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Grilfriend has been messaging her ex and hiding it with bad messages, please help! Watch

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    I really don't know what to do.

    I noticed my girlfriend gets these FB messenger texts come up now and again on her phone and she will never open them in front of me. From a few different boys etc but thats fine, I trusted her etc. However one was from an ex that now lives in scotland and they were really good friends before dating dated then he moved away. i asked her about this and she said it was nothing etc but lately she has been acting differently and being a bit secretive so her fb was open on my laptop whilst she had a shower and i though F*ck it ill have a little look just to settle my thoughts so I dont need to worry about it.

    Turns out there are loads of messages to and fro from this ex, some of them quite explicit about when they were together in the past, mainly from him but she has made no effort to make him stop these messages, one was a very detailed message he sent her about a dream he had had about doing stuff to her etc.

    I then kinda brought it up when she came back by saying I've noticed messages come up on your phone etc which is worrying as theyre from your ex etc and you never open in front of me she said theyre just feiends etc etc so i leave to go home as she had work soon so I go home and go back on her account to screenshot these messages if need be for evidence and now they are all gone.

    She must of realised i was on to her and now she has deleted all the messages between them, sneaky fkcin *****!

    Please, my head is all over the place, what do I do !!!

    I love her..
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    Speak to her and ask her if she is happy with you, no matter the response you should be able to see if she really is, and then get rid of her if she is just leeching
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    (Original post by robneedsadvice)
    I really don't know what to do.

    I noticed my girlfriend gets these FB messenger texts come up now and again on her phone and she will never open them in front of me. From a few different boys etc but thats fine, I trusted her etc. However one was from an ex that now lives in scotland and they were really good friends before dating dated then he moved away. i asked her about this and she said it was nothing etc but lately she has been acting differently and being a bit secretive so her fb was open on my laptop whilst she had a shower and i though F*ck it ill have a little look just to settle my thoughts so I dont need to worry about it.

    Turns out there are loads of messages to and fro from this ex, some of them quite explicit about when they were together in the past, mainly from him but she has made no effort to make him stop these messages, one was a very detailed message he sent her about a dream he had had about doing stuff to her etc.

    I then kinda brought it up when she came back by saying I've noticed messages come up on your phone etc which is worrying as theyre from your ex etc and you never open in front of me she said theyre just feiends etc etc so i leave to go home as she had work soon so I go home and go back on her account to screenshot these messages if need be for evidence and now they are all gone.

    She must of realised i was on to her and now she has deleted all the messages between them, sneaky fkcin *****!

    Please, my head is all over the place, what do I do !!!

    I love her..
    you might love her, but the trust isnt there and she's seemingly emotionally cheating on you. Could be better to go your separate ways.
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    "sneaky fu**ing bi*ch"......."i love her"
    clearly you dont
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    if she purposely deleted them for 'lack of evidence' then there are other, easier ways to stop you from screenshotting them, such as logging out lmao.. and if she is, in fact, a sneaky *****, then you are too - especially when youre the one spying on her accounts on multiple occasions.
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    dump the hoe
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    (Original post by robneedsadvice)
    I really don't know what to do.

    I noticed my girlfriend gets these FB messenger texts come up now and again on her phone and she will never open them in front of me. From a few different boys etc but thats fine, I trusted her etc. However one was from an ex that now lives in scotland and they were really good friends before dating dated then he moved away. i asked her about this and she said it was nothing etc but lately she has been acting differently and being a bit secretive so her fb was open on my laptop whilst she had a shower and i though F*ck it ill have a little look just to settle my thoughts so I dont need to worry about it.

    Turns out there are loads of messages to and fro from this ex, some of them quite explicit about when they were together in the past, mainly from him but she has made no effort to make him stop these messages, one was a very detailed message he sent her about a dream he had had about doing stuff to her etc.

    I then kinda brought it up when she came back by saying I've noticed messages come up on your phone etc which is worrying as theyre from your ex etc and you never open in front of me she said theyre just feiends etc etc so i leave to go home as she had work soon so I go home and go back on her account to screenshot these messages if need be for evidence and now they are all gone.

    She must of realised i was on to her and now she has deleted all the messages between them, sneaky fkcin *****!

    Please, my head is all over the place, what do I do !!!

    I love her..

