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URGENT: Intense friend drama making me sick!! Watch

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    #1

    I'm in year 12 and A-levels have been a struggle. I really need to focus on my studies right now but drama at school within my friendship group is all that's on my mind and it's making me physically sick.

    Basically I have one friend X who has really changed this year. He's doing bad, stupid, just awful things and I know about all of it coz he confessed. We're part of a bigger friendship group and there's loads of history there but let's leave that for now. Anyway, start of year 12 everyone's getting on. Then all of this starts and it just descends into chaos.

    I was so worried about X, he's really in a downwards spiral, literally spinning out of control. The worst part is he has no intention of changing or making it right.

    Word gets out about X and rumours start swirling. I have a heart to heart with our mutual friends A and B, and tell them bits of what's going on because I'm so worried about X. They take it completely the wrong way and have a huge fall out with X because they don't want to be dragged down by him too.

    At this point I'm feeling like torn and a two faced beast. On one hand I'm being nice to X and trying to support him (even though I'm scared of him and what he does) and then also trying to be on A and B's side. X doesn't know that I told A & B about him and he'd go mad if he ever found out.

    I feel so wrapped up in all this. X keeps peer pressuring me to join him in his evil ways and trying to corrupt me (to do drugs, skip school, etc) and I am COMPLETELY not like that. But he's so forceful and intimidating and doesn't take no for an answer (he physically drags you). I'm scared of him & don't want anything to do with this but if I were to get away from him or anything, he would go mad and start exposing secrets of mine (trust me he's that kind of person).

    So I feel trapped with X but don't want to be a part of his bad deeds. I feel distant & alienated from A & B (they're wary of me and keep away from me because I hang around with/support X).

    I feel paranoid, obsessed, anxious, nervous. It's so stupid, I wish there was a way I could just flip the off switch and convince myself this is all meaningless rubbish.

    What can I do? I literally want to forget about all this and focus on my studies, does anyone have any advice on how I can solve this huge mess I've got myself into?


    I'm so sorry for this huge text, I've literally been hung up over this for ages
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    I wish I could relate to you and give you advice, but I feel like X is someone I can relate to... I wish I could meet the guy. Anyway, if you're not about that life, don't do it just focus on studies and be there for X
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    To be perfectly honest, you're probably not going to care or see these people ever again once you leave school. So you can either leave with good grades and a straight track to university, or you can leave a druggie.

    You need to know what kind of friends are worth keeping. And they aren't the kind of people who make you afraid, or who are willing to blackmail you at the drop of a hat. I'd recommend cutting contact asap
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    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...e5b50213ec.jpg
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    OP is LisaNikita :rolleyes:
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    wee in their faces
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    (Original post by Another)
    To be perfectly honest, you're probably not going to care or see these people ever again once you leave school. So you can either leave with good grades and a straight track to university, or you can leave a druggie.

    You need to know what kind of friends are worth keeping. And they aren't the kind of people who make you afraid, or who are willing to blackmail you at the drop of a hat. I'd recommend cutting contact asap
    You're completely right and thank you for your brutal honesty, you're completely right. I have classes with X and I see him so much, my fear is if I cut him off I'm not gonna have X and I'm basically done with A & B, will I end up being even more miserable.

    Thank you again, so much
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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1IAbIuAn1c
    (Original post by Another)
    To be perfectly honest, you're probably not going to care or see these people ever again once you leave school. So you can either leave with good grades and a straight track to university, or you can leave a druggie.

    You need to know what kind of friends are worth keeping. And they aren't the kind of people who make you afraid, or who are willing to blackmail you at the drop of a hat. I'd recommend cutting contact asap
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    It's so true. Thank you
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    (Original post by zayn008)
    I wish I could relate to you and give you advice, but I feel like X is someone I can relate to... I wish I could meet the guy. Anyway, if you're not about that life, don't do it just focus on studies and be there for X
    Aww ok, I hope everything is ok with you. It just hurts that I can't seem to trust anyone tbh. But yes, you're right and I'll take your advice and try and keep my head down
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in year 12 and A-levels have been a struggle. I really need to focus on my studies right now but drama at school within my friendship group is all that's on my mind and it's making me physically sick.

    Basically I have one friend X who has really changed this year. He's doing bad, stupid, just awful things and I know about all of it coz he confessed. We're part of a bigger friendship group and there's loads of history there but let's leave that for now. Anyway, start of year 12 everyone's getting on. Then all of this starts and it just descends into chaos.

    I was so worried about X, he's really in a downwards spiral, literally spinning out of control. The worst part is he has no intention of changing or making it right.

    Word gets out about X and rumours start swirling. I have a heart to heart with our mutual friends A and B, and tell them bits of what's going on because I'm so worried about X. They take it completely the wrong way and have a huge fall out with X because they don't want to be dragged down by him too.

