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    I started uni in September 2016, so I'm about halfway through my first year, and I really cannot stand being at uni, and I'll list the reasons why:

    1. Loneliness - I have really, really struggled to settle into uni. I have no friends, and I go most days without saying a word to anyone. Over the past 3 years my social skills have reached an all time low. A lot of the time I try to convince myself that it doesn't matter that much, or that I'm not the only one, but it still hurts deep down. I miss having friends, or at least just someone to talk to.

    2. Course - I'm taking Law and i'm not enjoying it at all. The only module I actually enjoy is Criminal Law, besides that it's truly a chore having to come in and study this subject day in, day out. As well as that I actually truly don't think I'm smart enough to be studying Law.

    3. Stress - at the moment I'm fine, but this is the point where lots of assessments are being set and deadlines will approach in the next few weeks/months. I feel like I'm just about getting by, but with the added pressure of assessments I can tell my stress levels are going to go through the roof. I haven't dealt well with stress before, and the last time I felt like this (which was during sixth form) my weight dropped and I was losing hair. I'm so scared about what will happen this time around.

    I don't know what to do. I don't feel like there's anyone I can talk to who will a) understand what I'm going through, and b) not make me feel worse for having spoken up in the first place.

    I'm really struggling. Any advice is appreciated.
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    I now see what my teachers at Sixth Form meant by a lot of people pick courses they don't actually enjoy and drop out
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    Get thee to student services. They will be able to help you and provide counselling. This will particularly help with the stress. In the meantime look up mindfulness and relaxation techniques (there may be resources on your university's website).

    If you hate your course consider why you're doing it. For example I hated pure maths and found it difficult and boring but I had to do those modules before I could specialise in statistics which I actually like. So is what your doing now a means to an end? Or do you not even lie the idea of "the end" anymore? Talk to your personal tutor and student services about your options.

    I am the most anti-social person I know who doesn't secretly want to be a hermit. I don't get along with most people, I'm shy and I'm very introverted. Honestly I don't know how I make any friends! But as long as put yourself forward for things like societies, student council positions, internships, etc. In the end you will meet at least one person who "gets" you and you can befriend. Also there is great value in people you can say hello to in the corrider or you can ask for advice. Even small levels of socialisation can be very beneficial so don't pressure yourself to make friends when acquaintances are really the first step.
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    (Original post by I'm The Real MVP)
    I started uni in September 2016, so I'm about halfway through my first year, and I really cannot stand being at uni, and I'll list the reasons why:

    1. Loneliness - I have really, really struggled to settle into uni. I have no friends, and I go most days without saying a word to anyone. Over the past 3 years my social skills have reached an all time low. A lot of the time I try to convince myself that it doesn't matter that much, or that I'm not the only one, but it still hurts deep down. I miss having friends, or at least just someone to talk to.

    2. Course - I'm taking Law and i'm not enjoying it at all. The only module I actually enjoy is Criminal Law, besides that it's truly a chore having to come in and study this subject day in, day out. As well as that I actually truly don't think I'm smart enough to be studying Law.

    3. Stress - at the moment I'm fine, but this is the point where lots of assessments are being set and deadlines will approach in the next few weeks/months. I feel like I'm just about getting by, but with the added pressure of assessments I can tell my stress levels are going to go through the roof. I haven't dealt well with stress before, and the last time I felt like this (which was during sixth form) my weight dropped and I was losing hair. I'm so scared about what will happen this time around.

    I don't know what to do. I don't feel like there's anyone I can talk to who will a) understand what I'm going through, and b) not make me feel worse for having spoken up in the first place.

    I'm really struggling. Any advice is appreciated.

    Well at least you set out your issues well.

    1. Loneliness is a major part if you have failed to make friends. They would make all the difference. You can try , but you have to identify wht it hasnt happened and whether you can fix it. It doesnt really happen by accident. A few friends and it cna seem a whole lot less hostile.

    2.Most people enjoy criminal, but if you hate the rest then you shoudl consider whether its really the subject for you. You get one gift funding year, so if you wnat to change courses you can, but do it in the first year. If you leave it till your second yearand try to change you will not be fully funded.

    3. Stress is a case of montoring yourself and making sure you have an anti stress strategy. that includes looking after yourself, sleep, nutrition and social life, relaxation. The other aspect is being well organised and working hard. With 1 and 2 to contend with the stress will be magnified.


    If its not the course for you, then leave imo and pick something else. Did you want to practice? There are other things you can do.

