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Would you be offended if I got you this as a mental health gift?? Watch

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    Every Valentine's for the last 2 years I buy gifts for the girls in my student residence. :heart:

    So one of the girls has anxiety (social) so I bought her these self care bandaid tattoos that I've seen all over tumblr. I know they look a bit trite, but I was thinking they would make a cute and thoughtful style of gift instead of generic stuff. I should note, I've known this girl for coming up to 3 years but I've never talked about her anxiety with her beyond her mentioning it a couple of times.

    Well they arrived today and the first thing my boyfriend says when he sees them is that they are belittling to people who actually suffer with anxiety and that she may be offended if I gave them to her...

    Any advice from people with anxiety/mental health issues? Would you be offended if a friend got you these?
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    I would appreciate the gift if I was her. So no, I don't agree with your boyfriend. It shows empathy.
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    Anxiety here. They're definitely cute and thoughtful. I don't think I'd be offended but I might be a bit confused/hurt depending on how close I was to the friend who gave them to me. Obviously it completely depends on your relationship with the person and whether or not she's the sort of person to get that you don't mean offence. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.
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    I wouldn't be hurt or offended by these gifts at all but I would rather a friend bought me a gift related to an interest of mine such as my favourite game, film etc or a cute gift made by them such as a frame with pictures of us in it. I would get this kind of gift for someone out the blue, not as a special occasion present like for a birthday, Valentines etc. It does show you care which is the main thing and the thought definitely counts but I can imagine some people (I wouldn't but I don't know your friend) would maybe see it as a reminder that you see their illness before you see them and their interests,especially if they have anxiety issues.
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    (Original post by tippyto452)
    Every Valentine's for the last 2 years I buy gifts for the girls in my student residence. :heart:

    So one of the girls has anxiety (social) so I bought her these self care bandaid tattoos that I've seen all over tumblr. I know they look a bit trite, but I was thinking they would make a cute and thoughtful style of gift instead of generic stuff. I should note, I've known this girl for coming up to 3 years but I've never talked about her anxiety with her beyond her mentioning it a couple of times.

    Well they arrived today and the first thing my boyfriend says when he sees them is that they are belittling to people who actually suffer with anxiety and that she may be offended if I gave them to her...

    Any advice from people with anxiety/mental health issues? Would you be offended if a friend got you these?
    They look pretty cute and they aren't too personal. The only issues I can see could be if she does or is considering sh. The plaster could be a bit triggering in that case and there is a chance she will think you "know too much" or something (I got a bit like that for a while), but I think it's a reasonable gift to give somebody. There's always a risk she won't like it or will be offended, but I wouldn't think it's likely enough to worry about.

    Personally i'm not a huge fan but I don't have any issues with it and besides when I was in my somewhat paranoid phase I would appreciate the thought behind it. I think it's better than some generic tat at least.

    I say go for it. The whole idea of giving them gifts is really nice btw.
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    Considering you've known her for 3 years and you say you've pretty much never spoken about it, it's quite clear that she doesn't like to talk about it or make it known to everyone. So if I was her I'd think it was a thoughtless gift NGL. I wouldn't necessarily find it offensive, but it'd be the same as an Xmas present I got from my mum this year, a shaving foam and razor set when I thought she'd have noticed that I always use a facial trimmer, I'm just like "How do some people not notice these things or just put no thought into what they're getting?" :lol:
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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    I wouldn't maybe see it as a reminder that you see their illness before you see them and their interests,especially if they have anxiety issues.
    honestly I don't really 'see' their anxiety, but this is why I wanted to get this, because although they only mentioned it a few times, I wanted to let them know I was listening ... if that makes sense. For me this was personal. However I do understand it from your (and my boyfriends) point of view.
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    I would personally hate that gift. I'd find it really triggering even if I'd not self harmed for years.

    I like the messages on them though. If money weren't an issue I'd probably buy Brene brown's daring greatly and I would write a note on book to remind them that they are enough and beautiful and worthy
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    (Original post by ~Tara~)
    I would personally hate that gift. I'd find it really triggering even if I'd not self harmed for years.
    How would you find it triggering? Just want to try and understand ... She is not a self harmer, as far as I know she has never self harmed. But she does have anxiety.
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    (Original post by tippyto452)
    How would you find it triggering? Just want to try and understand ... She is not a self harmer, as far as I know she has never self harmed. But she does have anxiety.
    For me it's because it would remind me of self harm. And I know how easily we can hide it. So I wouldn't buy for anyone. I'd rather get regular stickers with those phrases than plasters
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    (Original post by ~Tara~)
    For me it's because it would remind me of self harm. And I know how easily we can hide it. So I wouldn't buy for anyone. I'd rather get regular stickers with those phrases than plasters
    Ok thanks for the explanation, that's understandable.
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    I don't think they're innately offensive but there's definitely an undercurrent of implied self harm with putting a plaster on your wrist and that might be triggering or she may just feel self conscious of it. Could you show her the website as a 'aww look what I just saw on tumblr, they're cute' and see how she reacts? My guess is lots of people would find them lovely and some would really hate them.
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    Could you show her the website as a 'aww look what I just saw on tumblr, they're cute' and see how she reacts?
    I think I am going to do this! Thanks for the tip! Clever idea!
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    Personally I think it's a dumb idea for a gift and I wouldn't buy them for anyone.
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    I agree with your bf. It might be seen as belittling to receive that as a gift. I would certainly feel patronised to receive those. Especially if the friend in question has not shared much about her mental health with you.
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    (Original post by ~Tara~)
    For me it's because it would remind me of self harm. And I know how easily we can hide it. So I wouldn't buy for anyone. I'd rather get regular stickers with those phrases than plasters
    The plasters also have connotations of being "injured" or "weak". People with mental health issues tend to feel shamed and "weak"/ "broken". The idea of plasters reinforces this. I would certainly feel annoyed at receiving them.

    And ofc they were all over tumblr. That site is notorious for glamourising mental health issues amongst young girls. Mental health isn't something to glamourised or be seen as "cute".
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    I'd find it extremely belittling if I received this from someone who I haven't opened up to that much about my mental health. The only people I could receive those plaster tattoos from without feeling patronised would be my doctor or psychotherapist.
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    Hmm. :/ If these were from a close friend who I'd spoken to about MH things then I'd find it a bit odd. But if it wasn't someone I'd really properly discussed things with then no, I wouldn't like it at all. I think I would kind of see it as a bit patronising and brain would be thinking "She must just see me as the flatmate with MH problems". Like rather than the person thinking about me in terms of my personality or intrests etc. Kind of DSH implications as well- especially looking at how and where they've positioned them on the pictures on the site you've linked.
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    Many mixed opinions here, so think I am just going to play it safe and ask her what she thinks...
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    (Original post by tippyto452)
    Many mixed opinions here, so think I am just going to play it safe and ask her what she thinks...
    She might think they look cute. That's what I would say because they are bright and dainty. Objectively they look cute and pretty. But that doesn't necessarily mean your friend wants them as a gift. If I received them from someone I haven't talked to that much about my mental health, it would make me feel so self-conscious. I'd feel that I have been labelled and that you see me as the "girl with anxiety". I suspect very few people want to broadcast their mental health issues through wearing temporary tattoos anyway.

    Anyone will an modicum of emotional intelligence would realise this. It's no coincidence that your boyfriend practically cringed when you told him. There are much more respectful and thoughtful gifts to give others.
 
 
 
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