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Grilfriend has been messaging her ex and hiding it with bad messages, please help! Watch

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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    This is what makes it harder to dump someone and move on. When you're putting in more effort than them and you feel like it will be such a waste of all the effort you put into the relationship just to let them go. But it will be worse when you find out you've been cheated on and she leaves you for that guy lol.

    Just need to be careful about who you choose for a relationship and make sure they're as good a person as you are and they're putting in just as much effort as you. Good people get taken advantage of. You need to be careful and be prepared for that.
    You know what, that is one hundred percent how I feel. I literally think i am too nice and would literally do anything for her, no matter how it makes me feel. I have done so much and hardly get much of a thanks. her parents are splitting up and shes had stress with her uni work so I think I kinda kept let that be her excuse in my mind.

    I think deep down I know she is kinda taking advantage I guess but she is such a nice girl too and we have a lot in common, this has just ****ed it all up
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    (Original post by robneedsadvice)
    I really don't know what to do.

    I noticed my girlfriend gets these FB messenger texts come up now and again on her phone and she will never open them in front of me. From a few different boys etc but thats fine, I trusted her etc. However one was from an ex that now lives in scotland and they were really good friends before dating dated then he moved away. i asked her about this and she said it was nothing etc but lately she has been acting differently and being a bit secretive so her fb was open on my laptop whilst she had a shower and i though F*ck it ill have a little look just to settle my thoughts so I dont need to worry about it.

    Turns out there are loads of messages to and fro from this ex, some of them quite explicit about when they were together in the past, mainly from him but she has made no effort to make him stop these messages, one was a very detailed message he sent her about a dream he had had about doing stuff to her etc.

    I then kinda brought it up when she came back by saying I've noticed messages come up on your phone etc which is worrying as theyre from your ex etc and you never open in front of me she said theyre just feiends etc etc so i leave to go home as she had work soon so I go home and go back on her account to screenshot these messages if need be for evidence and now they are all gone.

    She must of realised i was on to her and now she has deleted all the messages between them, sneaky fkcin *****!

    Please, my head is all over the place, what do I do !!!

    I love her..
    1. Going on her laptop was a dumpable offence imo. Its a gross invasion of privacy.
    2. You cant ignore the fact you fund something out. Your only option is to talk to her.
    3. I imagine she either feels guilty, resents you like mad or both.
    4.Tricky but have a word and talk, then eother trust her or do not. Imo it sounds doomed anyway as you now both have trust issues with each other.
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    Deceptive and untrustworthy, get rid.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    1. Going on her laptop was a dumpable offence imo. Its a gross invasion of privacy.
    2. You cant ignore the fact you fund something out. Your only option is to talk to her.
    3. I imagine she either feels guilty, resents you like mad or both.
    4.Tricky but have a word and talk, then eother trust her or do not. Imo it sounds doomed anyway as you now both have trust issues with each other.
    Right 1. it was laptop that she had been borrowing for the last three weeks to do her dissertation as hers broke, so i let her have mine for that time and she left her FB logged in, I couldn't care less if she's talking to other guys as long as it doesnt cross the line and she was acting weird about her ex when I brought it up so thought I would check to give me peace of mind as i trusted her.

    She also doesn't know I know that I've seen the messages I just now know that she had deleted them as maybe felt bad once I brought up she had been messaging this guy a lot or she realised I was on to her and deleted the evidence hoping I wouldn't find out?
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    (Original post by robneedsadvice)
    Right 1. it was laptop that she had been borrowing for the last three weeks to do her dissertation as hers broke, so i let her have mine for that time and she left her FB logged in, I couldn't care less if she's talking to other guys as long as it doesnt cross the line and she was acting weird about her ex when I brought it up so thought I would check to give me peace of mind as i trusted her.

    She also doesn't know I know that I've seen the messages I just now know that she had deleted them as maybe felt bad once I brought up she had been messaging this guy a lot or she realised I was on to her and deleted the evidence hoping I wouldn't find out?
    It was her account and you know you shouldnt have been looking at it wthout her permission.

    She probably knows. If you think she doesnt know then you can either talk to her or not talk. If you dont talk, then you should trust her. Didnt you say she hadnt responded or encouraged back.

    Imo she knows.

    Work out which option you wnat to take and then act accordingly.
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    It's a mindset. In your head you've placed her on a pedestal. She knows you probably won't have the strength to get rid of her which is why she has decided to take liberties with you. Show her that actually you can find someone else who is above her. Whatever happens next and however you found out, you can't ignore that you have discovered she is keeping her options open. I guarantee that if she sees you talking to other girls she will beg you to remain monogamous, even if they are just mates
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    Execute Order 66 and get rid
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    I personally don't deal with any. Apparently I look like I should have lots of children and I get a lot of rude nuisance blunt to my face. Particular being told through implied logic that I should go homeless rather than have money etc. And I never asked for this sort of advice either. Yes so.... I think I may wait until I'm 45 or 50, I can't be bothered. You should maybe not think that you have to go out with someone, you could be happier in the short term at least for a few years. Also U had know girls/women who think it's acceptable to mess about with workplaces so I'm really really not happy with that and from what I understand already escalated to forms of authority in the armed forces which are now concerned with their behaviour though I wasn't the teller it was just noticed by someone higher up... Anyway I don't really want these types around me.
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    Shes sent photos of herself in her underwear to her ex.

    Seriously, this may sound harsh, but have some self respect man.

    She has lied to your face, and has sent inappropriate pictures of herself to another guy to tease him and turn him on.

    What more do you need to know exactly?
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    (Original post by robneedsadvice)
    You know what, that is one hundred percent how I feel. I literally think i am too nice and would literally do anything for her, no matter how it makes me feel. I have done so much and hardly get much of a thanks. her parents are splitting up and shes had stress with her uni work so I think I kinda kept let that be her excuse in my mind.

    I think deep down I know she is kinda taking advantage I guess but she is such a nice girl too and we have a lot in common, this has just ****ed it all up
    I think that if you could do anything for the person you love you deserve the same, someone who would do anything for you. She's not giving back to you all the love you're giving to her... I can understand how you're feeling, but you ou should always give priority to your feelings, and you aren't feeling good with her, you dont feel security and she's not giving you the security you need... A relationship involves two people, and in this case you're giving everything, she doesn't, and also she's lying to you, if she's not having compromising talks with her ex then she shouldn't care if you see the conversations and she's hiding it... I would say so many more things but my thoughts in spanish go so much faster than my writing in english haha... Anyway, the conclusion is you really deserved someone better who loves you and gives you all the love you give.
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    Where does it say pics in underwear? I missed that. If that was during the time she was exclusive with you that almost certainly a dumpable offence.
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    Leave her. If she deleted the messages she is clearly hiding something
    You need someone to be honest with you

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