    At this point I'm feeling like torn and a two faced beast. On one hand I'm being nice to X and trying to support him (even though I'm scared of him and what he does) and then also trying to be on A and B's side. X doesn't know that I told A & B about him and he'd go mad if he ever found out.

    I feel so wrapped up in all this. X keeps peer pressuring me to join him in his evil ways and trying to corrupt me (to do drugs, skip school, etc) and I am COMPLETELY not like that. But he's so forceful and intimidating and doesn't take no for an answer (he physically drags you). I'm scared of him & don't want anything to do with this but if I were to get away from him or anything, he would go mad and start exposing secrets of mine (trust me he's that kind of person).

    So I feel trapped with X but don't want to be a part of his bad deeds. I feel distant & alienated from A & B (they're wary of me and keep away from me because I hang around with/support X).

    I feel paranoid, obsessed, anxious, nervous. It's so stupid, I wish there was a way I could just flip the off switch and convince myself this is all meaningless rubbish.

    What can I do? I literally want to forget about all this and focus on my studies, does anyone have any advice on how I can solve this huge mess I've got myself into?


    I'm so sorry for this huge text, I've literally been hung up over this for ages
    Separate yourself from the bad influence. Have you tried talking to his parents about what's going on, maybe they could make him see sense? As bad as it sounds you need to be more selfish and focus on yourself and your grades.
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    X and Y this looked like a maths equation
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    This is exactly how much enthusiasm I have for my degree, lmao

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You're completely right and thank you for your brutal honesty, you're completely right. I have classes with X and I see him so much, my fear is if I cut him off I'm not gonna have X and I'm basically done with A & B, will I end up being even more miserable.

    Thank you again, so much
    No worries

    I say this because I had a "large" drama scene and huge falling out with (what I thought were) my friends in year 13 very close to exam time. I thought it was the worst thing that could ever happen, but I found a really nice group of second friends who I could make some long term friends with.

    Fast forward a year; I can't even remember the names of my first group of friends, and the second lot had reunions throughout the year without even telling me or bothering to invite me. Moral of the story: everyone is full of bullsh*t, friendships are temporary, just concentrate on yourself!

    And as an earlier poster mentioned - if someone wants to go down a self destructive spiral, they will. And there's nothing you can do about it. He won't be the last one you come across!
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    (Original post by _Charlotte15)
    Separate yourself from the bad influence. Have you tried talking to his parents about what's going on, maybe they could make him see sense? As bad as it sounds you need to be more selfish and focus on yourself and your grades.
    There are adults aware of what he's doing so hopefully it should get sorted out. I share a class with him and I see him loads so I don't really know what to do. Aside from the and stuff, he is an alright person and he's fun to talk to I guess. Will I end up being in a worse position if I distance myself from him and he ends up revealing secrets about me?

    I feel so evil and like a ***** for being so two faced, being nice to him but in my heart being scared & intimidated. How can I say NO when he keeps pestering me to do things.

    I want to tell someone but the repercussions could be huge and I don't need more grief or to get involved.

    Thanks for your response, it's really helped me to see I need to put myself first. I just need to work out how
    • #2
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    I had a very close friend like that. I stuck by him, I tried to help him but in the end it was too little too late
    He went missing April last year, and one of the toughest, hardest, most indescribable moments of my life was when his brother told me they found his body. I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe, it was like I got hit by a truck and I don't think it's something I'm ever going to fully get over.

    Only cut yourself off if he's definitely beyond saving, if he isn't then for the love of God get him some help
    I'm sorry you're in this position OP, I really am
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There are adults aware of what he's doing so hopefully it should get sorted out. I share a class with him and I see him loads so I don't really know what to do. Aside from the and stuff, he is an alright person and he's fun to talk to I guess. Will I end up being in a worse position if I distance myself from him and he ends up revealing secrets about me?

    I feel so evil and like a ***** for being so two faced, being nice to him but in my heart being scared & intimidated. How can I say NO when he keeps pestering me to do things.

    I want to tell someone but the repercussions could be huge and I don't need more grief or to get involved.

    Thanks for your response, it's really helped me to see I need to put myself first. I just need to work out how
    If he's a close friend you should have no fear of him revealing any of your secrets. I think you should get him on his own and just make him aware that you aren't in to the things he is and explain how uncomfortable you feel with him forcing these things upon you and he should understand. If you distance yourself more, he will also be less inclined to ask you to participate in things that you don't want to.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in year 12 and A-levels have been a struggle. I really need to focus on my studies right now but drama at school within my friendship group is all that's on my mind and it's making me physically sick.

    Basically I have one friend X who has really changed this year. He's doing bad, stupid, just awful things and I know about all of it coz he confessed. We're part of a bigger friendship group and there's loads of history there but let's leave that for now. Anyway, start of year 12 everyone's getting on. Then all of this starts and it just descends into chaos.