    Talk to uni support and your parents or friends back home. It has to be a conscious decision by you. It wouldnt be smart to continue on a course that makes you unhappy for three years. maybe take the rest of the year out and do an appreniceship or get a job, then reurn when you feel you are ready for it and know what to do. Hang in there. Do speak to people. these forums are full of people who havent made friends. there will be hundreds at your uni, but you all dont realise you want to make friends.
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    (Original post by monkyvirus)
    Get thee to student services. They will be able to help you and provide counselling. This will particularly help with the stress. In the meantime look up mindfulness and relaxation techniques (there may be resources on your university's website).

    If you hate your course consider why you're doing it. For example I hated pure maths and found it difficult and boring but I had to do those modules before I could specialise in statistics which I actually like. So is what your doing now a means to an end? Or do you not even lie the idea of "the end" anymore? Talk to your personal tutor and student services about your options.

    I am the most anti-social person I know who doesn't secretly want to be a hermit. I don't get along with most people, I'm shy and I'm very introverted. Honestly I don't know how I make any friends! But as long as put yourself forward for things like societies, student council positions, internships, etc. In the end you will meet at least one person who "gets" you and you can befriend. Also there is great value in people you can say hello to in the corrider or you can ask for advice. Even small levels of socialisation can be very beneficial so don't pressure yourself to make friends when acquaintances are really the first step.
    Honestly, thank you.

    I did counselling last (academic) year and didn't find it too helpful, so I've been reluctant to start again. But I think you're right, I do need to get some help.

    In terms of the course, it's possible I might have a similar situation to you. Next year we get to choose more options, so I guess I should wait it out. I think the fact that I never wanted to do law in the first place is not helping though.

    I honestly think I must come across as so anti-social and standoffish, but I'm just so shy! Even putting myself in situations where I don't know anybody is frightening to me. I did join some societies at the beginning of the year, and I've since stopped attending for this very reason. I think I just need to push myself out of my comfort zone, although it's so much easier said than done. Thank you for the advice though, it's put things into perspective.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Well at least you set out your issues well.

    1. Loneliness is a major part if you have failed to make friends. They would make all the difference. You can try , but you have to identify wht it hasnt happened and whether you can fix it. It doesnt really happen by accident. A few friends and it cna seem a whole lot less hostile.

    2.Most people enjoy criminal, but if you hate the rest then you shoudl consider whether its really the subject for you. You get one gift funding year, so if you wnat to change courses you can, but do it in the first year. If you leave it till your second yearand try to change you will not be fully funded.

    3. Stress is a case of montoring yourself and making sure you have an anti stress strategy. that includes looking after yourself, sleep, nutrition and social life, relaxation. The other aspect is being well organised and working hard. With 1 and 2 to contend with the stress will be magnified.


    If its not the course for you, then leave imo and pick something else. Did you want to practice? There are other things you can do.

    Talk to uni support and your parents or friends back home. It has to be a conscious decision by you. It wouldnt be smart to continue on a course that makes you unhappy for three years. maybe take the rest of the year out and do an appreniceship or get a job, then return when you feel you are ready for it and know what to do. Hang in there. Do speak to people. these forums are full of people who havent made friends. there will be hundreds at your uni, but you all dont realise you want to make friends.
    I'm just so awful at making friends, I'm so shy in the first instance until I get comfortable around a person, but most people don't stick around that long

    I'm scared of dropping out/switching courses, a) because I don't know what else I'd do, and b) because I know how much it'd disappoint my parents. It's kind of a lose-lose situation.

    Thank you very much for the tips on stress, I realise I don't look after myself very much at all. Everything is very full on for me, and I don't make time to just relax.

    Thanks again!
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    (Original post by I'm The Real MVP)
    Honestly, thank you.

    I did counselling last (academic) year and didn't find it too helpful, so I've been reluctant to start again. But I think you're right, I do need to get some help.

    In terms of the course, it's possible I might have a similar situation to you. Next year we get to choose more options, so I guess I should wait it out. I think the fact that I never wanted to do law in the first place is not helping though.

    I honestly think I must come across as so anti-social and standoffish, but I'm just so shy! Even putting myself in situations where I don't know anybody is frightening to me. I did join some societies at the beginning of the year, and I've since stopped attending for this very reason. I think I just need to push myself out of my comfort zone, although it's so much easier said than done. Thank you for the advice though, it's put things into perspective.
    What are you learning about during the courses, cause currently im retaking year 12, cause i dun goofed the first time. At this point im still not entirely sure what to do, if you could give some insight into what youre learning that would be great
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    (Original post by DarthGrizzly)
    What are you learning about during the courses, cause currently im retaking year 12, cause i dun goofed the first time. At this point im still not entirely sure what to do, if you could give some insight into what youre learning that would be great
    I'm taking law, and the first year at my particular uni is split up into four modules: Contract Law, Property Law, Criminal Law and Public Law. I think modules will be pretty similar in other unis too, although I do know that at some other unis they don't take contract in year 1.

