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    (Original post by dp16fuf)
    She goes to the landlord when i stand up to her and tries to get me in trouble. If im honest im scared that if i stand up to her itll get worse than it already is! I do think there is some jealousy but i dont understand why she has to act like this!
    How does she try to get you into more trouble? Your landlord should not take sides or believe one party over the other.

    I understand why you would feel scared, especially since she and her mum are scummy and send you nasty messages.

    How long is the tenancy agreement for? What does it stipulate about moving out? Because if you can find somewhere else and live more comfortably I would suggest that. Life is too short for *****y people.
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    (Original post by dp16fuf)
    I honestly dont know anymore! thats what im tempted to do
    Your landlord and the government are the only two *people* who have any kind of legal authority over you. This girl is not your friend, she does not even do her duty of looking after the house. She is a tenant, just like you are, she has as many right as you do and no more.

    Next time she tells you to do something, say no, those are your rules not mine.
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    (Original post by SinsNotTragedies)
    How does she try to get you into more trouble? Your landlord should not take sides or believe one party over the other.

    I understand why you would feel scared, especially since she and her mum are scummy and send you nasty messages.

    How long is the tenancy agreement for? What does it stipulate about moving out? Because if you can find somewhere else and live more comfortably I would suggest that. Life is too short for *****y people.
    I'd have to find someone to take my place and noone wants it ive tried. Her mum even sends my mum messages which is unacceptable. She tells him all of the things she doesnt like about me
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    (Original post by dp16fuf)
    I'd have to find someone to take my place and noone wants it ive tried. Her mum even sends my mum messages which is unacceptable. She tells him all of the things she doesnt like about me
    Honestly what kind of scum are these people.

    Tell your mom she's a horrible cow and to block her on social media as she isn't a friend.
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    She shouldn't be banning your friends and the social media comments are just pathetic - she definitely sounds like a nasty piece of work. That being said, she has agreed to share a flat with one other person not a couple. If your boyfriend was to stay 'whenever he wants' like you ask, then that would just be plain annoying and actually quite disrespectful imo. I personally don't see what's wrong with agreeing to a number of nights he can stay over, if 3 is too little for you then suggest 4 but be mindful that is more than half of the week.
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    (Original post by dp16fuf)
    I'd have to find someone to take my place and noone wants it ive tried. Her mum even sends my mum messages which is unacceptable. She tells him all of the things she doesnt like about me
    You must evince this all to her. Pull her up on her behaviour and tell her that only the landlord may exercise authority over you. Tell her to read her tenancy agreement and clean every once in a while as well.

    Delete her off social media too, but make sure to record all messages in case issues arise in the future.
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    (Original post by dp16fuf)
    I'd have to find someone to take my place and noone wants it ive tried. Her mum even sends my mum messages which is unacceptable. She tells him all of the things she doesnt like about me
    That sounds awfully much as harassment. I'm not sure about the UK law, but could you get a restraining order for that?
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    (Original post by dp16fuf)
    Its a flat which has the capacity of 3 people. We've spoken to the landlord and he has no issue with it as my fiancé rents a property from him as well.
    Then get your LL to speak to the other tenant. I dont think she us being unreasonable with 3rd persons who arent paying rent coming to stay at the flat for extended periods. Maybe offer to pay soem of the bills or make a contribution.

    It sounds more like a case of you not liking each other and one of you needing to move out. The messages are out of irder. She cant ban people as she has no siperior righst to you, but she cna complain to the LL. All sounds very tedious.
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    (Original post by dp16fuf)
    I'm not sure. I wouldn't want to do that i just want her to be more compassionate and understand the situation just as i would with her
    You tried from September until now, and I see you didn't have any result. Unless you want to spent the rest of your tenancy in the same situation, you must change your perspective and your actions.
    And accept that you might not find a common ground with her, and it could become "it's me or her". But thinking that her mother is acting just like her, I don't see how you could be more influential over your flatmate than her.

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    Speak to CAB tbh not a student forum.
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    (Original post by dp16fuf)
    Whenever he wants wasn't the correct term- sorry. It's more of a case that he has nowhere else to go. He's not interfering and i understand that she signed up to live with me and i'd understand that more if she actually wanted to spend time with me but all she ever does is stay in her room, she eats, sleeps and lives in there so im all on my own
    I understand but your boyfriend's housing issue isn't her concern especially as you two aren't even friends. The truth is that often the presence of couples can be rather annoying - I know that I would never opt to live in accommodation with a couple/couples. I don't really understand why her wanting to spend more time with you would help you understand why she doesn't want your boyfriend around often? She may not be interested in spending time with you but she's also not interested in spending time around another almost stranger (I assume he's practically a stranger to her?)

    Anyway, this is a sticky situation and I think you really have to be firm with her about the nasty things she says on social media because it's unacceptable. Have you ever brought up the things she has said or has it never been discussed?
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    This is the sort of thing I'd hate. Feel sorry for you.

    All I'd say, which is basically what others have said is stand your ground, you have a go at her for leaving the flat in a mess and if she says you do it, just say no I won't. Best thing I can say is threaten her, if she threatens to leave, good riddance.
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    Damn dude go to your landlord about her and tell the ******* to go shove it where the sun doesn't shine.
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    I'd treat her dismissively, actually - to put her in her place a bit. The more you react to her, the more you give the impression that she has some sort of right to be doing this sort of thing. Have you tried to casually tell her "please mind your own business and I'll mind mine' - in a 'run along, weirdo' kind of way?
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    **** on her pillow, do it for the bants. Smack the fat ****.
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    (Original post by dp16fuf)
    shes already had a meeting with the landlord without telling me and he's called her pathetic
    then why are you still listening to her? Unless you're doing something which will damage the landlord's property it's unlikely he will care about petty flatmates disagreements, he certainly won't care who takes out the bins or has a boyfriend stay over

    you need to just stop doing as she tells you, immediately, the longer you do it the more she will feel she can demand anything she likes from you - stop and no matter how nasty she gets, stand your ground, it might actually be better if you ahve your boyfriend stay during this period so if she gets really nasty you have some back up, if she won't take the bin out then use a separate bin and keep it elsewhere, if she won't buy toilet paper keep it in your room, do not cook her anything, don't clean her **** up, don't do anything she tells you to

    if she continues to act crazy at that point then you need to reevaluate how you deal with her (e.g. by contacting the landlord and insisting you need a 'safe' environment and she's threatening you) but fix your behaviour first
 
 
 
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