Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

my mum keeps demanding money from me Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Im in my final year at uni and throughout my uni life I have given my mum £2000 of the £6000 i get at student finance.

    In 2nd year i worked part time, but it drained me because i was always tired and had no time to study. my grades during that year were not great either - i was getting mid to low 2.1's in my assignments etc.

    My mum is a single parent who earns less than 18,000 a year and wants me to give her more money from student finance. In an ideal world she wants me to work part time whilst studying full time and i cannot do that as this is my final year and i want to give it my best shot. Also, I have an extra module this semester so there is no way i'd be able to keep up a job. I keep saying to her that as soon as i finish my exams i will get a job somewhere (anything really as it will only be temporary till i get a proper job using my degree). I had previously told her that i could only give her £2000 and she was ok with it. Now shes started saying that i need to give more because it isnt enough and that im greedy for keeping £4000 to myself etc etc... i honestly dont know what to do! please give me advice and tips. she is always nagging at me saying that when she was my age her life was a lot harder blah blah blah. how can she honestly expect me to actually pay her what she considers enough when im only a student?!!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Im in my final year at uni and throughout my uni life I have given my mum £2000 of the £6000 i get at student finance.

    In 2nd year i worked part time, but it drained me because i was always tired and had no time to study. my grades during that year were not great either - i was getting mid to low 2.1's in my assignments etc.

    My mum is a single parent who earns less than 18,000 a year and wants me to give her more money from student finance. In an ideal world she wants me to work part time whilst studying full time and i cannot do that as this is my final year and i want to give it my best shot. Also, I have an extra module this semester so there is no way i'd be able to keep up a job. I keep saying to her that as soon as i finish my exams i will get a job somewhere (anything really as it will only be temporary till i get a proper job using my degree). I had previously told her that i could only give her £2000 and she was ok with it. Now shes started saying that i need to give more because it isnt enough and that im greedy for keeping £4000 to myself etc etc... i honestly dont know what to do! please give me advice and tips. she is always nagging at me saying that when she was my age her life was a lot harder blah blah blah. how can she honestly expect me to actually pay her what she considers enough when im only a student?!!
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Im in my final year at uni and throughout my uni life I have given my mum £2000 of the £6000 i get at student finance.

    In 2nd year i worked part time, but it drained me because i was always tired and had no time to study. my grades during that year were not great either - i was getting mid to low 2.1's in my assignments etc.

    My mum is a single parent who earns less than 18,000 a year and wants me to give her more money from student finance. In an ideal world she wants me to work part time whilst studying full time and i cannot do that as this is my final year and i want to give it my best shot. Also, I have an extra module this semester so there is no way i'd be able to keep up a job. I keep saying to her that as soon as i finish my exams i will get a job somewhere (anything really as it will only be temporary till i get a proper job using my degree). I had previously told her that i could only give her £2000 and she was ok with it. Now shes started saying that i need to give more because it isnt enough and that im greedy for keeping £4000 to myself etc etc... i honestly dont know what to do! please give me advice and tips. she is always nagging at me saying that when she was my age her life was a lot harder blah blah blah. how can she honestly expect me to actually pay her what she considers enough when im only a student?!!
    Also forgot to mention that this year, my grades are way better than they were in 2nd year! luckily im getting 70s in my assignments!!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    She's supposed to be supporting you, not the other way around. If she can't afford her lifestyle or whatever she needs money for she needs to find herself a better paid job. In all honesty she sounds like knob!
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Give her some it's because she thinks its unfair And maybe feels left out. Don't give her all of It! But make sure You come to an agreement first!
    • TSR Support Team
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    • Clearing and Applications Advisor
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Do you live at home? I get just over £6000 from SF, and my father is a single parent of 3. I don't live at home, but he wouldn't dream of asking me for money.
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    19
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Im in my final year at uni and throughout my uni life I have given my mum £2000 of the £6000 i get at student finance.

    In 2nd year i worked part time, but it drained me because i was always tired and had no time to study. my grades during that year were not great either - i was getting mid to low 2.1's in my assignments etc.

    My mum is a single parent who earns less than 18,000 a year and wants me to give her more money from student finance. In an ideal world she wants me to work part time whilst studying full time and i cannot do that as this is my final year and i want to give it my best shot. Also, I have an extra module this semester so there is no way i'd be able to keep up a job. I keep saying to her that as soon as i finish my exams i will get a job somewhere (anything really as it will only be temporary till i get a proper job using my degree). I had previously told her that i could only give her £2000 and she was ok with it. Now shes started saying that i need to give more because it isnt enough and that im greedy for keeping £4000 to myself etc etc... i honestly dont know what to do! please give me advice and tips. she is always nagging at me saying that when she was my age her life was a lot harder blah blah blah. how can she honestly expect me to actually pay her what she considers enough when im only a student?!!

    Just say no. Ignore her messages or send them to voicemail etc.
    I wuldnt even give the £2,000, but do not go any further than that. You need to focus.

