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Fakes, frauds and big mouths at work Watch

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    Hi,

    I recently started a new job that was closer to home. I was unemployed for 6 months after graduating in July 2016.

    This job isn't really directly related to my studies but it will definitely allow me to enhance and improve on my non-technical skills.

    The thing is, the department I am working for consist of a lot of young graduates and professionals. The majority are around 23-28 year olds with a mixture of guys and girls. I have only been here for a week and a bit and I have already caused a bit of a scene and a show. On my first day, some guy dared me and my other new colleagues (essentially the company temporary took on me and three other people - so four of us joined together on the same day) to sing at a team meeting. I told the guy that I would be willing to sing the song on my own - to which I did. A lot of people were very shocked and amazed by my bravery of attempting to sing - and I for one never expected to sing myself. I was caught in the moment and well I got a lot of respect for that.

    This week however, not a lot of people are talking to me and I have noticed that some have become slightly jealous of me because I had some balls to stand up to people and do the impossible. There has been this guy who has been stirring things up - the one who asked us to sing. I accidentally told the guy that I used to do MMA and this guy literally went around telling everyone. People were again amazed because they had this idea instilled in their heads that I was already confident. I literally made it a mistake to reveal a bit too much and when I was the last one to leave today I felt annoyed and angry. No one really said bye to me and it is becoming apparent that people are jealous of me - god knows why. I am only there for a few months and then I have to find a new job. I just want to do well in my job and make friends

    What to do?
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    Keep happy with the superiors, get a good reference and get outa there
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    (Original post by Casisalive)
    Keep happy with the superiors, get a good reference and get outa there
    Yeah but these guys keep bantering with me.

    I don't mind banter - but I hate it when people go home without saying bye or even come across fake. These lads like talking to me because apparently I can relate to them well - it just seems like I am an entertainment to them. I wouldn't mind doing it if they were genuine lads - after all I want to become more positive in life
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    (Original post by timokane5)
    Yeah but these guys keep bantering with me.

    I don't mind banter - but I hate it when people go home without saying bye or even come across fake. These lads like talking to me because apparently I can relate to them well - it just seems like I am an entertainment to them. I wouldn't mind doing it if they were genuine lads - after all I want to become more positive in life
    Are you an ethnic minority whereas they are all white?
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    Some people mentally never left high school, they might just be "testing" you depending on how much older / younger than them you are
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    (Original post by James.Carnell)
    Are you an ethnic minority whereas they are all white?
    They are all non-white including myself. I am an ethnic minority too.

    I may have come across the wrong way. Even my boss looks at me seriously (doesn't really smile) - whereas he talks to the other new colleagues well
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    What you've described doesn't sound like real jealousy, it sounds more like the kind of jealousy that your mum would tell you about when people made fun of you in primary school. As far as being outgoing and confident though this can make other people feel uncomfortable, especially with younger people. You tend to find that this is followed by them adopting a sort of pack mentality and they will poke fun at you in return.

    There's nothing wrong with natural confidence, it's a gift that few of us are blessed with but, it's always better to be quietly confident. My suggestion would be to knuckle down and keep your head low for the next couple of weeks, the chances are that what's happened will be forgotten about and that your colleagues will start to see you more as one of them.
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    (Original post by Casisalive)
    Some people mentally never left high school, they might just be "testing" you depending on how much older / younger than them you are
    It all still seems like banter. I just don't like it when I am not really appreciated - like people only like me for the banter - beyond that they don't care
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    (Original post by CamLikesCookies)
    What you've described doesn't sound like real jealousy, it sounds more like the kind of jealousy that your mum would tell you about when people made fun of you in primary school. As far as being outgoing and confident though this can make other people feel uncomfortable, especially with younger people. You tend to find that this is followed by them adopting a sort of pack mentality and they will poke fun at you in return.

    There's nothing wrong with natural confidence, it's a gift that few of us are blessed with but, it's always better to be quietly confident. My suggestion would be to knuckle down and keep your head low for the next couple of weeks, the chances are that what's happened will be forgotten about and that your colleagues will start to see you more as one of them.
    What do you mean about "the kind of jealousy that your mum would tell you about when people made fun of you in primary school"?

    Yeah at my previous job everyone in the department were old and I never liked the people or dynamics there. When I came and found that there were a lot of young people at the new job I was literally like in heaven. Problem is, I never had real friends in life - I am admittedly a bit of a loner - so I wanted to change myself to fit in well with others. This has kind of backfired and I am now trying to find ways to stay humble and quiet for once. A good cousin of mine told me to be quiet and only answer to questions asked.
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    Yeah i get you on that one, but i say maybe give it some time and try initiate some filler conversation to test the water. Might just take some time for people to adjust to their new peers / routine
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    When I move my face people In thebither side of the country respond. Plus I had to live with à person who I didn't like who cries and moans constantly. And barely responds normally to questions. For 20 years.
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    (Original post by timokane5)
    What do you mean about "the kind of jealousy that your mum would tell you about when people made fun of you in primary school"?

    Yeah at my previous job everyone in the department were old and I never liked the people or dynamics there. When I came and found that there were a lot of young people at the new job I was literally like in heaven. Problem is, I never had real friends in life - I am admittedly a bit of a loner - so I wanted to change myself to fit in well with others. This has kind of backfired and I am now trying to find ways to stay humble and quiet for once. A good cousin of mine told me to be quiet and only answer to questions asked.
    Well it's unlikely that they are jealous of you, it gives peace of mind to think that but there's no sense in enforcing a view that poses you as being above them because you want to be their equal not their superior.

    Every job and every group of people will be slightly different, you'll find the balance in no time though, just keep on keeping on.
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    Thank you for the comments and support thus far guys.

    I know it is still early days but I have been able to pick out and analyse people that I do and don't like. I know the workplace is different but what tips and advice can you give me to deal with and talk to people that I may not like

    Thanks
 
 
 
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