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Boyfriend wanting to join the RAF

My boyfriend wants to become a pilot, and when we first met he warned me that he wanted to join the RAF. It wasn't until a few months ago that he told me that he had to do it before his 25th birthday which is next week. At the time I didn't want him to do it because we hadn't been together for very long and it felt like he wasn't considering what effect it would have on such a young relationship. Eventually we agreed he would apply a few months later, and now he's put in his application and got an interview (They skipped the aptitude test, I don't know if it's because he applied 2 years ago but unfortunately broke his arm before his interview or what, the point is he has an interview).
I'm worried for several reasons. Firstly, I support him, but I'm worried about our relationship and whether it'll survive because whenever we talk about it he finds something wrong with what I've said and won't tell me anything about the process. He keeps me in the dark for fear of upsetting me or making me angry. If I'm going to support him I need to be involved even if I'm still not entirely happy with it all. Maybe then I'd be okay and had understand I do support him.
Secondly, we booked a holiday in July last week together and now he's being put thru the application I'm worried the holiday won't go ahead.
I understand that the RAF would take priority and it sucks. We see each other 3-4 times a week and I work weekends so if he got through to training we wouldn't see each other any where near as much as we do now. I understand that. Im also in my final year of my degree but want to do a masters next year, which would definitely impact the relationship.
I know he hasn't got past the interview yet but because of his attitude over the entire thing he won't talk to me about any of it. I've tried to get a conversation about it from him and he downright refuses to acknowledge it now.

So I was wondering if anyone has any experience to share with me, either of the process itself or what it's like the have a boyfriend in the RAF.
I've read a few forums on here but they haven't helped me...

Reply 1

Drewski

The process to join is a long one, at least 6 months, with numerous pass / fail tests along the way. Getting in as a pilot is about the hardest thing to do, so don't count your chickens yet.

By the time he's in, if he gets in, you'll be in a different place, so take it as it comes.

Plenty of people manage relationships with partners in the forces perfectly well. Ok, they may take a little extra work at times, but if you're genuinely on his side, why wouldn't you help him and try to make it work for the pair of you?

And, without wanting to sound rude, he's clearly wanted to do this a lot longer than he's known you, why stand in his way?

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 2

Trinculo

Just keep quiet and let it blow over.

From what I know of these things, he has pretty much a zero chance of becoming a jet pilot. If he's left it until he's a couple of weeks short of his birthday, he's clearly got no commitment other than the idea that he wants to be Tom Cruise.

He'll fail, and your relationship will go on as if nothing had happened.