Is my lecturer flirting with me? Watch

SassyGirl25
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hi
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TheGoodPharaoh
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If it's anything like the video I watched last night then he definitely likes you, and things will escalate very quickly
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Tanqueray91
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(Original post by SassyGirl25)
I study Theology at Cambridge and my lectures does my New Testament module for this term. He is 31 and I'm 20. We went to the same college and he is part of the alumni so I always see him at the high table at balls or dinners with the principal... He has been always very intense, he demands a lot for his class and I just went to a couple of his seminars/lectures last term. The thing is I see him everywhere, and this term he has been very strange. I always see him at college and he tells me to treat him as another member of the college and not talk about class... The other day he said I looked beautiful and that I was such a leader, because I'm running to be secretary of the college and he knew... He said he wanted to go clubbing with me as a joke... And that same night I saw him in town alone and he was so flirty and said that he loved when I roll my eyes to him, he also knew how many classes I went last term... Do you think he is hitting on me slightly? I really like him but will try to avoid him is that is the case..he stares at my eyes so much
If he was being very flirty with you, and happened to see you in town then yeh probably - though also a little bit creepy in my opinion...

You're both consenting adults though so hey..!
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markova21
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You need to find out if 1] He is married or already in a relationship or living with someone [192.com will tell you if he lives alone or not], and 2] if he has a history of doing this with other students before .
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EC
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"treat him as another member of the college and not talk about class"

Yeah, I bet he'd probably prefer not talking at all. And to think he's a Theology lecturer at Cambridge.....

You're probably not his first victim, avoid him at all costs.
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ANM775
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(Original post by EC)
"treat him as another member of the college and not talk about class"

Yeah, I bet he'd probably prefer not talking at all. And to think he's a Theology lecturer at Cambridge.....

You're probably not his first victim, avoid him at all costs.

Victim?

she is 20, and he is 31

both are fully fledged adults

It's only the fact that he's her teacher that sounds a bit dodgy, but surely by 20 she's old and mature enough for him to not be considered a predator?
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TheGoodPharaoh
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(Original post by ANM775)
Victim?

she is 20, and he is 31

both are fully fledged adults

It's only the fact that he's her teacher that sounds a bit dodgy, but surely by 20 she's old and mature enough for him to not be considered a predator?
Just because she's 20 doesn't mean that he can't attack her or do anything like that (not saying that he definitely will but anything can happen)
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Zarek
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I should say. Bizarrely this is ok since you're both adults, even though he has a major influence on your academic success and well being. Beware.
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EC
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(Original post by ANM775)
Victim?

she is 20, and he is 31

both are fully fledged adults

It's only the fact that he's her teacher that sounds a bit dodgy, but surely by 20 she's old and mature enough for him to not be considered a predator?
What does being adults or age have to do with being a predator or not, a predator isn't defined by that.

I didn't literally mean ''victim'' as in a victim of sexual assault. It was a figure of speech. :lol: But you never know, he might be harmless or not.
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MagicNMedicine
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Sounds creepy and inappropriate.

Lecturers should not be saying things that are those suggestive compliments that show they are trying to pay attention to you in a sexual way, like how attractive you are etc.
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ANM775
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(Original post by EC)
What does being adults or age have to do with being a predator or not, a predator isn't defined by that.

I didn't literally mean ''victim'' as in a victim of sexual assault. It was a figure of speech. :lol: But you never know, he might be harmless or not.

yes, predator isn't defined by age but in these sorts of situations [teacher/student] the teacher is almost always made out to be the predator, tbh I can understand why people may think this way if the male teacher is like 30 and the girl is like 13 or something.

but at these ages [20 and 31] I personally would not jump the gun into auto assuming he was a predator

your use of the word victim lead me to believe that is how you was viewing this guy mentioned in the OP

maybe I got the wrong end of the stick, I don't know.
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paulbarlow
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nope it would be an abusive relationship. he is in position of power. in a normal situation it would not matter but its not normal. it could leave either party open to blackmail. your their to study Theology so it would be reasonable for you to understand the moral issues connected to such conduct. a simple test if the man or woman is wanting to enter a relationship then it must be in the open and declared. so you could not gain an unfair advantage over the other students. if he wants it to be a secret then thats your warning.
but really when our theologians are at it like rabbits it bodes ill for the morals of our world.
so preaches an old fart. as your studying the new testament study this mat 5:28
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ANM775
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(Original post by paulbarlow)
nope it would be an abusive relationship. he is in position of power. in a normal situation it would not matter but its not normal. it could leave either party open to blackmail. your their to study Theology so it would be reasonable for you to understand the moral issues connected to such conduct. a simple test if the man or woman is wanting to enter a relationship then it must be in the open and declared. so you could not gain an unfair advantage over the other students. if he wants it to be a secret then thats your warning.
but really when our theologians are at it like rabbits it bodes ill for the morals of our world.
so preaches an old fart. as your studying the new testament study this mat 5:28
I think the relationship would be unprofessional, but not an abusive relationship because the girl is 20 [an adult]

does anyone remember on friends when ross was dating bruce willis daughter and she was his student and he was her university teacher?

it didn't seem so bad lol....


where do we draw the line? what if a 31 year old teacher starts a relationship with a 35 year old mature student?

is that 31 year old teacher being abusive too?
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SassyGirl25
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It's very true, I just feel he is hitting on me and I find him attractive we have chemistry, I see him everywhere and he is very much single and he said it while talking to me and a group casually discussing marriage in Cambridge bubble.. He is definitely not a creep I just don't know if I should flirt back or just ignore him, he is everywhere!!!
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paulbarlow
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if its a student teacher relationship then that has to be the line. a none teaching lecture having an relationship is slightly better. but it needs to be open and public. and if they are in a relationship do not go there. from family experience its distructive
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tamil fever
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sounds creepy..... I agree with EC
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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(Original post by SassyGirl25)
It's very true, I just feel he is hitting on me and I find him attractive we have chemistry, I see him everywhere and he is very much single and he said it while talking to me and a group casually discussing marriage in Cambridge bubble.. He is definitely not a creep I just don't know if I should flirt back or just ignore him, he is everywhere!!!
I don't know about Cambridge but at The Other Place (the dark blue place), some colleges/depts have rules about these kinda things. It's best not to flirt back without knowing whether there are policies against student-tutor relationships.

I'm inclined to say you shouldn't get involved with him, however attracted you might be to him and regardless of whether there are policies or not. It could easily get messy, imho
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