
    #5

    I wish people knew that despite my strength I still want to be taken care of sometimes, and it's not okay to put me through more sh*t because "I'm strong and I'll handle it" nor because "I've been through sh*t in the past so I'll be ok with some more"
    • #6
    #6

    I wish every single person could be genuinely happy all the time.
    I always try to not take it for granted when I'm really happy but today is one of those days where I feel nothing but opposite. I've been ill (physically) for the past few weeks and have gone back into uni feeling like I've been forgotten and am a nausence just for being there again.
    • #6
    #6

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wish every single person could be genuinely happy all the time.
    I always try to not take it for granted when I'm really happy but today is one of those days where I feel nothing but opposite. I've been ill (physically) for the past few weeks and have gone back into uni feeling like I've been forgotten and am a nausence just for being there again.
    Sorry I meant to put at the top "I wish people knew how left out I always feel"
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    I wish my teachers knew how poor I really am. Going to a grammar sixth form many are quite affluent and while there are those that arent - they or at least most are way above me. My family income is about 5-6k a year, to feed 5 of us. Getting to achool is a financial struggle for me, but when questioned on my attendance they dont seem to be able to comprehend how poor we really are.

    I also wish people knew how much i struggle with basic social things. I have diagnosed aspergers but hide it quite well. Despite telling some people most dispute that I have it because i can be loud, outgoing and enjoy public speaking. What they dont see is the anxiety when I meet anyone new, me not saying much to people untill I've known tbem for a while because I'm desperate not to push them away, and my struggles with small scale social interaction - hating talking to people one to one and trying to build lasting relationships. I hate the fact that I get no support from school because theres no visible symptoms to anyone that I dont know well, and most of all i hate that any time I put something down to my aspergers its written off as just an excuse
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    I wish people knew how sensitive I am right now. One sentence and I can drop to suicidal.

    Not to blame them. Just want them to understand how my mood is changing so much at the moment.
    • #8
    #8

    I wish people knew that I'm serious when I say "I would date you." It's a pain in the neck to only know cute straight girls that are fine with being touchy.
    • #9
    #9

    I wish my parents would know that they've destroyed me. That my dad said too many things I shouldn't have heard. That he shouldn't have bad mouthed my own mother infront of me despite him bringing me up since birth. That he has other children and I hate being the favourite. I wish he'd had me when he was younger so I wouldn't have to worry about his health. And so he couldn't pull the 'I'm not going to have long left, I am more important than your sports career'. I am a caring person but THIS IS NOT FAIR. I wish my mum had had the abortion instead of choosing money and keeping me. That I'm grateful she gave me up to have a better life, but it shouldn't have been for money. That I don't hate her despite me not seeing her since I was 18. I wish I had a mum. I wish my parents knew that the best thing they've ever taught me is how not to be a parent.

    I wish my friends knew that they are the family I chose. And though I've grown apart from many of them, I don't regret any of our friendships. I have the memories and will treasure them. I also wish that I wasn't scared about what's going to happen when we all graduate. I want nothing to do with my family but I don't know who else I'll have left and that scares me. I love you all.

    I wish my special girl would know I still like her, that I'm in love with her. I wish she would know that she is one of the best things in my life and I literally couldn't live without her. I wish she knew how often she's saved my life and how she can always make me smile. I wish she knew that although I am in a very bad place right now and she knows this, I want to be in a relationship with her. I know that she wasn't in the right place to have a relationship back then, and I don't know if she's still not ready, but I could handle one with her.

    I wish everyone knew how sad I am, that I'm not coping well at all. I wish they all knew how I used to self-harm when I was younger and although that didn't last long at all, I'm struggling right now to not hurt myself again. I can't cope with university anymore and don't want to be here and am turning to drugs to cope. I've tried seeing someone and in the end it didn't work because I refused meds. I'm going to try seeing someone else but I'm scared.
    I wish everyone knew how scared of myself and life I am.
 
 
 
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