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    • Thread Starter

    I am naturally a quiet person and I want advice on how I can be more confident around girls in the hope of getting a girlfriend. I struggle with friendships as I find it difficult to start conversations as I find nothing to talk about as I am absolutely obsessed with the 1960's and 1970's so I don't find common grounds.

    Any advice?
    • Community Assistant

    Community Assistant
    Do you have female friends? Having female friends will make you confident.

    Approach and have a conversation with women, approach calmly, their is no better way then getting confidence then just approaching and having conversations with women.

    You could purchase books on conversation skills from Amazon or Waterstones and there are plenty of resources on the internet.

    Accept yourself, go to the gym, do things that make you happy, have a hobby, be with positive people, join a club, what are you good at? What makes you proud? Remember your happy times. Converse with people everyday.

    Be positive, optimistic, trust yourself.

    Be happy with yourself, do things that make you happy, be ambitious, outgoing, find your passions, form a social life and things may will fall into place.

    Okay so this is going to be some general advice about building up your social confidence.
    Firstly focus on your friendships, I know you clearly want to have a girlfriend but hear me out, by building up your friendships you'll be able to start building up your confidence as you start meeting new people. Obviously, the more people you meet the more likely you're going to meet someone you like, and it creates a snowball effect of confidence by giving you more and more experience.

    Secondly, being obsessed with the 60s and 70s is great, but as you said yourself it's very unusual to have a conversation about the 60s or 70s (at least in my experience). So take the initiative and start the conversation in something they find interesting, this puts them at ease, as they're talking about something they like and often you can follow it up with a longer conversation that they're going to be interested in. An example of this might be asking someone at a library reading, you can start the conversation by asking them what they're reading, and asking them if they're enjoying the book and if so what do they like about it, and then looping the conversation back to yourself and begin talking about a similar book you might like.

    So in short summary; Focus on your friendships, and you'll find yourself getting more confident, being more confident socially is going to make you more attractive to potential partners and increase he likelihood of bumping into one. Take the initiative in conversations by meeting them on their common ground (and expand your own, start watching popular TV and Netflix series, reading books etc...) but make sure to add bits about you, no-one wants to do all the talking in a conversation.

    I hope this helped, and if you have any more questions I'll try my best to answer them as best and quickly as I can.
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