A Journey to All A*s (Hopefully)

*looks at grades*

Welp the journey to A* is going to be quite short for you if you keep the good work up.

Good luck on the French coursework, I have to resit my Spanish writing exam 1 and 2 in the half term holidays. Got good scores on Speaking 1 and 2.

Ah all credit goes to my Spanish teacher, he's a really cool guy that has to put up with all our mess and resits. Incredible flexible, he is.

Yeah I would have that issue as well, I memorise it-
what? Learn it? no no no why learn when you can memorise it and get Bs and As? It's not like AQA actually care if you can speak Spanish no no no.

Yeah and then I'm like "oh yeah here we go HERE WE GO!"

I enter the room,

"*breaths in* Hola me.....wait......oh no."

I always cry when I watch English Lit revision videos just like "HOW THE HELL CAN I SAY THAT? THAT WOULD BE A LIE! I DON'T KNOW WHY SHAKESPEARE DID THIS!"

I don't know who's in charge of exam boards, I would love to send them this picture.




As a good friend of mine said, "English Literature is about making stuff up and justifying it"...He says as he gets handed his mock results and sees he got a Grade 3. *claps*

You've done so well in your mocks!

Since when did A*+ become a thing?

since it was written on my results paper? idk it's an indicator of how close you are to the boundary, I guess it was pretty solid

Sounds like something made up by your school. That's not to suggest it's not impressive, you have some outstanding results there.

Says the girl that got an Grade 8.

I used to love analyzing things, I really did.

But then I entered Year 11.

And then I went into a spiral ohhhh my.

*looks at McDonald logo*

Friend: You know Katzen, I never understood the yellow arches.

Me: *ahem* The founders of McDonald decided to use the yellow arches in order to symbolise happiness. The effect this has on potential customers is that they will associate happiness with McDonald and therefore will feel the need to cure their depression by eating McChicken Sandwhich and Fish Filliet.

Friend: Oh my ****ing God.

Me: Do you mind? *ahem* These types of logo are common as the founders used psychology studies in order to understand the human behaviour towards colours hence why various companies such as Pizza Hut uses a red colour to make their custom-

Friend: Dude shut the **** up.

His facial expression was really funny though, we had just finished from an English intervention so doing this after a few 10 minutes just pissed him off so bad.

What.

No no no that wasn't dedication, that me being a prick to my friend. Do you want to be a prick?! Do you want to lose friends? Do you want to be that one girl that gets As and A*s but doesn't have friends?

If yes, make sure you record yourself and send it to me so I can slowly watch you lose friends, I'm a very sadistic individual if you couldn't tell from my signature of Donald Trump.

Here the the student has shown the audience that she cheats in the exam. I can infer this as the student gets really good grades on her exams yet fails to correctly identify the language devices of the writer. An example of this is when she incorrectly identifies one of the language device as a rhetorical questi- THAT WASN'T A RHETORICAL QUESTION! That was an actual question.

Jking jking I care. Yeah yeah 100% I care a lot.

Ahhhh bless her heart she thinks we care....

> today I've done jack shite in terms of revision

> but I did finish learning modular arithmetic

> today I've done jack shite in terms of revision

> but I did finish learning modular arithmetic

Stop being a douche bag pal. Your just jealous because your so stupid!
Leave the successful OP alone

Ba-ba-ba-banter!?

No no no, this isn't banter.

This is genuine confusion, one side you're like "oh I did jack ****" and then you're like "I finished learning how to calculate the circumference of the sun using 2 melons in my kitchen."

Make up your mind!