    In really basic terms, this is what I've covered so far since September:

    Contract: the formation of contracts, what constitutes a contract, breaches of contracts
    Property: what is property, different types of property, types of property ownership, leases and licenses
    Criminal: different aspects of crimes (e.g. actus reus and mens rea), murder, manslaughter, sexual crimes, defences
    Public: human rights, HRA 1998 and the ECHR, the functions of government and parliament (if you've studied UK Government & Politics at A-Level, this is actually quite similar)

    I hope this helps, I can give you more information about Law if you'd like I hope the rest of year 12 goes well, take it from me that if you put the effort in this year, next year will go much smoother
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    (Original post by I'm The Real MVP)
    I'm just so awful at making friends, I'm so shy in the first instance until I get comfortable around a person, but most people don't stick around that long

    I'm scared of dropping out/switching courses, a) because I don't know what else I'd do, and b) because I know how much it'd disappoint my parents. It's kind of a lose-lose situation.

    Thank you very much for the tips on stress, I realise I don't look after myself very much at all. Everything is very full on for me, and I don't make time to just relax.

    Thanks again!
    Join clubs and get involved in volunteer work where the focus is on doing and you will make friends by attending. You must ahve some hobbies or activities you are interested in.

    At the moment your studies are not going well. Its a disaster if you know you are going to perform poorly in Y2 and y3. You will have no legal career if that is your intention. If you hate it that much.

    Go and talk to student support and careers. You seem too trapped in your own perceived troubles to see the bigger picture.

    Not disappointing parents isnt a good enough reason. During your first year yu still ahve the option to change. As soon as you start Y2 that changes.
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    (Original post by I'm The Real MVP)
    Honestly, thank you.

    I did counselling last (academic) year and didn't find it too helpful, so I've been reluctant to start again. But I think you're right, I do need to get some help.
    I always found counselling annoying at the time but after doing it on-and-off again for 6 years I realised I was much better. I think even if the counsellor doesn't help you much they're at least someone who listens to you and can help you get your thoughts in order. If you have serious other problems like mental health issues or past trauma you should also see a GP because student counsellors aren't equipped to deal with more serious problems.

    In terms of the course, it's possible I might have a similar situation to you. Next year we get to choose more options, so I guess I should wait it out. I think the fact that I never wanted to do law in the first place is not helping though.
    As other's have said you do get a "free" year with student finance so you should consider if you want to start again on a different couse before the start of next year. This is something to talk about with student services as they are well equipped to help you with that sort of dilemma.

    If you never wanted to do it at all changing might be wiser. In my case I really wanted to do maths it just turned I was only suited to one sub-field. I wasn't put off by the idea in general.

    I honestly think I must come across as so anti-social and standoffish, but I'm just so shy! Even putting myself in situations where I don't know anybody is frightening to me. I did join some societies at the beginning of the year, and I've since stopped attending for this very reason. I think I just need to push myself out of my comfort zone, although it's so much easier said than done. Thank you for the advice though, it's put things into perspective.
    I actually ended up as a society president. I didn't make a lot of friends but just taking part really helped me.

    Good luck, I hope things get better for you soon!
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    I feel like maybe if the course isn't for you you could start looking for a new one at a different uni on ucas. You could then take a gap year for the rest of the year working in possibly retail as this will help improve your social skills and your finance as well. This will then give you a new shot at making friends at a new uni in a course you may enjoy more.


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    Quit uni.
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    1. In terms of Loneliness, do you have hobbies? Try joining clubs perhaps - sounds cliche but it honestly works. You could also try your best to have regular contact (even online) with old friends from home. Meeting up with them at the weekends helps a lot too, I've only got to meet my close friends twice since starting college but I always felt great after.

    2. As for your course, have you thought about taking Criminology instead?
    (Original post by I'm The Real MVP)
    I'm taking Law and i'm not enjoying it at all. The only module I actually enjoy is Criminal Law
    if that's what you're leaning towards but still like the 'law' idea (although it doesn't side that way) you can always specialise when you get your degree if you decide to carry on.

    3. Ah yes, stress. Unfortunately there isn't much you can do here other that put in effort with organisation, time planning and studying to ease some nerves. Don't forget to do simple things like sleeping, eating well, even lighting a candle as you study and listening to music. Staying focus helps.
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    What Uni are you in?
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    (Original post by JamesManc)
    Quit uni.
    Not happening lol

    (Original post by undergrad123)
    What Uni are you in?
    Westminster
 
 
 
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