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Inappropriate male housemate Watch

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    Well clearly it's made you uncomfortable now that you have decided to lock your room so jus tell him how you feel and what he did was unacceptable. Maybe even see if you can agree on some rules such as no drugs in the house and stuff cuz u dont and remind him that you don't like him acting a bit inappropriate towards you.
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    (Original post by BumbleBea94)
    I've always lived with male housemates (I'm a girl) and have never had any problems. Rarely lock my bedroom door as I struggle with the lock and trust my housemates fully. Only lock it when we have people I don't know stay.

    One of the guys I live with ATM is a really good friend but he can be inappropriate. He often touches me when I've said no. Nothing sinister just hugs and a hand on my shoulder. I know he thinks he's being comforting when I come home from a long day at work but I don't like being touched.

    We went travelling together over summer and shared rooms and there were no issues really. He did slap my bum once and I punched him because I'd already said I didn't like it but he doesn't really understand. It's like he doesn't have a concept of personal space.

    Anyway a few months ago it was my birthday and he decided to get high. I don't like drugs and was pretty annoyed that he and other housemates were doing them in the house. Well he gets too drunk and high and I end up having to spend my whole birthday night sorting him out and he keeps grabbing my bum. I put it down to his state and have brought it up since with him but I'm still not sure he gets the gravity of it. And just now I woke up to find him in my room. I have locked my room and will now always lock it. No longer feel safe and I am definitely doubting the friendship. I feel like I have missed so many red flags and put it down to the fact he has a lack of social skills. But now I feel scared in my own house

    Sorry for long post but does anyone have any advice on how I should bring up the subject with him in the morning so he understands the gravity of the situation, and how I can begin to feel safe again? Moving out is not an option due to financial situation and I don't have close friends outside my house I could stay with.
    Kick him in the nuts.
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    (Original post by BumbleBea94)
    I've always lived with male housemates (I'm a girl) and have never had any problems. Rarely lock my bedroom door as I struggle with the lock and trust my housemates fully. Only lock it when we have people I don't know stay.

    One of the guys I live with ATM is a really good friend but he can be inappropriate. He often touches me when I've said no. Nothing sinister just hugs and a hand on my shoulder. I know he thinks he's being comforting when I come home from a long day at work but I don't like being touched.

    We went travelling together over summer and shared rooms and there were no issues really. He did slap my bum once and I punched him because I'd already said I didn't like it but he doesn't really understand. It's like he doesn't have a concept of personal space.

    Anyway a few months ago it was my birthday and he decided to get high. I don't like drugs and was pretty annoyed that he and other housemates were doing them in the house. Well he gets too drunk and high and I end up having to spend my whole birthday night sorting him out and he keeps grabbing my bum. I put it down to his state and have brought it up since with him but I'm still not sure he gets the gravity of it. And just now I woke up to find him in my room. I have locked my room and will now always lock it. No longer feel safe and I am definitely doubting the friendship. I feel like I have missed so many red flags and put it down to the fact he has a lack of social skills. But now I feel scared in my own house

    Sorry for long post but does anyone have any advice on how I should bring up the subject with him in the morning so he understands the gravity of the situation, and how I can begin to feel safe again? Moving out is not an option due to financial situation and I don't have close friends outside my house I could stay with.
    How's your relationship and reliability on other housemates?, if it's all good, try getting them around to "**** block" him when they can.

    Also try speaking to your landlord about it.

    It might be worth it having a spy camera on and hidden everytime you're around him to prove his pervy habits to anyone that can help(respectfully without judgement), especially the law and maybe your landlord. Something tells me that if he sees the chance, he'll fully rape you with no hesitation, so that's why having a spy cam on while pushing him away and warning him to stop( to prove that he really doesn't care about your consent) will help. That might sound like a nasty pill to swollow, but how else can you prove it?
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    UPDATE: Thanks for the good advice everyone. I spoke to him earlier and he hasn't made a move to apologise. Just came up with an excuse so it makes me think that this won't be the end of it. I've threatened to take it to the university and that seems to have calmed things down. He reckons he talked to our other female housemate and they said they wouldn't have a problem with what he did but that sounds like some top grade BS right there. I've got no time for people who make excuses tbh so I've made that quite clear to him that I am not amused in any way. Thanks for all your help as it's nice to having some strangers to rave to at 3am!
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    You need to have a serious conversation. Explain that there is acceptable behaviour and unacceptable. Touching you AT ALL or entering your bedroom are unacceptable and you will not allow it to happen again. Make sure that there is absolutely no doubt, there's no joke, awkward laughter and if tries to minimise it repeat yourself and say this is not a joke and you need him to do as you say. You may not be able to move out but your landlord has an obligation to provide a safe living environment so you could try reporting him to the landlord if anything else happens which makes you uncomfortable.

    Just seen you have another female housemate. Let her know the conversation you've had and make sure she's locking her door as well.
 
 
 
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