    I was so worried about X, he's really in a downwards spiral, literally spinning out of control. The worst part is he has no intention of changing or making it right.

    Word gets out about X and rumours start swirling. I have a heart to heart with ouReplyr mutual friends A and B, and tell them bits of what's going on because I'm so worried about X. They take it completely the wrong way and have a huge fall out with X because they don't want to be dragged down by him too.

    At this point I'm feeling like torn and a two faced beast. On one hand I'm being nice to X and trying to support him (even though I'm scared of him and what he does) and then also trying to be on A and B's side. X doesn't know that I told A & B about him and he'd go mad if he ever found out.

    I feel so wrapped up in all this. X keeps peer pressuring me to join him in his evil ways and trying to corrupt me (to do drugs, skip school, etc) and I am COMPLETELY not like that. But he's so forceful and intimidating and doesn't take no for an answer (he physically drags you). I'm scared of him & don't want anything to do with this but if I were to get away from him or anything, he would go mad and start exposing secrets of mine (trust me he's that kind of person).

    So I feel trapped with X but don't want to be a part of his bad deeds. I feel distant & alienated from A & B (they're wary of me and keep away from me because I hang around with/support X).

    I feel paranoid, obsessed, anxious, nervous. It's so stupid, I wish there was a way I could just flip the off switch and convince myself this is all meaningless rubbish.

    What can I do? I literally want to forget about all this and focus on my studies, does anyone have any advice on how I can solve this huge mess I've got myself into?


    I'm so sorry for this huge text, I've literally been hung up over this for ages


    Just break it down into its componmponent parts.


    1. What should matter to you are your studies amd future happiness Anything that threatens those should be avoided or removed from your life.

    2. X was a friend but he isnt behaving as one now. have a word with him and see if he wnats to talk. If he doesnt write him a note or send an e-mail. It should say soemthing like you are friends and you would like to stay that way but recently he has been asking you to do things which you dont wnat to, when all you really want is to do well at school and stay out of trouble. Tell him to please stop asking you to do thse things as you will say no and you arent interested. If he then carries on drop him and if he spread rumours he spreads rumours. Its not worth your future.

    3. A and B you shouldnt have had the heart to ehart with them as talking behind X's back has made it worse. Tell them you are bord of the drama and its all very stressful. You like being their friend but your studies come first. For the moment you are still friends with X. Your studies come first and you hate being in he middle. You will try and stay friends with both, but you wont get involved any more. If they dont wnat to be friends that that would be a shame, but youve told your parents you will study and you don have time for all the falling out.

    Then just get on with your studies and be prepared to drop A , B and X.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Another)
    This is exactly how much enthusiasm I have for my degree, lmao



    No worries

    I say this because I had a "large" drama scene and huge falling out with (what I thought were) my friends in year 13 very close to exam time. I thought it was the worst thing that could ever happen, but I found a really nice group of second friends who I could make some long term friends with.

    Fast forward a year; I can't even remember the names of my first group of friends, and the second lot had reunions throughout the year without even telling me or bothering to invite me. Moral of the story: everyone is full of bullsh*t, friendships are temporary, just concentrate on yourself!

    And as an earlier poster mentioned - if someone wants to go down a self destructive spiral, they will. And there's nothing you can do about it. He won't be the last one you come across!
    Thank you so so much, your wise words mean so much to me.

    I think the worst part of this is the sympathy & care I have for X. It's like I feel I have to be there for him, just so he doesn't do something stupid. But he takes it for granted, constantly threatening to "expose" my secrets. And then the next day he's trying to drag me down with him. He's like a walking tornado trying to suck me in.

    I've definitely learned that you can't really trust anyone. I never would have guessed X could be like this but then again I never would have thought A & B would be such fake friends. It's just good to know that there are wise, genuine, nice people -like yourself & the other responses on this thread - out there in the world. Thank you for taking the time to help.

    Going forward, should I just try and distance myself (gradually) from X. How do I stay strong when he tries to pursuade me to do bad stuff?

    Also, how do I get rid of these feelings of guilt & anxiety. Guilt for telling A & B about X, and anxiety for what he's gonna do next.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I had a very close friend like that. I stuck by him, I tried to help him but in the end it was too little too late
    He went missing April last year, and one of the toughest, hardest, most indescribable moments of my life was when his brother told me they found his body. I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe, it was like I got hit by a truck and I don't think it's something I'm ever going to fully get over.

    Only cut yourself off if he's definitely beyond saving, if he isn't then for the love of God get him some help
    I'm sorry you're in this position OP, I really am
    Oh my gosh, I am so so sorry for what you've been through. I can't even begin to imagine how that can feel. It scares me because I can see my situation spiralling into something as horrific as that.

    I wish I could reach out somehow. Xx
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    Anon is LisaNikita and she is xobeauty
 
 
 
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