Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Dating a girl who isn't over her ex - help! Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Okay so we're both at the same university. We met about 2 months ago and began dating around a month ago.

    We've been on 4 or 5 dates and have been spending a lot of time together recently (she's been sleeping over at mine etc.) and she treats me really well. Here's the tricky bit: Like a week ago she told me she wants to keep it casual as she's not totally over her ex boyfriend yet but will be soon. They were together for 3 years and have been broken up for about 6 months. She said she told me things because she felt I needed to know even if it would make things uncomfortable for a while (which I respect a lot).

    I can tell she likes me (she's always making the effort to speak to me and asking me to meet up etc.) and she she says things that infer we're going to be close for a long time (talking about things we'll do months in the future.

    I like this girl a lot but the fact she's still a bit hung up on her ex scares me. I came out of a two year relationship about 8 months ago which was overrun by my then girlfriend being hung up on her ex and I don't want to go through that again.

    Any advice?
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    Don't go through it if you don't want to. And tell her to stop talking about her ex .
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    If you really care about her, you'll give her some time. It's understandable that you're cautious after what happened in your last relationship, but spending three years of your life with someone and having it just ending is equally traumatic. You have to try to focus on the positives, like she's made it clear to you that she's still sensitive about her ex, which is better than lying about it. And what you're saying about her talking about things in the future with you is also really promising. Try to give her a bit more time, especially if you think she's someone you want to be with for a while.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by CarysJSLewis)
    If you really care about her, you'll give her some time. It's understandable that you're cautious after what happened in your last relationship, but spending three years of your life with someone and having it just ending is equally traumatic. You have to try to focus on the positives, like she's made it clear to you that she's still sensitive about her ex, which is better than lying about it. And what you're saying about her talking about things in the future with you is also really promising. Try to give her a bit more time, especially if you think she's someone you want to be with for a while.
    I agree with this if you like her then let her get over him in her own time and take things slowly and casually until both of you feel ready to take things further. You both clearly like each other but if she needs time don't rush her, and equally don't push yourself into something before you're ready.

    She's been honest with you which is great of her to do, so you know where you stand. It's up to you - do you like her enough to wait? If you do, then there's your answer
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 23, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Did TEF Bronze Award affect your UCAS choices?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.