    Right. So I can definitely appreciate what you're going through and how you must be feeling, Ill offer my advice and its up to you to decide how to use it.

    I'm guessing you're young, as in under 2,1 and you've been with this girl for enough time to think you two are serious.
    I'd say, from personal experience, do not allow anyone to disrespect you and your position as boyfriend/girlfriend. Thing is, as young as you (possibly) are this relationship won't last forever- and thats not such a bad thing. Why would you want to be with someone who goes behind your back to entertain anyone else? Doesn't show respect nor commitment. Theres always someone better, believe it or not and at a young age that isn't the time to be trying to settle and wife-hunt.

    I'm 18 and my boyfriend was doing exactly the same until I ended things and honestly, its the best thing Ive done in a while. You think its gonna be the end of the world- but life does move on and Id much rather be with someone eventually, who will not be disrespectful, nor lie, nor cheat. Do you want to look back on your teenage years and think, 'I didn't do this/go here because every weekend I was indoors with a temporary girlfriend'- one of which who was unfaithful or showed signs of.

    Its up to you what you do. I'd say explain to her that what she's done is wrong and you're not willing to put up with it. The 'I'll change' nonsense is nonsense. But, if you must, tell her you need her to prove these changes before you get back together.

    If you take my advice, focus on you and your education/job/self and have fun in your teens- but good luck anyway.

    Shannon
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    I do love but but that doesnt detract she has been a sneaky *****? She also send a picture of her in her undies to him etc and had some video chats they had had on there :-(
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    Next that ***** and get yourself out there think it through like this, if she is pulling that **** now then she is obviously not satisfied with you so further down the line, say you move in or get married to her, and she then does this/has rights, what are you going to do. Mess with her head. Pretend you don't know and just break up with her tommorow, don't give her a reason. She'll keep going over and over it
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    If she feels the need to hide them just dump her and gtfo of there imo.

    That's the beginning of the end. That relationship is already over lol.

    Honestly I would give my girlfriend my passwords to all sorts of **** because I have nothing to hide and don't care. Sometimes a girl will have the same attitude as me in the beginning of the relationship, but then they'l start getting more secretive and that's when they're cheating on you lol.
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    (Original post by ShanBella)
    Right. So I can definitely appreciate what you're going through and how you must be feeling, Ill offer my advice and its up to you to decide how to use it.

    I'm guessing you're young, as in under 2,1 and you've been with this girl for enough time to think you two are serious.
    I'd say, from personal experience, do not allow anyone to disrespect you and your position as boyfriend/girlfriend. Thing is, as young as you (possibly) are this relationship won't last forever- and thats not such a bad thing. Why would you want to be with someone who goes behind your back to entertain anyone else? Doesn't show respect nor commitment. Theres always someone better, believe it or not and at a young age that isn't the time to be trying to settle and wife-hunt.

    I'm 18 and my boyfriend was doing exactly the same until I ended things and honestly, its the best thing Ive done in a while. You think its gonna be the end of the world- but life does move on and Id much rather be with someone eventually, who will not be disrespectful, nor lie, nor cheat. Do you want to look back on your teenage years and think, 'I didn't do this/go here because every weekend I was indoors with a temporary girlfriend'- one of which who was unfaithful or showed signs of.

    Its up to you what you do. I'd say explain to her that what she's done is wrong and you're not willing to put up with it. The 'I'll change' nonsense is nonsense. But, if you must, tell her you need her to prove these changes before you get back together.

    If you take my advice, focus on you and your education/job/self and have fun in your teens- but good luck anyway.

    Shannon
    Thankyou Shannon, we have been together 4 months, I'm 23 and shes just turned 22, I have literally been such a good boyfriend and have done so much for her and helped her out loads with her dissertation and home life as her parents splitting up, i have been her rock and she goes and does this behind my back Just heartbroken as this time I thought she was the one as was all going so well.
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    (Original post by neal95)
    Next that ***** and get yourself out there think it through like this, if she is pulling that **** now then she is obviously not satisfied with you so further down the line, say you move in or get married to her, and she then does this/has rights, what are you going to do. Mess with her head. Pretend you don't know and just break up with her tommorow, don't give her a reason. She'll keep going over and over it
    I agree, it isn't worth the nonsense especially since you're young. Have fun while you're young and don't stress about a 5 minute interest.
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    (Original post by robneedsadvice)
    Thankyou Shannon, we have been together 4 months, I'm 23 and shes just turned 22, I have literally been such a good boyfriend and have done so much for her and helped her out loads with her dissertation and home life as her parents splitting up, i have been her rock and she goes and does this behind my back Just heartbroken as this time I thought she was the one as was all going so well.

