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    (Original post by Craghyrax)
    Nope, you didn't. That's another TSR urban myth. I can't stand alpha males, and I hate too much muscle and supposed "prowess".
    It's a myth in TSR as people here seem to be less shallow in general, but if you hear some of the girls in my school
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    Lol what a non-situation
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    (Original post by difeo)
    why are all your posts blue
    Why are all your posts black?

    PS: No spoilers please. Still waiting to go to the play.

    (Original post by 152mmOfDerp)
    It's a myth in TSR as people here seem to be less shallow in general, but if you hear some of the girls in my school
    My point wasn't that no women find muscular alpha men attractive, but that not all of us do. Nor even most of us. It's not really an issue of superficiality. I mean my automatic attraction to skinnier, quieter, brooding types is also superficial because it's an instantaneous response to a person based on their appearances But all of us do subconsciously pick up a whole bunch of information from people at first glance, even when we are doing our best not to judge. For instance, a muscular guy with strong facial features, an overconfident manner tends to scream 'jerk' at me and motivate me to steer well clear. But of course, not all muscular, extroverted, confident men with masculine facial features are jerks
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    (Original post by Craghyrax)
    Why are all your posts black?

    PS: No spoilers please. Still waiting to go to the play.
    Because I don't try to make mine stand out
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    Guy: Hi, have a nice day!
    Girl: Ugh go away I have a boyfriend, creep. Aren't you like 72? Ugh
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    (Original post by SirMilkSheikh)
    You say that but if it was Chris Hemsworth or Gerrard Butler, you'd be getting wet from the mere sight of them.

    Girls tend to be good liars.
    I find that very insulting.
    I married a beta male and I don't like either of those men, at all.
    The celebs most attractive to me are Colin Firth and Benedict Cumberbatch.

    Sorry not sorry to upset the TSR ideology that anything short of the incredible hulk is a fail at manhood :rofl:
    (Original post by difeo)
    Because I don't try to make mine stand out
    Um, well that's nice Whatever floats your boat.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    I was expecting a least one post like this. Has it ever occurred to you that some women might just want to go about their daily business in peace? Besides which im celibate so I wouldnt have wanted to talk to him even if he looked like Ryan gosling.
    As soon as he realised he left you alone. It's ridiculous that you feel so entitled... So should nobody talk to anyone else ever?

    He wanted to engage in conversation, you did not, he left you alone. What's the big deal?
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    im pleased to say some women are not so shallow. my wife looked beyond the short fat weird guy and saw a short fat bald guy. 27 years latter shes still saying why.
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    (Original post by Craghyrax)
    I find that very insulting.
    Ditto. The idea that women are only creeped out by men they don't find physically attractive seems to be a myth conjured up by men looking for a reason why they keep getting rejected - sure, the problem is definitely that women are all really superficial rather than the fact that some men have odious personalities. A guy who is a jerk automatically goes in the 'unattractive' category for me, regardless of whether he's objectively good-looking or not.

    As for the OP.. there's nothing wrong with a stranger trying to make polite conversation in the first place. But - mental health conditions affecting social interaction aside - most people should probably be socially aware enough to realise that someone reading in a library probably doesn't want to have a conversation. I've had people try to strike up a conversation when I've had headphones in and have been reading on more than one occasion - I don't know how anyone could look at someone giving off those social cues and assume it's okay to interrupt them. I wouldn't dream of doing that to someone unless it was for a really good reason like 'you dropped your wallet' or something.
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    Report him for harassment - go on, I dare you.
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    (Original post by _Sinnie_)
    My first thought is that I'm quite curious about why you feel it wouldn't happen again, your post and subsequent responses have shown that you view yourself as someone who people wouldn't want to talk to. I can understand that people may hold that view of themselves, but surely you appreciate that on the whole, people do chat to one another? These threads are always very tricky as we start to delve into some of the psychological workings of our behaviours and airing those in a public place is rarely a good idea (certainly in such an uncontained manner as this). I would genuinely consider discussing your overarching concerns about this with someone.

    As to why these things occur. I think you are potentially conflating someone being nice to you, or making an enquiry with someone hitting on you, or being after sex. Sure, often these are not mutually exclusive, but it also doesn't have to be creepy.

    If they were just being friendly, or asking a question. Then perhaps you were the closest person? Or you looked approachable? Or even you look a little awkward, but they also feel awkward and sensed a kindred spirit?

    There is a good chance they were talking to you to chat you up (I don't think may people overtly seek a hook up in libraries). I can appreciate that you may not be interested in that, and that is fine; you may also be very busy and not wish to be disturbed, and that is also fine. But they don't know that. I might ask someone if their book/series was good, especially if I had heard about it or it was in a genre I was looking at.

    The real measure of the inappropriateness is how persistent they were. Unfortunately, there are unpleasant people wherever we go. Fortunately, most people really aren't like that.