    Ofc you dont say if you live at home. I would spend all my money on the essentials that I needed in advance so I didnt have it i.e buy books pay for travel etc. You made a rod for your own back by paying her in the first place.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Airmed)
    Do you live at home? I get just over £6000 from SF, and my father is a single parent of 3. I don't live at home, but he wouldn't dream of asking me for money.
    i do live at home, and i keep telling her i will get a job as soon as i finish my exams, she is just so inpatient!
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    I think most importantly you need to tell us whether you're living at home or not whilst studying at university. If you are, then there is a discussion to be had regarding what your mother should have as a reasonable expectation of 'board'. If, however, you're living away from home, then the answer is simple - your mother has no right to expect any sort of money from your student funding (the clue's in the name 'student funding') and you should absolutely not feel bad for taking this course of action. In fact, it is you who should be asking her for money, though I understand and respect that you don't because of her financial predicament.
    • TSR Support Team
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    • Clearing and Applications Advisor
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i do live at home, and i keep telling her i will get a job as soon as i finish my exams, she is just so inpatient!
    Living at home or not, the student finance is for you and not her. If it continues, I would suggest moving out. Perhaps she expects you to pay some sort of rent?
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    My mum rejected when I offered to help out once.
    • TSR Support Team
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Are you paying your mum any rent?
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    If you're living at home its quite reasonable of her to ask you for rent. 2k per year rent is an unbelievable luxury even for a student, you should be thanking her not moaning. How much could she get if she rented out that room you're sitting in? Of course she wants more, you're absolutely taking her for a ride.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Airmed)
    Living at home or not, the student finance is for you and not her. If it continues, I would suggest moving out. Perhaps she expects you to pay some sort of rent?
    Yeah it just sucks... the thing is, anything I pay her is never enough
    • TSR Support Team
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    • Clearing and Applications Advisor
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah it just sucks... the thing is, anything I pay her is never enough
    It sounds like you need to sit down with her and sort out a reasonable amount. Otherwise, she may just expect the whole lot.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    Are you paying your mum any rent?
    the 2k a year is part of the rent
    • Offline

      20
      (Original post by Anonymous)
      i do live at home, and i keep telling her i will get a job as soon as i finish my exams, she is just so inpatient!
      Do you contribute to home expenses? Your maintenance loans and grants are to cover living expenses as well as books and materials, so maybe paying some money toward rent is a good idea.

      (Original post by Airmed)
      Living at home or not, the student finance is for you and not her. If it continues, I would suggest moving out. Perhaps she expects you to pay some sort of rent?
      For OP's living expenses. Like I said just now, maybe offering some rent or food money might be a good compromise.

      That said, moving out (when you can afford it) is a good idea. If your mum's like this with your student loan, what's she going to be like when you're bringing home a full wage?
      Offline

      20
      ReputationRep:
      If your mother's financial situation is such that she genuinely needs some contribution from you towards the household expenses which are larger than they would otherwise be because of your still living at home, then that could be construed as reasonable, though I would hope the contribution she's seeking isn't unreasonable. The quanta of that contribution can only be decided by your both sitting down and discussing it calmly - this could be difficult, I'm guessing.

      It is important to remember than it is your student funding, and thus it is yours to disburse as you see fit.
      Offline

      13
      ReputationRep:
      (Original post by mhsc)
      If you're living at home its quite reasonable of her to ask you for rent. 2k per year rent is an unbelievable luxury even for a student, you should be thanking her not moaning. How much could she get if she rented out that room you're sitting in? Of course she wants more, you're absolutely taking her for a ride.
      She's his/her mum, not his landlord, she shouldn't expect rent, It's still hers/his's home
      • Community Assistant
      • CV Helper
      Offline

      19
      ReputationRep:
      (Original post by Anonymous)
      ..........
      You seem to be a) over 18 and b) living at home. Barring any other relevant circumstances you have also failed to disclose in your initial post - here's how it works.

      Your mother is perfectly able to ask for rent. The fact that between you, neither of you has been able to construct a sensible, adult discussion about this is an issue. Arrange to pay a fair rent to the person that owns the house and presumably also pays the bills.

      Nearly all students have to work around their courses. Unless you are doing a course that requires you to work 37 hours a week (requires, not just needs, because you have sloppy study habits), they you should be capable of working and generating some income to help with the costs you incur. If you can't you probably aren't going to be able to cope with working life after you graduate.

      Your Mum seems to be 'demanding money' because you don't seem to be in touch with the realities of adult life!
      Offline

      18
      ReputationRep:
      Erm, the whole idea of living at home is that it's generally cheaper. If Op was to use almost all of their loan paying for rent they might as well have moved out to uni.

      Your mother is a terrible parent if she's willing to put you further in debt like that
     
     
     
    Reply
    Submit reply
    TSR Support Team

    We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

    Updated: February 18, 2017
  1. See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  2. Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
    Useful resources
  3. See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  4. The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.