    Aw okay, so I was a little wrong but I still think the principle applies. Being with someone is fine but if you're trying to be serious make sure its someone you're happy to be with at all times- not just when they choose to be faithful. The way I think of it, is if I told my mum about whats happening- the real objective advice is what I'll get and what is the best thing to (usually) do. You being in the situation makes it hard to see reason, but imagine you two get serious and you're still putting up with such nonsense..
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    (Original post by robneedsadvice)
    Thankyou Shannon, we have been together 4 months, I'm 23 and shes just turned 22, I have literally been such a good boyfriend and have done so much for her and helped her out loads with her dissertation and home life as her parents splitting up, i have been her rock and she goes and does this behind my back Just heartbroken as this time I thought she was the one as was all going so well.
    Also, it sounds like youre a wonderful boyfriend and person and theres a plentiful supply of genuine, serious and loving girls who you could develop a good relationship with. You being lovely to her isn't a loss if someone more valuable is eventually gained.
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    Okay I'm in your girlfriend's position to be honest. Personally I liked to keep it touch with my ex as a friend because he was a nice person and made me laugh, but I didn't love him. He still loved me so yh we had inappropriate conversations once in a while but he knew I didn't have any feelings more than a friend. Obviously I didn't tell my boyfriend in case he took it the wrong way but when he found out he obviously took it the wrong way so I understand how you're feeling. I think sending pics in underwear is a little too extreme though, seems very dodgy if you ask me.
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    (Original post by robneedsadvice)
    Thankyou Shannon, we have been together 4 months, I'm 23 and shes just turned 22, I have literally been such a good boyfriend and have done so much for her and helped her out loads with her dissertation and home life as her parents splitting up, i have been her rock and she goes and does this behind my back Just heartbroken as this time I thought she was the one as was all going so well.
    This is what makes it harder to dump someone and move on. When you're putting in more effort than them and you feel like it will be such a waste of all the effort you put into the relationship just to let them go. But it will be worse when you find out you've been cheated on and she leaves you for that guy lol.

    Just need to be careful about who you choose for a relationship and make sure they're as good a person as you are and they're putting in just as much effort as you. Good people get taken advantage of. You need to be careful and be prepared for that.
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    First thing you should do is stop writing "etc" so much. Then you should probably confront her about it and see how you feel about her response.
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    (Original post by robneedsadvice)
    I do love but but that doesnt detract she has been a sneaky *****? She also send a picture of her in her undies to him etc and had some video chats they had had on there :-(
    She's still hung up on her ex and cheating on you. Leave her.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay I'm in your girlfriend's position to be honest. Personally I liked to keep it touch with my ex as a friend because he was a nice person and made me laugh, but I didn't love him. He still loved me so yh we had inappropriate conversations once in a while but he knew I didn't have any feelings more than a friend. Obviously I didn't tell my boyfriend in case he took it the wrong way but when he found out he obviously took it the wrong way so I understand how you're feeling. I think sending pics in underwear is a little too extreme though, seems very dodgy if you ask me.
    Wow okay, it just seems wrong though especially hiding it :-/ So what happened in your position? Did he leave you or did you stop messaging the other guy etc?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay I'm in your girlfriend's position to be honest. Personally I liked to keep it touch with my ex as a friend because he was a nice person and made me laugh, but I didn't love him. He still loved me so yh we had inappropriate conversations once in a while but he knew I didn't have any feelings more than a friend. Obviously I didn't tell my boyfriend in case he took it the wrong way but when he found out he obviously took it the wrong way so I understand how you're feeling. I think sending pics in underwear is a little too extreme though, seems very dodgy if you ask me.
    "as a friend" yet you still had "inappropriate conversations".

    This is exactly why people who are still in touch with their ex do not deserve to be trusted. Your boyfriend didn't take it the "wrong way", he took it for face value. Boy needs to drop you.
 
 
 
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