    How to deal with it? You can't really ignore them and at first, it is just innocent questions (would you be annoyed if someone on the street asked you for the time?) The reality is, for the first 2/3 questions, you just grin and bear it, at the end of the day you are in public and people can and will talk to you. Once it gets to a point that overstays its welcome, smile and apologise, "I'm sorry, I'm really into the book right now, do you mind?"
    why I feel it wouldn't happen again? because in general i don't expect men to come and try to chat me up. on the whole strangers don't talk to strangers, not in the setting I was in. If he was just asking me what time the library closes I wouldn't have minded. But I just feel awkward when he started to ask me more questions, I felt like he had an alterior motive.
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    (Original post by *pitseleh*)
    Ditto. The idea that women are only creeped out by men they don't find physically attractive seems to be a myth conjured up by men looking for a reason why they keep getting rejected - sure, the problem is definitely that women are all really superficial rather than the fact that some men have odious personalities. A guy who is a jerk automatically goes in the 'unattractive' category for me, regardless of whether he's objectively good-looking or not.

    As for the OP.. there's nothing wrong with a stranger trying to make polite conversation in the first place. But - mental health conditions affecting social interaction aside - most people should probably be socially aware enough to realise that someone reading in a library probably doesn't want to have a conversation. I've had people try to strike up a conversation when I've had headphones in and have been reading on more than one occasion - I don't know how anyone could look at someone giving off those social cues and assume it's okay to interrupt them. I wouldn't dream of doing that to someone unless it was for a really good reason like 'you dropped your wallet' or something.
    I can't rep this enough.
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    That's scary!
    I'm so glad that your a harry potter fan (in a non-dodgy way) :-3
    what I recommend is that you take company with you or take your phone with you ,make sure you tell some one where you are and stay safe!!

    love, jess
    • Welcome Squad
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    Not really creepy, just a conversation.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    So I went to the library today just to pass the time and I was sitting there reading, minding my own business when this dodgy looking man comes up to me and asks if i know what time the library closes. I thought he genuinely wanted to know so I told him it closes at eight. But then he asks me if the book im reading is any good (Harry potter and the cursed child). Not wishing to engage in further conversation, i tell him yes and return to by book. Then he asks if the other harry potter books are good, and I say yes they are, trying to make myself quite clear that I wish to be alone, at which point he goes away.
    I'm just surprised and slightly disturbed at the desperate measures guys will resort to with complete strangers just to get the attention of someone from the opposite sex. I'm not even remotely attractive, and if this happens again I intend to make myself quite clear and say that I just wish to read my book in peace.
    It was just a bit pathetic and creepy really and it ruined my inner peace just a little bit. Not a lot, just a bit. I shouldnt have to endure that. And in a library too, of all places.
    Feminists. Want to be oppressed so bad
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    You don't even know what its like to be oppressed. I was the only "white" kid in my school in Africa and I was bullied so bad. People called me musungu and other mean names and told me my opinion on matters in Africa were irrelevant because I was a white kid. And it wasn't because I looked white but because my dad was. Then when I came to England and was introduced to mental health I was put in set 5 for maths when I was clearly capable (performed higher than everyone) to be in set 1 and they kept me there for over 6 months. Or how the roles reversed in England and I was the only "black" kid in an independent school . Ffs Pick your battles.
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    (Original post by LisaNikita)
    You don't even know what its like to be oppressed. I was the only "white" kid in my school in Africa and I was bullied so bad. People called me musungu and other mean names and told me my opinion on matters in Africa were irrelevant because I was a white kid. And it wasn't because I looked white but because my dad was. Then when I came to England and was introduced to mental health I was put in set 5 for maths when I was clearly capable (performed higher than everyone) to be in set 1 and they kept me there for over 6 months. Or how the roles reversed in England and I was the only "black" kid in an independent school . Ffs Pick your battles.
    Cool story, what has that got to do with the price of milk?
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    Whilst I agree with other users you may have overreacted a bit, maybe you were just caught off by surprise or something? I personally wouldn't find that creepy at all. Years ago when I was revising at the library some old man sat next to me and tried talking to me while stroking my thigh. That's creepy.

    A guy asking if a book is good? That's really nothing to get hyped over.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    He was foreign so I couldn't really understand what he was saying, i had to ask him to repeat himself a few times.
    I can't imagine he was really interested in harry potter. I thought in a library I'd be safe from 'outgoing' people.
    honestly there are cultural differences you should consider too, I know people who think it's totally normal to start a conversation in that sort of circumstance because it would be in their home country, I also know people who wouldn't take your 'yes it's good' as a 'shut up and leave me alone' like most Brits would because in their culture people would be more blunt

    totally understand how you feel, it's annoyed to have to put someone off when you're trying to relax and the whole 'he wouldn't be creepy if he was hot' - well if you wanted to speak to him/found him attractive your body language would be open + inviting and you'd be saying things like 'yes it's great, have you never read them? you should' which invite further conversation... if your body language is closed and you're saying things to shut down the conversation then it does feel like someone is a 'creep' if they pursue it
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    this is awesome.

    what a banal existence, spending so many hours on a post about a trivial interaction with another human. an impressive level of self-absorbtion
 
 
 
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