So this is basically my relationship. I met my ex at college,after many attempts from him nearly a whole year of him trying to talk to me I eventually gave in and we started dating and eventually got into a relationship, I am Bengali and he is mixed race. Anyone from an Asian background would know that this is not normal as we are expected to date our own race. From the very beginning I feel like we had to be very mature in our relationship as we had to deal with things such as people staring at us or the Asian guys in my class making comments or I can't be seen with him and so on, we never really got to go through that honeymoon stage. He obviously knew what would come with being with me and he accepted and tried to go by the rules. I fell so deep in love with him really quickly and I believe he felt the same too. we had been dating on and off for three years, we have gone through so many problems big ones to the point where he came and introduced himself to my family and that was a very big thing for me and him. Of course my family were not happy with this and he knew that but I really loved him and I chose to stand by him. During the three years we've been together we have had so many breaks for example we would have a massive fight and he would leave me and come back after a couple of months, this has happened a couple of times during these three years. And it had just happened again now, it has been a month since we have broken up no contact nothing. I wonder how is it that he can do this repeatedly all the time, when we are together he tells me how much he loves me and how I am the only one for him and I feel the love from him when we are together, but why does he leave? It also got to a point where we nearly got married as I fell pregnant, my whole family knew this was a massive thing for me and a massive blow to my family, but we lived each other and we wanted this baby. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage and lost the baby it was such a hard time for me, about a month after the miscarriage he left me over a family issue but I took him back when he turned up again a month later. Someone give it to me straight, what is this guy doing? Does he really love me? Why does he keep leaving me? And I know he had got a lot of pressure on him too because our relationship is not a normal relationship due to the culture differences so I know it's been hard on him.
Did he really love me or not? Watch
- Thread Starter
- 25-01-2017 22:55
- 26-01-2017 23:15
p a r a g r a p h s ! ! !
- 26-01-2017 23:23
Okay, even though it killed my eyes to read it - here is what I think of it.
He just doesn't feel ready for this. He can't make his mind up. Unfortunately however many times you will try and have this discussion this is what will happen and it'll be a cycle. The whole miscarriage thing was a big point - if he ended up leaving you then, then that should've been a big sign to you that he isn't serious about it. Coupled with the fact that you have cultural differences and families aren't happy with it - it's a big mess.
Sure you can work things out and everything might be hunky-dory in the end, but ask yourself this: do you really want to put everything else that matters in life, career, job prospects on hold purely cos of him?
It's up to you now to make it clear to him that if you like him enough, he shouldn't leave you or you won't take him back. He's using the fact that you will take him anyway, so have some conviction.