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Losing My Virginity Watch

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    I'm a 21 year old female and have yet not lost my virginity. The thing is it gets me down a lot especially since being in long relationships. The guys I have dated have lost interest straight away when I told them about my situation and the 2 long relationships I had ended up cheating on me due to being frustrated.

    It's hard for me as I have suffered from abuse in the past which is why I'm like this. Everytime I try even myself I tense up, push away or close my legs straight away. I'm fed up and want to lose it but I'm so afraid of pain. I just want it gone so that I no longer have to deal with it. Also, I have a high pain boundary too so I can cope with pain but this seems to be different.

    Please someone help
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    (Original post by TheCuriousGirl1)
    I'm a 21 year old female and have yet not lost my virginity. The thing is it gets me down a lot especially since being in long relationships. The guys I have dated have lost interest straight away when I told them about my situation and the 2 long relationships I had ended up cheating on me due to being frustrated.

    It's hard for me as I have suffered from abuse in the past which is why I'm like this. Everytime I try even myself I tense up, push away or close my legs straight away. I'm fed up and want to lose it but I'm so afraid of pain. I just want it gone so that I no longer have to deal with it. Also, I have a high pain boundary too so I can cope with pain but this seems to be different.

    Please someone help
    Have you considered talking to somebody confidentiality about what has happened to you?
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    Professional psychology counseling is the best way out!
    Been there, done that, same story
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    I have but they just told me to practice with myself. There are times when I am really in the moment and I don't seem to notice that the person is trying.
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    (Original post by maxpar)
    Professional psychology counseling is the best way out!
    Been there, done that, same story
    Thank you
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    (Original post by TheCuriousGirl1)
    I'm a 21 year old female and have yet not lost my virginity. The thing is it gets me down a lot especially since being in long relationships. The guys I have dated have lost interest straight away when I told them about my situation and the 2 long relationships I had ended up cheating on me due to being frustrated.

    It's hard for me as I have suffered from abuse in the past which is why I'm like this. Everytime I try even myself I tense up, push away or close my legs straight away. I'm fed up and want to lose it but I'm so afraid of pain. I just want it gone so that I no longer have to deal with it. Also, I have a high pain boundary too so I can cope with pain but this seems to be different.

    Please someone help
    Sorry to hear about the previous abuse. I'm an older guy with the same situation. Obviously you won't face any ulterior motive from me, and hopefully I won't from you. Would be good to support each other.
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    I'd reckon therapy for start to deal with what happened to you.
    But more than that, please don't get frustrated of still having your virginity.
    I know it's a big deal, and you probably feel like if you lost it you'd have better relationships.
    But do you really want to be with someone who doesn't understand your past and accept that it will take time?
    Or someone that cheats on you?(that is 1000% not your fault, if they weren't willing to stand by you help you then that's in them, if sex was more important than your relationship that's on them, it was NOT your fault, you are an amazing person just as you are)
    If you are scared about losing it, the worst thing you can do is just go and rush out and lose it, it will taint the.memory and you will likely feel bad afterwards.
    You are an amazing person, I don't need to know you to know that.
    When you lose it, it should be to someone who appreciates the total awesomeness that is you!
    It should be to someone who is willing to take it slow, and go at a speed that works for you.
    Who will stop when you ask them to, and who will listen to you and how you feel.
    If you have to try and build up to it for a few weeks or more, the person you lose it to should accept an understand this about you.
    You will find someone who will do this and in the mean time just enjoy your life.
    Also, you could watch YouTube vids about people's first times. K know that sounds kinda weird, but maybe if you hear about people's experiences your idea of how it will be will relax.
    I hear it's painful cause it's gotta stretch, but if you go slower (I never thought I'd be saying this.....) Then you'll do adapt to it.
    But after you've done it a few times it won't hurt.
    Think of it like riding a bike.
    You fall off a few times and it hurts, but then you perfect the skill and don't fall again.
    You'll be fine when it happens so long as it's with someone you love, who respects you and listens to you.
    I don't know what happened to you in your past, but if it's affecting your ability to have sex, then the other person should be willing to work with you.
    Plus there's something that a lot of women have that can make sex painful (not sure what it is, but there's two buzzfeed vids in it), but just because it's painful doesn't mean you can't have it. Theres multiple ways to have sex without...
    The obvious penetration.

    Take your time, do it right
 
 
 
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